feel rough

hi i feel a bit rough because of ongoing problems with my family...they will not look at the i am hashimoto's article nor read up about my illness and so i feel that they are a lost cause since i have tried explaining to them my symptoms and what it does to me. they have since told me i have vitamin and mineral deficiencies because of my lifestyle and have on more than one occasion called me anorexic. they have been piling on the pressure for me to find work and i feel a bit safer at the moment because i am on a sick note and they have no reason to ask me about job searching...i know that when the sick note runs out, when my thyroid hormone levels are more stabilised and my doctors deem me fit i will have nowhere else to hide..i put on a little bit of weight a few weeks ago and since being on holiday this has now dropped but probably because i have been more active, nothing wrong with my diet, i have been eating well and have not skipped meals but i posted a photo on my facebook page with me in a dress i bought. i felt it really suited me and i had a lovely tan on my arms so i wanted to share my happiness at looking nicer with a bit more colour to my friends and family. after i posted it i received a comment from my family saying i look thin again. my partner has never said i am thin, he has always said i look fine for my height and size...just need to sort out the dark circles i keep getting. i feel like i have to constantly please my family and fit in to their ideals of what i ought to look like. just a vent really. that's brought the pressure feeling down a little bit. i just feel that because i personally deal with my illness on my own, it seems that way, it's taking that much more time and effort to get things done. this post probably isn't making much sense now lol.

9 Replies

  • I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Your family don't sound very supportive. Is your partner supportive?

    Perhaps you can play with your Facebook settings and have a group of positive people so when you want to post something, you can make it visible to only those people. It's hard to remove family members from your friends list but you don't have to let them see what you post :)

    If you are happy with your weight and it is healthy then it is none of you family's business. It sounds like they may be a little jealous. Maybe that's why they always put you down. Perhaps next time you could just say something like "thank you for sharing your opinion" and change the subject. Don't give them any reaction at all. That's what they seem to be after.

    Remember you are who you are and if they don't like it that's their problem. I tend to have less and less to do with negative and unsupportive people. They're not good for my health!

    I hope you start to feel better soon. Surround yourself with people who treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

    Carolyn xxx

  • hi yes, my partner is very supportive. he didn't used to be but he took me out one day and said that as long as i support him in cooking, getting things done around the home then he is happy with just that. he understands more than before. i might try what you suggested with the Facebook settings thanks for suggestion :) yes i am happy with my weight. :) thanks for replying x

  • Hi Azurablue. I'm sorry that your immediate circle of people aren't helping you. You've sowed the seed though, offering them the articles, and there's nothing more you can do to educate them in how you are affected by your thyroid disease - take a horse to water etc. The best action in that case, is to improve your health irrespective of, and despite their negative comments and views. Just checking, are you confident that you are eating well and healthily and that their views to the contrary aren't correct? I know from my day job, that even though we are awash with information about nutrition, that many people nevertheless aren't as clear or as knowledgeable about food as they could benefit from being. Might it be worth considering asking your GP for a referral to a nutritionist? Even if you don't need it, it might quieten the concerns/criticisms -although I understand that you shouldn't need to jump through hoops for other people.

    What Carolyn suggests about making your Facebook posts available only to those true friends who would properly acknowledge your successes, is an excellent idea. Or even, set up a second Facebook account in a pen name, known only to, and solely for, your supporters.

  • hi there, yes i have been eating very well - lots more fruit and veg and fish. i don't eat much meat but i do eat chicken. how do i ask for a referral to a nutritionist exactly? i might set up a second Facebook account instead in a pen name, yes. thankyou for suggestion :)

  • Vent all you want, Azura :)

    There's no point in knocking yourself out to please family and friends by subsuming your own inclinations. They need to accept you for what you are.

    The harsh reality is that while family and friends want you to be well they really don't want to hear about the minutiae of your illness. Well people don't understand chronic illness unless they experience it or live with someone who does. If they were interested in the articles on Hashimoto's they would have read them when you first offered them. It really is excruciatingly boring reading up on other people's illnesses and diseases unless one asks for the information, of course. I've always resented being expected to do so.

    If asked about your health simply say "I feel well/tired/dreadful today but my doctors are satisfied with my progress" and change the subject.

    Female relatives throughout history have always felt free to comment that one looks too fat/thin, hair's too short/long or looked better straight/curly, red/blue was never your colour. Grit your teeth and ignore them.

    If offered diet or supplements advice thank them politely and say "How interesting, I may try that" or "It was disgusting and made my gums bleed" and forget about it.

    Finally, unless they are financially supporting you it really is none of their business when/if you decide to look for work.

  • thanks for letting me vent. they haven't suggested any supplements or diet advice and they don't financially support me..i think i might just ignore their criticisms from now on. in the past i have let their critical opinions personally affect me.

  • The other thing I've noticed about being under treated for hypothyroidism is that it gets pretty hard to cope with everyday annoyances. I've noticed it in my other half. She starts feeling as though no one likes her and everyone's out to get her. I'm not saying that you feel the same - that would be really rude of me! - but I am saying that comments and remarks you'd normally brush off can really get to you. But when you feel like death, it's hard to get up the strength to answer back or stand up for yourself.

    Things will seem better when you're finally on the right amount if medication, promise.

    Trouble is, everyone, including GPs, seem to think that hypothyroidism is easily fixed. Just take those little white Levo pills dear. Trouble is, for some people, it really is as simple as that. Big sigh...


  • That's very true! I wouldn't say anything when hypo, even if someone had been extremely rude to me. I would think it was my fault! (Guilt can be a symptom of b12 deficiency, by the way). The only time I would say anything was when I was pregnant. Then I always said exactly what I thought. My husband was scared to go anywhere with me in case I got into a punch-up or something!

    I'm still quite timid but will speak up more. Feeling well definitely helps with that. It's so hard to stand up for yourself when you're poorly :(

  • hi there, sorry to hear about your other half having problems :( i know the feeling about how no one likes me and everyone's out to get me, yes. female strangers are the worst. i had that problem with my doctor today. will be posting something up about that. thankyou for replying by the way :) x

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