Depression and living with IBS: Hi this is very... - IBS Network

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Depression and living with IBS


Hi this is very embarrassing for me but I thought I would share my story and wondered if anymore else he the same triggers and symptoms. I have depression social anxiety and off course the dreaded IBS and now my gp think I am lactose intolerant (but to be honest I don't think they know what they are doing). My story started 5 years ago when I was pregnant with my son Bryce. My waters broke when I was 23 weeks 5 days pregnant by son weighed 1lb 8 ounces and he passes away when he was 5 days old. As you can imagine this resulted in my depression and social anxiety. I started getting upset stomach after I eat sometimes needing the bathroom and having a lot of diarrhoea. I would also go to the bathroom up to 7 times a day. Then I started to get an Urge that I had to go there and then to the bathroom resulting in a few accidents this happened after I eat certain foods takeaways milk cheese etc. The accidents only happened at home and when I felt ill at work I would avoid eating. To cut a long story short I had a accident at work where I eat a ham and cheese sandwich I had a little bit of stomach ache but didn't need a poo. And then it was like my stomach had exploded and I had to go to the bathroom unfortunately not making it in time managed to get home without people realising what had happened l. Went to my go who said that they think I have lacrosse intolerance because it runs in my family now I'm too scared to eat anything as I feel so much triggers it and was wondering if anyone has the same symptoms or any suggestions for me. This is a lot for me to open up about so any help with my greatly appreciated. Thank you L xxx

39 Replies

My condolences for your loss. Although I have had various symptoms my entire life (I am 67) the last year has been problematic. My ever present diarrhea could be controlled for social activities with 3-5 Imodiums. Sadly, as Of 2 months ago, Imodium no longer works. This condemns me to be housebound. I have uncontrollable completely liquid diarrhea 5/10 daily. I have resigned from all my volunteer groups, no longer enjoy semi-weekly movies and lunch with my brother or Girls Night Out. I have been poked, prodded, scoped, scanned and medicated. All to no avail. I have begun the FODMAP diet and hope for the best. And yes, it is very depressing. So you are not alone and there is no room for embarrassment on this site that I just joined 2 days ago.

Lozla in reply to Judyneedshelp

Thank you so much for getting in contact. I'm sorry that you are going through such a hard time at the moment. I haven't heard of theFODMAP diet before so I will be looking into this thank you. Good luck in your journey xx

denvajade in reply to Lozla

Try looking up a condition called Dysobosis, it requires a carb free diet.

Have you tried coidene?

Lozla in reply to Emilyhen

No I haven't does it help? Xx

Niknakk in reply to Emilyhen

I take cocodomol for pain and bowels 4 times+ a day it does work but side affect area extreme tiredness and if not careful it bungs you up so I can't win really! Bunged up in agony or in agony with runs! Just need to get the combination right. On the plus side I've installed a TV in my loo seen as I'm in there most of my life lol 😊

Do you know why immodium doesnt work now ?

My gp said before ok to take up to 4 ....but last day said no more than 2....I dont trust only 2 for social occasions .

Maybe one builds up intolerance.

Its a hard condition to live with

Lozla in reply to calista

I think if you take it regularly you build up an intolerance too it. I agree it's such a hard condition to live with xx

I, too, believe the body must build up some tolerance after awhile. I had been taking 4 for years until a couple of months ago when it just quit.

I just read your earlier post.

I am 72 so not at work but manage to live by using immodium and hope it wont stop working . Have ibs since age 40 .

Some times I take a codeine based tab as well which can help...or a a lot of anxiety makes it work.

I dont get watery stools but urgency wind mucous etc.

I do a little volountary work and play husband has memory problems .....more anxiety.

Niknakk in reply to calista

It doesn't work for me either now x

It's awful sometimes what our body can do to us. I'm house bound for days too. I have two children I need to care for but it is becoming more difficult . I cant sleep due to pain and burning in my stomach. Tommrow is another day ;)

Please read up about Dysibosis. Try a complete carb free diet, u can have cream in coffee but no milk, no potatoes or sweet potatoe.

This has also happened to me in the past. I am now very well controlled on Viberzi 100mg twice a day, Enteregam 3 packets a day, Calcium, and if needed immodium. I very rarely need it. I also find that cutting carbs and refined sugars has helped a tremendous amount. Good luck!

Your story is so very much like my own . I have been this way since Grade school. So was not able to do all the things others can do . Most of the time I am afraid to go any where because I have the same diarrhea problems as you and I am 68 yrs, old. And I am a widow so theres a lot of a lone time. Its nice to no I am not alone. Thank you for posting your story.

judy1713 in reply to judy1713

And my name is Judy :)

Lozla in reply to judy1713

Thank you Judy and thank you for sharing your story too. I'm sorry for you lose and it is horrible being by yourself. Xx

I feel for you and for your loss as I myself lost one baby at three days and one at six weeks and am now 70 but still suffer IBS which I think is a result of all that. I am just about to try the FODMAP diet and am hopeful that it will help. I think you will find foods that you can eat without getting diarrhoea. Especially if you cut out lactose. These days I don't get IBS all the time just flare ups of it. Very best of luck.

Lozla in reply to KefalonianKate

Sorry for your losses too. And thank you for sharing. My body has suffered so much since losing Bryce. Sometimes it's hard to think what's best to eat and drink due to not wanting it to flare up. I will look at the lactose side of my food too. Good luck on your journey xx

I do feel for you and medical problems bet a lot better and all goes well for you. I have a lovely family and grandchildren so I am very lucky. Good luck!

Hi, my story is similar. At the end of each working day I just had to get home to go to my toilet. I too didn't eat for the fear of explosions.

I started the hard restrictive part of the Fodmap diet, yes it's hard but it finds out what could trigger you.

I've tried reintroducing lactose twice. And twice it's been disastrous. So I know lactose is a problem. There are plenty of substitutes in the shops. Arla made products are lovely and tasty.

I'm relieved to know one of my triggers but still have a long way to go introducing other food groups. Wheat I'm white bread is ok, I'm trying pasta now , this is giving me wind so I'm not going to have white pasta.

Hope it helps you.

Lozla in reply to KatiEnD135

Thank you for sharing your story. I've just been looking into the FODMAP diet a lot of the food to avoid makes sense my doctor suggested doing gluten free too and to exercise as that is supposed to help. Pasta is ok for me at the moment I use white pasta. Good luck on your journey xx


I am so sorry for what you have been through. You must have been devastated. I think you have put your finger on the root cause of your IBS. The lactose or other intolerances may have kicked in since, but they are most likely not the root cause.

I don't know if you have had any professional help to try to come to terms with your loss, but it may be time to do this. Talking things through with a psychologist could now help you unload some of the emotions around that very difficult experience.

I would also recommend seeking help from a local Reiki (energy healing) practitioner. This alternative therapy can also help unload emotional charges in the body, that cause physical symtoms - and this might just solve your diarrhea. Well worth a try. You will probably need 3 or 4 sessions. Be ready to feel very tired afterwards while your body readjusts, so if you are working, maybe go on a Friday after work.


PS I am lactose intolerant and I have beaten my IBS. You may find some useful stuff on my SickofIBS blog.

Lozla in reply to Hidden

Thank you for the help. I will look into a Reiki practitioner ( I'm sure we will have one in the UK) I only work 4 days so that's good for me then. The NHS in the U.K. Are rubbish and I have been on a waiting list for counselling for years and still haven't had any. My work paid for 6 sessions for me but was told I would need a lot more sessions. Thank you again Alison xx

I am really sorry for your loss and understand what you are going through as many years ago before I had both my girls I lost a little girl when I was 24 1/2 weeks pregnant, it's a very hard time. Back then, this was approximately 37 years ago now, they just took the baby away and you weren't given the option to see it. I have been following a low fibre diet for a while now and I have to say I find it is working quite well - definitely best to look at your diet in as much detail as you can. I would try and go dairy free for say 6 weeks and see what happens.

I really hope that you can find a solution.

Best of luck

Lozla in reply to crazyfitness

I'm so sorry for your loss too. Thank you for sharing. I brought some lactose feel items tonight and some gluten and wheat free bread but rushed to the bathroom room straight away after eating. The bread did have seeds in so in not sure if that's a factor too. Good luck in your journey too xx

crazyfitness in reply to Lozla

Thank you and I wanted to share it as there is light at the end of the tunnel, you will never forget but you will come to terms with it and move on. I just look back now and thank my lucky stars that I wasn't full term.

I would say that the seeds in the bread made you rush to the bathroom. I stupidly ate broccoli 3 nights on the trot this week - I love the stuff - I knew I shouldn't have had it as my tummy only seems to be settling down today. Back to the low fibre!!

Best of luck to you xx

Sorry for your loss.

I had exactly the same bowel symptoms as you and it took 5 years to get a diagnosis, but have a read about bile acid malabsorption, I was finally diagnosed and now on treatment. I really hope you get some relief, take care xx

I won't go into my history of IBS d . All I'll say is that I was troubled for years. After trying all the usual meds., my doctor gave me Nortriptyline. I just take the lowest dose of 10mg each night and now I am IBS free, no tummy pains, no diarrhoea. Hope this information will help someone.

I also suffer from depression and anxiety, and IBS as well. I'm not sure which came first, but many of my symptoms worsened after my Mum committed suicide when I was 19. It took doctors 11 years to diagnose IBS. I suppose I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. However, one GP I saw last year recommended the low-FODMAP diet. I went on it straightaway with the help of a good book and it has made such a difference. Now I feel like I understand my condition better and if I have a flare up am usually able to pinpoint what has triggered it.

I became lactose intolerant a few years ago and cut out lactose completely. After a couple of years I found I could reintroduce small amounts of dairy without trouble. Now I can eat dairy again in small doses.

My GP also prescribed me a mediation called Loperamide. I think it is like a prescription-only Imodium, and it has really helped, stops the diarrhoea almost right away after one loose bowel movement.

If you don't mind my asking - and you don't have to post an answer on here if you don't want - but I wonder if you ever had any counselling or help for the loss of your baby? In my experience huge emotional events have a huge impact on IBS symptoms, and I have found that counselling has helped me deal with the bereavements which in turn has helped lessen the severity of the IBS.

Lozla in reply to LauraLadybird

I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I am actually still on the waiting list for council info. Every so often someone phones to let me know I'm still on the waiting list. To be honest I've given up asking about it and try to deal with it by myself which is hard xx

LauraLadybird in reply to Lozla

There is a charity called Cruse Bereavement Care, they are set up especially to provide support to people who have been bereaved. They have a website and all sorts of support. After my Mum died I was able to get specialised counselling for free for as long as I needed and it made so much difference. This was a few years ago now but I still recommend contacting them. I think they have a helpline. The website is Grief is a complicated thing to live with, and some bereavements like mine and yours need extra guidance through the process. There is help out there, even if it means a little extra work finding it. Please don't struggle on alone. Life is short but there is always hope. Xx

Lozla in reply to LauraLadybird

Thank you so much. I will look into them and hopefully they will be able to help xx

LauraLadybird in reply to Lozla

Have a look at the Lullaby Trust website as well. They don't offer formal counselling but they do have a helpline and befriending service with others who have experienced similar loss. Xx

Lozla in reply to LauraLadybird

Thank you I will check them out as well xx

I am so sorryfor you're loss, 35 years ago I lost my daughter after a full term pregnancy, the labour was complicated my baby lived for 30mins. I have suffered like you, toilets are a problem if you go out (lack of them) I am retired now but when I was working I was just like you. I don't know the answer to this horrible problem. I can be just vacuuming and I feel I need the loo and sometimes I don't make it. Did you have a difficult delivery so you have damaged spinchter muscles like me. Good luck and I hope things can improve for you

hi I know what you may think, that it isn't lactose intolerant, but the Doctors the better ones, of the medical profession have noted within the last few years, that many of us who have been told that we have IBS, do not! And tests have been done on many patients, with IBS have a lactose intolerance instead symptoms only to be Informed many years later that they were in fact diagnosed incorrectly..

therefore you will have to stop many foods you like stick to those that do not upset your stomach, as I'm sorry to say this, but some of what you like will be irritating your bladder, this will cause terrible pain, also the bread, its your bread that is made from corn, I have now to eat just brown bread & nothing I have has acid in it. Because it will carry on making your symptoms worse with pain, along with many stomach upsets, so ask for a second opinion, its better to know the truth, about what is really causing it. Because your bowels, can be sorted, but if left you may end up with incontinence this is terrible, I know only to well, but I left it, now I can not have beta blockers, because of my heart, or it may bring on a stroke. So hold your chin up, you are young, and have all your life ahead of you. & if there is a man In your life he should be understanding. You are aware already that it runs in your family. So stay calm, have the tests, they shall tell you weather it is or not . but its better to know, than not. At least you have a fighting chance of sorting it out. So good luck and i know its easy to say stop worrying. As what shall be, will be.

Sorry for your loss that must of been heartbreaking and traumatic for you. I have anxiety and IBS following the birth of my daughter and then the death of my mother 8 months later. Unfortunately each triggers the other off so when I feel anxious my IBS is worse and vice versa. I'm currently having counselling to work on the emotionally issues so I can hope to get on top of the IBS. I think I am lactose intolerant too and have completely changed my diet - have you looked at the FODMAP diet for managing IBS? There is an IBS forum on here too. I don't know if you have had counselling following your loss but would recommend this going forward. Good Luck xx


Hi Lozla,

You have been through a lot, Lozla. My sincere condolences for the loss of your son. Is your GP referring to someone to help you process what you have been through? You need help with this.

It is not something you can "just get over". It was traumatic. Your world was completely turned upside down. If help is not offered, ask your GP for help.

NLP (neuro-lingusitic programming) can help a great deal with the grieving process, trauma and related triggers (feeling insecure, not in control, worried what else may happen).

Lactose intolerance may have hooked itself on to that experience. I found chemical intolerance embedded itself while I was going though a difficult event (I was using paint stripper at the time). This may be the case with your lactose intolerance.

This article on different types of food intolerance might be of interest:


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