Signposting

This is sort of embarrassing to write but I feel I can post it in here and preserve my dignity.

Over the past few years I have suffered from frequent bouts of stomach upsets which has resulted in me having to rush for the nearest bathroom without warning and, on some occasions, I have not made it in time which has resulted in some accidents and ensuing anxiety and embarrassment.

A couple of months ago I was admitted to hospital with some heart trouble and was temporarily bed bound. I could feel my stomach starting to cramp and I felt the tell-tale warning signs of a stomach upset occurring. When I mentioned to hospital staff about previous accidents, my anxiety of not reaching the toilet in time, and the potential for another accident, they presented me with the option of utilising incontinence pads. Strangely, this did alleviate my anxiety, as if I were to have an accident, it would be safely contained and my dignity would be intact. Fortunately or unfortunately, I had another accident later that day whilst wearing the pads and had less anxiety due to this.

My concern and anxiety about going to the doctor is that firstly, it might be some form of stomach/bowel cancer, and secondly, which is my greatest anxiety is that the doctor might suggest that I use pads on a more frequent basis when there is a risk of an accident.

I am just wondering if anyone has experienced the same issue or had a similar experience and could lend their words of wisdom.

Best wishes,

MadeMan

[Hidden]

I know there have been times when I haven’t made it so I pad up before I go for a walk with friends. My husband says my bowels rule our lives.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Was this at the suggestion of a doctor or something you decided on your own?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I decided on my own to save any further embarrassment. I keep thinking why me, but why not?

[Hidden]

Hi Made Man

on three occasions this has happened to me the first one happened without warning whilst I was shopping in Tesco with my partner. I sneezed quite forcibly and ended up with a mess didn’t have any spare clothes with me obviously so I had to wait till I got home and clear myself up. The second time I was at work and the same I had to leave early to go home and clean myself up. And the third happened just two weeks ago when I was out walking.

It is embarrassing you are not on your own, me personally have never spoken to my doctor about this, don’t whether it is because I am a man and the whole bravado thing. Or whether it’s because I’m only 39 and I’m thinking f**k I don’t want to be having to wear pads at such an early age.

I do however occasionally just bunch up some loo roll and place it in my underwear and hope for the best as you know with IBS it can happen anytime anywhere and without warning, I mean I am talking from personal experience.

Using pads though isn’t the be all and end all and if they help then hey I say go for it I’m with you 110%.

I am a man by the way lol

Hope this helps and eases your worries and anxiety.

Kind regards

Shaun 🙂🙂

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply Shaunnie,

It has alleviated some of my worries knowing I am not alone in this. However, it is starting to affect my daily life and being only 24 I don’t want to have to be confined to the house or resort to using pads all the time. Even sometimes around the house I only just make it to the toilet in time.

[Maureen1958]

Hi, I have been wearing a pad daily for about 20 years now. Admittedly not an incontinence pad but just a normal (womens) sanitory pad. It certainly makes me feel safer, even if it is not needed. Also I find it's not always easy to get properly clean if you still have more to come, and so just makes me feel a bit cleaner. These just stick to your undies. You may think you can't go into a shop and buy them but no one takes any notice what you buy really and you can go through the self scan and nobody would know. If anyone said anything you could just say you are getting them for your girlfriend or mum, but I'm sure nobody would say anything. My husband has been shopping for me for years. If you want incontinence ones you could probably get them delivered.

Regards worrying about going to the doctor, please do go and get checked out, I am sure at 24 you have not got anything serious but you should get checked out just to put your mind at rest.

[Hetchins1946 in reply to Maureen1958]

This is me - and I'm a 67 year old bloke.

I've been using female pads for a while now and they give me a lot more confidence to go about my daily life.

However, I still have a nagging fear of a major episode that the pad (obviously) won't contain.

I'm waiting for a referral to the NHS continence clinic, and rather think they'll suggest proper faecal continence pads or pants if only to allay this worry of a big accident. I can cope with the thin pads, but really don't know if I want to be wearing a nappy.

[Maureen1958 in reply to Hetchins1946]

Well, at the end of the day, the choice is yours. Sometimes I think the pants would be better as you can just throw them away with no washing (and they seem to be cheaper than they used to be). But like you say, they can be bulky and I personally can't bear any pressure on my tummy at all!

[Talulahjuanetta]

I’d had similar issues although not quite as severe as you.I’ve just had a colonoscopy and this has revealed I have Diverticular disease in quite a severe form. Diet it appears is key to both conditions. Out of desperation I had an intolerance test done using strands of my hair. I was a bit skeptical but it threw up high intolerance to grapes (wine😢) red meat ginger and excess sugar. Since eliminating a lot of these things my symptoms have improved

Just a thought but please have tests. Like you I was concerned. It’s not great I won’t lie but the relief is more than worth it

You’re a young man. Sort it and move on

Tal

[GirlAzooga]

Hi MademanGo for the pads, there’s nothing to be ashamed of and anything that helps ease the anxiety has to be a good thing! I suffer from urinary incontinence too and it took me years to come to terms with needing pads, but now I have it just makes me feel so much more secure - I just wish I’d done it sooner (I’m 43 now). It has the double benefit of making IBS accidents a bit easier to deal with too - bonus. Take care

[xjrs]

First of all, there is no need to be embarrassed. We discuss this sort of stuff on this forum all the time. Second of all, please book an appointment with your doctor and get some tests done:nhs.uk/conditions/irritable...

Statistically you are more likely to be diagnosed with IBS than anything sinister. At the same time, in the remote off chance it is anything else, the sooner you get a diagnosis, the more easier it is to treat. Do not leave it. You can try to distract yourself with day to day tasks until you get your results. Just take one day at a time and not think too far ahead - most of us on this forum have been through this situation ourselves.

If you avoid getting a diagnosis, you will keep having these accidents. Once you have your diagnosis, you will be given a treatment plan so that you don't have to live like this any more. For example, if it's IBS, there is much that can be done to help your symptoms, but until you know what you have, you won't know how to help yourself and move forward.

If you are diagnosed with IBS, please check in with us again, since there is much that can help you. Good luck.