I am a binge eater, I tend to have 'episodes' where i will eat and eat and eat, as much as i can in as little time as possible. Until i feel sick and can't move, then i hate myself for doing it.
I don't know a lot about hypothyroidism but i have been recently (10 days ago) prescribed 50 mcg a day levothyroxine because my 'thyroid levels are low'.
I know I should not be binge eating, I know the strain it puts on my body and especially now I know I need to be more careful with what I eat.
So why am I still doing it? Why is knowing if I'm careful what I eat i will feel better and will manage my thyroid better not enough to stop me binging?
I am an intelligent person, I understand that I should not do it, but something takes over in me and I will not feel satisfied until I have had a binge. I can eat little and often so I am not hungry, I can allow myself small treats in order to try and stave off the need to binge. But it never takes away the desire to gorge on pastries and puddings and chocolate until my heart is pounding and I can't move and I feel hateful about myself for doing it and how gross I am.
I wish I didn't do it, I wish I didn't look at myself and think I was disgusting.