Thyroid UK
82,961 members97,995 posts

Graves and agro

I have Graves and am block and replace. My house is under offer (since October) and I am due to move to West Country. Separating from my husband. Taking my son with me (aged 31 with mental health issues). Now my mother (coming up 82) is playing up really badly, also getting very argumentative (and she's always right!!!), talking about being abandoned. She fell over whilst walking the dog the other day and jarred herself, phoned me at work and demanded I went straight over. Found her right as rain!!

Yesterday she was insistent that 7cm was 17 odd inches! Told her she was wrong - will see about that!!!

Doesn't help when she tells me I got out of the wrong side of bed! I just want to be able to get on with my own life without all the agro and all the guilt being thrown at me!

5 Replies

having a husband who had Graves I can tell you absolutely get the hell out of it and let someone else deal with your Mother ( sounds like vascular dementia is starting or she is hypothyroid )

You need a very quiet life as any auto immune disease is very draining

As for your son maybe he is Hypothyroid


Not exactly an answer to your question, but how is your Mother's B12? Also worth trying to slip her some other anti-dementia nutrients. Have a look in the neurological section:

She can't be that bad yet as she remembered the 2.54 but just got the inches and centimetres the wrong way round.

1 like

Hi pingpong I am sorry your life is an upheaval at present, what with all the emotional aspects.

I am sorry that your marriage is breaking down after many years too. I agree with RFU about your son, may have a thyroid dysfunction and he should have a full thyroid function test as he may have a very low T3 which may be the main cause. Doctors are apt to only test the TSH and pronounce on that result. Your mother may be covering up her emotional distress about you moving away from her area by being nasty.

Reassure her that you can speak on the phone often (if you wish to). Sometimes when your coping first with your own ill-health and trying to solve things you just want to start life afresh.

Best wishes


You can only look after others when you are well yourself. Take good care during this difficult time. As well as Low B12 for Mum and Son it may also be good to look at VitD....

Not inferring your son suffers with the above - it just illustrates the need for good D levels to reach the brain cells. Almost every cell in the body needs VitD and Thyroid hormone - T3 - so when levels are low things begin to go wrong....

Hope all goes well for you and try not feel too guilty....

1 like

Oh dear. I've got Graves too, finished the block and replace a year ago and I had a mother who sounds pretty much like yours. Looking back I'm sure she also had Graves, she certainly had pernicious anaemia.

She used to invite herself to stay - she lived 300 miles away - at the busiest time of my working year, then complain that I wasn't there for her, she could be really unpleasant. She even told my brother that my husband had pushed her when she was in the garage! Not only was it not true - he was out at work when it was supposed t have happened and he was always incredibly kind to her plus my son who was in the house said she tripped on the doorstep - like your mother she was actually fine. She could have caused a fight in an empty room, to the extent that when I was a child I remember my father calling her Mrs Kenwood - because she was such a mixer!

What the others have said about vitamin D, B12 etc be well worth checking out, then you have to be really kind to yourself and try put yourself first. Your mother is probably always going to complain no matter what you do so you might as well do what suits you. Just try to grit your teeth and get on with it.

We always used to say that my mother was always right - even when she was wrong.

Can't really give you any advice but I can empathise with you and give you lots of sympathy, good luck, hopefully you'll sell your house and move on to your new life soon. Don't suppose there is any chance she could learn to Skype you to keep in touch - most libraries offer computer courses and free computer use? My friend's father was 87 when he took up computing. Good luck anyway.


You may also like...