Help? Advice?

[Wombledwarfs]

Help and advice needed about being bullied and lack of empathy and understanding from my line manager over my condition being made to belittled, anxious, that I affect other people in the office and I was unaware of this and being to feel I need a toilet card to be excused from my workstation even though my line manager and office manager have been aware of my IBS since I have been employed in the office since 2020 an I told them in 2023 my IBS was caused by being raped as a 13year old and was no fault of my own

[Oxygen_guy]

Morning, Having read your Bio and also your problem on here I feel you need to see what the HR say. But it seems to me you are working with one moody inconsiderate bitch. Her day will come with some kind of health issue. What goes around comes around. But I feel you need to go above everyone including HR and put your case forward to the main boss and explain your problem. At the end of the day you like others on here have a condition that we all struggle with at times. Feeling the way you do is Only making the matter worse for you personally. I think that if you don't get any help with this HR or the top boss, Then I feel you should look elsewhere for another job. You can't keep going there knowing you're going to be a target. That's not going to help you or your family. I know it's not something you would want to do in looking for another job, But health is more important than being stressed everyday going to office. It's an option. This line manager needs putting straight. You need to speak up and get this sorted asap. That's my opinion.

[Cat33 in reply to Oxygen_guy]

I hadn't read your reply before I posted mine You have said exactly what I'm thinking and more a great response

[Cat33]

Goodness me what century is your line manger in Would he or she be the same if you had bowel cancer ?

You have an illness like any other and it's a very personal one that needs understanding by others

I hope you will go straight to HR to get this person spoken to and told to treat you and your IBS with respect

I'm so very very sorry to hear of the cause

I hope you get this sorted as soon as possible

Take care and remember these bullying people always get what they deserve in the end

[xjrs]

Sorry to hear about your story. You might want to present this information to your line manager in the first instance which is about IBS and employment:

theibsnetwork.org/assets/fi...

I would also state that there is a strong possibility that they are in breach of the Equality Act 2010. If no joy with them, then present this to HR. They have a legal responsibility to accommodate your needs.

[Starfush]

without asking. How are you linking rape to IBS.. it seems more the stress and nervous system overactive

[xjrs in reply to Starfush]

There is scientific evidence that suffering abuse can increase chances of IBS:

ibsresearcher.com/diarrhoea...

Historic stressors can play a part in addition to current stressors.

[Starfush in reply to xjrs]

Yes alot of brain/gut connection through emotion, nerves etc

[angelwings52]

Before you see HR, write down the comments that she's made - this is bullying and discrimination, this is an illness that you suffer from and it's appalling that you're being treated like this. I think you should request that the main boss attend the meeting with HR, and make them aware of how hurtful and awful her behaviour is, in particular as she's aware of your personal information. Maybe you should consider looking for another job, as the stress will make IBS worse.

Have you thought about getting therapy? I've got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and my IBS got really bad, and as part of my therapy I had hypnotherapy to help with the IBS and I can't recommend it enough. I hope this gets resolved soon.

[Luisa22]

Find another job. You should not be subjected to this bullying. Get the heck out and leave that terrible situation which has to be making you worse.

In this "woke" world they will make all sorts of considerations for trans people, and all the rest of it. But someone with a physical disability has to undergo that kind of meanness bordering on sadism??

A big fat nope to that.

[Edith0]

hi Wombledwarfs.

This is truly appalling and I am sorry you have to live with this daily. The anxiety alone will only make your symptoms worse.

As others have pointed out this is bullying and any good employer will have an anti bullying policy and process in order to complain.

Is this a job with a union? If so I would suggest you talk to the rep, who will be able to support you.

Going from my own experience my boss (fortunately a good one) referred me to occupational health who recommended a job change so that I was office based and close to a toilet. The thing with occupational health assessments is that employers cannot ignore their recommendations and could be open further criticism if they did.

I know it’s hard to complain particularly when one feels so unwell. Is there someone that you work with that would be willing to support you? Even if it’s just to help to write to senior management.

Agree to that you ought to keep a diary/record of all interactions with your manager and check out the Equality act 2010.

I really do hope that this gets sorted and you are able to get what you need in order to do your job.

[Crescendo251]

Really sorry to hear about the unfortunate situation that you're in. But unfortunately many people who have the most severe form of IBS, like myself, are simply not fit for work.

For me personally, I had to quit my job back in 2016 due to my debilitating bowel issues, and I have been effectively retired since then and I'm only in my 30s. To this day it remains one of the most devastating things to have ever happened to me, and after I left that job, as you would imagine, I became severely depressed. And over the last 8 years or so I have been trying my best to just accept the harsh realities of my life, and also accept that life for some people is just absolutely brutal.

Furthermore, as someone who has worked in toxic environments before, my advice for you would be to leave and try and find a workplace with better people and a better atmosphere. It won't be easy but I think it's worth a try.

[Wombledwarfs in reply to Crescendo251]

I have just had a call with my line managers boss, saying it not acceptable for me to break wind in the office with out medical evidence from my doctor and flexible working will not be offered at this moment in time and my line manager was perfectly right in asking me not to break wind in front of her and I should be able to control my bodily functions and no I cannot bring in a freebreze or air wick to clear the air and I should respect my other colleagues in the office and there feelings in this matter. I have asked for this to be in writing