One of those days has started already!

Today is one of those days! It became so back in the small hours last night, when I experienced extreme bed turbulence, first from him and then from myself. He started with his flat on back snoring with hairy arms acting like windscreen wipers.

Then it was my turn. I have a bit of a frightful flare going on currently and it does disrupt my sleep. When sleepless not in Seattle but East Anglia. I do some nice sound files which in the main make me go to sleep and calm down the itchy and scratchy show. Not so last night. I have had some silly lady fuss gong on with my limited understanding of technology. So trying not to wake him, firstly a scrabble to find headphones to listen to soothing sounds to send me into something called sleep. First pair scooped up from the floor as I leaned dangerously out of bed taking most of the covers with me, causing male grunting (not from my side). This pair with one ear plug missing, how I did that I don't know but I suspect some recent violent hoovering in that area with a machine strong enough to lift whole carpets may have been to blame. I do recollect a strangulated noise taking place at some point. Second pair resembling a large bunched up birds nest of evil knots, with no light to see it untangle, attached to small MP3 Player. The lead so short MP3 almost on application worn as an earring. However decided to progress like this, but machine flat, no way of charging without disturbing him again. Brain wave. Plug earphones into lap top which has the relaxing go to sleep vibes on it also. No memory whatsoever of having watched some YouTube clips on high volume earlier in the evening. Plug ear phones into the wrong socket so that lap top makes a huge noise as supposed relaxing sleep files start up. He sits bolt upright in bed and demands to know what is going on and who is There. At this point I get out of bed and apply aloe vera from head to toe and stand in a draft whilst it drys, once fully chilly and furious, finally get back into a now deserted and empty bed to do the files and get off to sleep.

I awoke this morning to a sort of rhythmic squeaking noise combined with deep gasping and breathing. I felt quite alarmed by this and disorientated. Once fully sitting up in bed, I realized this was coming from outside the window in the garden. On inspection from my bathroom window the delightful sight of my husband bouncing on the trampoline wearing purple checked underpants came into view. "Morning dear, getting my exercise off to an early start before I cycle to work" Hmmm, yes, hopefully with some more clothes on. Actually it is a good start to the day the trampoline. When well enough I too do this, to warm up for my physio, when the children have gone to school and are not acting as a howling with laughter audience, but I do normally wear a few more clothes. It does give the feral, village bound locals something to talk about our antics, to make a change from their conversations about paint drying. Once we have moved they will have to find some fresh victims for their desperate gossip circles. I must try and give them an overload before we move on in a few weeks.

Once his exercise had finished, I could tell how things were going to pan out. He has been in a frenzy of activity and procrastination for days, aside from all the extra instruments being brought into the house to help with clearing it for the move, I noticed that instead of writing the reports now several weeks over due, he was busy researching which concertinas to buy and also how to take Lilac cuttings from all the bushes in our garden, this is actually great as they came from people we like in the first place so nice to do this. However I do feel an impending sense of doom if he starts walking in a certain way. When very over busy and over reached with deadlines he adopts a severe, very low to the ground, striding walk to save time which cracks me up and makes me shriek with laughter every time I see it, and in fact is a trigger for me to start up surveillance to go along behind and pick up the trails of lost items being dumped everywhere. This week a new guitar left ready to be drenched under the next thunder clap - leaning up against a lavender bush. His favourite often self collapsing at the wrong moment stool for gigs, in the pub up the road, and another pub ten miles away enjoying his left behind ukulele collection. His phones and car keys are all with me currently being guarded to prevent, 'I am just leaving but unfortunately can't go dear because etc'!

Meanwhile I have made the odd trip out here and there when not at home working. My last visit had me installed briefly in town with a ringside view for the second time in the last few weeks, of a particular woman who not only has quite clearly taken some time to hand knit herself a onesie in some rather ill advised colour combinations but also has taken to wearing it with pride during severe rain showers, it is an alarming although interesting sight when dry, but becomes a liability when water logged for a variety of reasons. Apart from the fact that the wearer and owner seems totally oblivious to all these faults. Good on her etc.

Today apart from alarming the dustmen by putting all the bins out rather than some of them, I am to blame with this also, my man

has decided to adopt a new regime. After recent news of using only a standing up desk, to improve health a quite frightful clip on item was ordered. So apparently, wherever he goes a clip on desk is to be applied, and I am guessing minus all the things that are supposed to be on it. Seeing as he and I lose everything that should be on our stationary desks, I can only see extra fuss ahead.

Now I must post my extra over due diaries off to Dr BDP and find out how I am doing, which I think since seeing him years back is better for those issues.


ps please save Saisnburys Activ Kids tokens for me if you can - I am collecting for my local hospital.

and pps - people power, there are thousands of members on here, if we all sign this petition and pass it on to at least ten people we could trigger a debate in parliament.... 100,000 signatures are needed and this is not impossible! The only people who can bring about change are us!

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18 Replies

  • Thank you for making my day, again. Visions of your man's antics and yours are hilarious. X

  • Yes I have just been given a huge bear hug plus a large fresh coffee... I am very lucky. MaryFx

  • Mary ..You paint such wonderful pictures......what would we do without you ?

    You've brightened a day that was going nowhere....or was it?

    Trying to get rid the unwanted HU NHS site news ( and no usual report from HU TUK so am linking in to yesterday's communication) and trying to ignore the religious group at my door at the same time then getting a message from Ancestry telling me of some relevant family history.. Aw ....that's interesting!.. well it was a different sort of morning all still in my dressing gown ..... but then finally dressed and a cup of coffee later along came Mary .........XX

  • Have a great day... those impromptu door step visitors give my house a wide berth these days... I just can't think why! MaryF x

  • Wonderful Mary, there must be lots of laughter in your house, well they do say it's the best medicine. As for snoring, once a week I sleep all night in the spare room, at least I get one night of undisturbed sleep. Couldn't do it for more nights as I'd miss our cuddles. Hope you improve soon Mary and keep smiling x

  • Yes... well I snore just as bad and I fidget........MaryFx

  • Nude trampolining might give your gossip mongers something to remember you by. If you're generously endowed gaffer tape your embonpoints to your torso to avoid getting an eyeful yourself :o

  • No we have already done that, we need something far worse. MaryFx

  • How stupid of me! Of course, you have :-D I fear the village will be very beige when you and yours decamp.

  • And don't set me off about the redundant bouncy castles! MaryFx

  • you really inspire some weird thoughts mary, I'm looking forward to the book about an auto-biography ---- the thoughts of maddened mary ....comes to mind as a title .....alan xx

  • Something the size of a central London phone book springs to mind. MaryFx

  • but what entertainment for the populace it would bring !!!!!

  • There is only so much moaning that a reader can withstand! MaryFx

  • I don't agree with that , your procrastinations are highly entertaining ---as per the comments that you receive to your tomes --- and I for only 1 [ and there are many of us ] that look forward in anticipation to the next edition have a quirky way of expanding your issues that doesn't come over as moaning , but as an outlook and insight into your lives ....alan xxx

  • Well..there will be some industrial strength protesting soon enough when we do actually move! Mx

  • you've got many of us waiting with baited breath in anticipation of the fun comments to come ....alan xxx

  • Thank you and I am now self banning myself from further replies due to the imminent commencement of a deeply unflattering exercise workout.PAH! MaryFx

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