I read this article the other day - hopefully the link will work ok - and was just wondering how many people (IBS sufferers in particular I guess) could relate to it?
I certainly can, at least around the embarrassment side of things, anyway (I’m a 51 year old male, so obviously can’t comment on the issues that are specific to women), but a few things really struck me about the article.
Firstly, astonishment that you could be married to someone for 15 years without having a poo when they are in the house(!)
Secondly that someone would actually write an article on how to have a poo without their boyfriend knowing.
And finally, that someone could go for a month without going for a poo (personally I usually feel pretty uncomfortable if I haven’t been for a day or two).
No particular agenda here, and I’m very pleased that these women seem to have their lives back on track… but it’s very sad that they’ve suffered so much (as many people here, including myself, do on a daily basis).
Anyway, I’d be genuinely interested to hear/read people’s views/comments.
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Ugly_kid_jo
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Hi Jo, I think many of us don't have a choice, when you gotta go you gotta go. It is worthwhile losing the embarrassment if you can because we all have to go. When my gut issues first became a problem, I was getting huge amounts of gas and it just had to escape or I could not function. Obviously, I could not void this in public, and had to go to the toilets to do this. I used to worry about being heard. So I now have the attitude of 'what the heck'. What's the worst that can happen? As this article suggests, hanging on can be very bad for your health. I also think endometriosis is under diagnosed and can have a massive impact for women.
That’s something I’m actively trying to work on at the moment - being less embarrassed about it all. As you say, what’s the worst that can happen!?
I’ve certainly been in the situation many times before where if you’ve got to go - you’ve got to go!!! It’s the sudden urgency, and the subsequent worry about it that I continue to struggle with.
I do have a question for you though, and I’d be interested to know your opinion. If we didn’t have to comply with any kind of any social norms - ie. worrying about farting in front of people, making bad smells, going to the loo any time, any place, anywhere etc. (reminds me of the old martini ad!)… do you think you would still have “IBS”?
I think I’ve come to the conclusion, in my own case anyway, that the answer is probably no. As far as I’m aware, you don’t get a lot of IBS in the animal kingdom.
Anyway, thanks for your reply and I hope you’ve had a good, relatively symptom free, Christmas.
Hi Jo, that is an interesting thought. For me, yes I would. When I found this group, some years ago now, my gut issues had been dismissed by a disinterested GP as 'just IBS'. However, in 2018, a locum GP told me he was referring me to a gastroenterologist because he didn't know anything about gut issues by his own admission. I had a colonoscopy and was diagnosed with microscopic colitis. I also have a wheat allergy.
But, it is well known that anxiety has a negative impact on IBS, so stressing about it makes it into a kind of self fulfilling prophesy. I once worked in a fairly small office in Harrogate where three of us were similarly afflicted from a total staff of about a dozen. So, we didn't even try to hide it. We were open about our issues and even laughed about them. One or other of us would be gurgling away in meetings. Yes, there was air freshener in the loo, but everyone knew and accepted that at times, we had to leave the room urgently. It ceased to be a problem. If you can bear it, be open about your issue. Your employer is obliged to make 'suitable adjustments' if they know you have a health problem.
Thanks for your thoughts and sharing your experiences - I’ll come back to you with some of my own later this week - but to me, having been a sufferer for well over 30 years… and also struggled with severe anxiety and associated depression, it’s the only thing that makes any real sense. I’ve tried every diet under the sun, hypnotherapy, relaxation techniques, CBT etc. had a sigmoidoscopy, colonoscopy, endoscopy etc… but the best thing I ever did was join a support group for anxiety. Never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d do anything like that, or that I’d get any use out of it.
I’d be interested to know other peoples thoughts, but it looks like it’s just you and me here!
Anyway, very much appreciate your input, thank you. 😀👍
I am sure you will have others responding. My husband, who died last year, had anxiety and depression most of his life. I am pleased that you find the support group helpful. It is useful to have common life experiences. My husband couldn't be persuaded to join a group unfortunately. I am sure it would have helped him to understand he was not alone, others have similar problems. He was on heavy duty antidepressants for years. If you have suffered for 30 years, it must be hard to share your struggles with others. I will look forward to hearing from you when you are ready.
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