It's going to be a tough week next week

[Starla]

Hi, I really don't have anyone else to confide in because no one in my social circle understands just what my illness does. My last GP told me to make an effort to get on with my life and said that she's signing me

off for fatigue but it's a short term fix and that it's not a valid reason to be off work even if my thyroid blood test is going to be done in a couple of weeks. My relationship with my OH has also ended after 10 years and I have to move out of the flat by next January. We have ended it because both of us want different things. And because of the illness I've been buying healthier things to eat and he doesn't because he doesn't need to. So I will be moving into my family home sometime in January and I almost secured a job with a care agency until I received a letter telling me they changed their mind. But I've now received a letter from one of the colleges inviting me for an interview. It is exciting and I am excited but with the doctor appointment coming up tomorrow as well as the interview on Tuesday, I feel like a bag of nerves. I'm just hoping that my life will work out better and that once I've qualified I can sign up with an agency and pick up where I left off - working, earning and making people happy. My doctor and family are all telling me to get myself back out there and start working again so I feel I have to please them by doing this and I'm getting the feeling I'm rushing myself.

[Jayneywales]

Starla. One step at a time. Lots of opportunities but don't wear yourself out all in one go. Make a list and tackle one task at a time. Prioritise and be realistic. Pat yourself on the back when things go well and don't beat yourself up when they don't. A wise doctor said to me once that we have to be our own best friend and it is very tue. Good luck with it all and keep posting for support. We all understand here.

[Starla in reply to Jayneywales]

Thank you. I feel like all you guys on here are my family because you're so much more supportive than my own. It's not as though I hate my family but I get frustrated that they don't understand and that they don't make the effort to by reading up about it.

[silverfox7]

I can understand what your family are thinking that by throwing yourself into work etched you will get a new zest for life but it doesn't work like that does it. You need to put yourself first. Have you seen any improvement changing your diet? I ask because after Dr Skinners death I felt at a loss of where to go next. My doctor hadn't a clue but was sympathetic so I looked at what I could try to hopefully make things work better. I thought I was either not converting well or that things weren't getting into the cells efficiently. I'd been put on Vitamin D and that helped but other things I had been supplementing with I stopped as I didn't think they were working. Wrong! I could tell when I stopped! So supplemented and followed advice from folks on here. I do have some food problems so thought it logical I needed extra help. 6 months ago I did a food intolerance test and found I had more problems than I thought so tweaked my diet as well. I've now lost a stone gradually over the last year and feel and look better for it. I have more energy so no bad thing either but then I hit a bit of a brick wall. This also corresponded with my next thyroid test which showed I was now over medicating! So the dose hadn't change but my change of how and what I ate had so I can only conclude I was using more of my Levi than before. I am now trying to tweak the dose to reach a euthyroid state and hopefully keep the feel good aspects. In not saying what I did will work but it worked for me. Sorry I've tried to edit my mistakes but phone won't let me but I think you know what they are.

[Starla in reply to silverfox7]

No I haven't had any improvement in my diet, in fact Friday I had gas and stomach cramps bad enough to wake me up. Maybe I should be putting myself first from now on but I'm worried my family will think I'm being selfish.

[silverfox7 in reply to Starla]

The gas and cramps sound like something not agreeing with you there. Had you tried anything new? Or may be you picked up a bug. Hope you are feeling better now. Yes it is difficult to do your own thing without upsetting someone along the line. Is there anyone in the family who you think might be more understanding or supportive? If so then take them on one side and stress that you are fed up not feeling well and are determined to sort yourself out but things may be strange for a while. It could be if they see you are determined to get well they may give you more space. The supemenys I am taking besides Vit D are selenium, zinc, magnesium, B12 and a Vit B complex. Most of us are deficient in such things and I know my diet is lacking vegetables for a start. I started adding them one by one so as to make sure nothing was disagreeing with me and it has worked for me. My folic acid was also under the range and the GP gave me a course but was satisfied when it was just in range-I wasn't so bought some more from Amazon. Read all you can and hopefully you will find something to help. I hope things improve for you soon

[Starla in reply to silverfox7]

The only thing I can think of that might have caused the gas and cramping would be a coffee I had on the Thursday. I didn't think that would do anything but it was a caramel latte and I put 5 sugars in it. I drank some chamomile tea which made the cramps move down a bit but they returned a few minutes later. I then remembered I had some gluten free bread in the freezer so I toasted a slice of that and 10 minutes after eating that the cramps disappeared.

My mum and dad are more supportive and they've helped me look at supplements when I go out shopping with them. They've also tried the free from food from the shops as well and they say it's better than the ordinary gluten containing food. They're who I will be moving in with in January.

My diet is seriously lacking in vegetables hence why my ferritin and folate are quite low. I have made points of bringing some thyroid books with me to show the other members of my family that what I've got is a real illness but how I'm ever going to get

them to notice or take my illness seriously is something that might not ever happen.

[silverfox7 in reply to Starla]

Glad your parents are helping. I have a problem with vegetables-after no end of tests I found I couldn't eat brassicas and the food intolerance flagged up practically everything else! Plus when feeling rough it's eSier to stick a ready meal into the microwave but that is very limited now. As I've been feeling better I've started cooking more myself so another plus point. I bought an app for my phone to chart my weight and it became apparent that I was losing weight when not well, tonsillitis floored me, but not putting it all back when I was feeling better so I think eating less was working well for me. With feeling so rotten eating was difficult but it helped me to adjust to eating less generally. Again I listened to my body and increased the food I was craving for. It's taken a long time to be happy with what I've been doing and yes I do have the occasional binge but that is getting less as well! Just need to get on top of the lack of sleep now!

[Starla in reply to silverfox7]

Yes, I used to eat microwave meals all the time or did basic meals with the oven/hob because I wasn't taught how to cook. I had home economics classes at school but they were for things like sausage plait and Chelsea buns. They're not really everyday things!

I used the microwave last night and that was to cook a jacket potato but I don't it very often now because I'm trying to cook meals on my own. Sorry to hear you had tonsillitis - I've had that and it's painful! It's hard to find the motivation to cook/eat when you feel unwell. Sometimes my OH pops out to get us food to eat if he's not too tired himself from all the work he's done! I found that my body has been craving salads. I had a salad at a restaurant on Saturday and it was lovely but it was so big. My body was thanking me for it though so I think more winter salads are in order for me. I get the occasional binge now but I'm not craving as much sugar or chocolate as I used to. Still got a thing about salt though. I'm trying to get on top of sleep too. Periods for some reason knock me out!

[silverfox7 in reply to Starla]

Craving salt and sugar could mean an adrenals problem. I was like that and had food I could put a lot of salt on-chips and eggs! I did read though that rather than putting large amounts of salt on food it's better to put a teaspoon in a glass of water and drink that. I went over to salt crystals and feel better for it though my GP tells me salt is salt in whatever form and will put my BP up.

I can't cook either. My mum died when I was 5 and my gran brought me up but was too busy running two homes to teach me. I did move house and school once and the new school had to working in pairs to cook a meal and then eat it. That was a good idea I thought but it was the ony domestic science lesson I had at that school. I don't particularly enjoy eating which doesn't help either! Just take small steps at a time to move forward.

[Starla in reply to silverfox7]

Yes, small steps are best. I lived a mainly sheltered life and had everything done for me. Which was nice when I was younger but as time went on it became apparent that I didn't have any experience with finance or home life. Just came home from school, ate my food, went to bed and go to school the next day.

But, I feel like I can move forward now - the college has offered me a place and because of my age and qualifications they have booked me on to do a Level 3 (advanced diploma) instead of what I originally applied for which was Level 2. I'll be taught how to do phlebotomy, stitches, intubation and nasogastric tube placement - nursing type things. I find it a bit terrifying but I guess because I've never done anything like that before that's why its so scary!

[silverfox7 in reply to Starla]

You will be fine! We are all scared of the unknown. Funnily enough I was only talking to my youngest son last night of responsibilities of parenting and as he said tough love is necessary to teach life skills! My sons were all doing their own ironing before the left home and they can cook better than I can as well. None of us know what life may throw at us so being prepared is never wasted. As to work I vould tackle things at work because I had to as part of the job but I found I couldn't always do it outside the job! A lot of the things you have to do will improve with practice. Just make sure you understand and master the early steps and then you will progress nicely. Good luck! Also meant to say that recognizing you have a problem goes a long way towards solving it.

[Starla in reply to silverfox7]

Thanks. It is a fear of the unknown I agree. If the guidance counsellor I spoke to was confident in me then I think I should be more confident in myself, too. Confidence is something I lack and especially since I never worked anything out for myself.

[Nan123]

Hi, can I say that I wish you all the luck in the world, it's so hard when you are battling with thyroid problems, as you read on here, you are not on your own. I think what you fear is change, I was exactly the same, when my life turned 180 degrees, I am still here, it's not easy, changing your life around, but, it's sounds so worth it. People, even family, if they do not have the same problem, do not understand, what you are going through...Mine Don,t!

So, once, again, good luck.

Nanna 123

[Starla in reply to Nan123]

Thanks. My family have never understood and have said to me I always look the same so how cam I be ill. I feel awful spending so much time at home on my own and they all say I'm being lazy and unproductive by doing that.

Studying will take my mind off it - I applied at a time I felt quite well - and to get me out of the flat and meet other people. By the time they contacted me to invite me for interview I thought they had forgotten about me or didn't have any spaces left and that was when I had problems with the T4.

[Nan123 in reply to Starla]

I had the same problem with the T4, so I do understand, my sister is the one that can,t or won,t understand what I am going through, so that is how I can relate to your family situation.

It does get better, if you are being medicated correctly, I don,t understand medication levels, but, there are many on this site that do, so please use their knowledge for your benefit, know that you are not on your own, that helps me...lots.

[eeng]

Starting work again is always going to feel as though you are 'being rushed' (I have been there), but it probably is your first priority at the moment. You don't want to end up being penniless to add to your problems, and living in your family home (presumably with other members of your family?) will also be difficult if you are unable to pay your way and buy your own healthy food. If people can see that you are making financial independence your top priority they will respect that and hopefully become more supportive. However since energy is a very limited resource for you at the moment, don't waste it on anything you don't need to do. Get as much rest as possible and look after yourself so that you do have energy for the things that really matter in the long term. This might mean you have to make short term sacrifices but it should be worth it! Best of Luck.

[Starla in reply to eeng]

I live with my OH at the moment but we're splitting up in January and I'll be moving out then. I will be moving in with my mum and dad who live about twenty miles away. I pay for the food in the household and so because I don't work and my OH does, I have a strict budget to stick to. If there are healthier foods at more affordable prices I tend to snap them up quite quickly. I had a bit more rest today but it hasn't helped because my period started during the night - with the cramps waking me up - and it's a couple of days late and heavy. My eyes are very dark, too. I see a doctor later on today and see what she says.

[silverfox7 in reply to Starla]

That could be a sign of being under treated as well