Very anxious and heartbroken

[Roukaya]

I am very sad today

I am deeply saddened with this terrible disease

My IBS starting as I am by myself

I lost my Father two years ago , I am fifty years old unmarried and unemployed

Trying to study and find a years work experience in Wills and Probate

To all those who have no one how much harder must life become

All I have is an elderly Mother and should anything happen I cannot even go and visit

I feel totally trapped and like a prisoner

Anyone willing to keep in contact

[xjrs]

Please Roukaya call your GP, explain that you are suffering from anxiety and depression and from the looks of all of your posts also OCD and they can prescribe you anti-depressants. This will help change your mind set. You have got yourself into an eternal loop that you need to get yourself out of. There are loads of people who are having a hard time for various reasons, have lost loved ones etc. When I was in my 20s I was having a difficult time and I used to go on and on to my friends about how bad my life was - I thought I was unique - the world was against me and everyone else was having such a great life. When you talk to people everyone is struggling - everyone have their stories to tell. At the time I took no action to help myself. I lost my best friend from college because I was dragging her down all the time. I sought help and never looked back - this means taking ACTION. Anyone who doesn't work on their own problems and seek professional help from doctors or therapists, get caught in a loop and constantly seek attention and reassurance from others will find it difficult to hold down friendships, which then leaves them on their own, so they become more anxious and need more reassurance, so the loop never ends. I am not a religious person but the adage, "God helps those who help themselves" is so true. You are stronger than you think. From your posts I see that you are an articulate and intelligent person. You can do this! You can make your life better - you have the strength within you - the first step is seeking professional help. When people see you helping yourself you are more likely to attract friends into your life and other things like work etc. might fall into place when you have a different mindset. When you get your antidepressants and start taking them, please self refer to NHS mental health services: nhs.uk/service-search/find-..., so that you don't need to be on anti-depressants long term. Believe me, it will change your life. If you continue to do nothing, ask yourself why. What are you getting out of staying the way you are? Will you miss the attention that you are getting from others by telling your story? Did you not receive enough attention as a child? Therapy will help you recover from this, to become more self sufficient, to attract wonderful new friends into your life and perhaps sort out your work issues. If you can afford a private psychotherapist rather than waiting for the NHS, please employ one NOW. If you can afford a flight to see your mother (which you can't do at the moment) you can afford that first appointment to change your life.

[Roukaya in reply to xjrs]

Dear xjrs

I hope you are well

I thank you for your well written post and psychological anslysis

I find myself alone seeking support and I did not knowingly put up a post to seek attention

Not knowingly is key here

But I appreciate that we all have our set of problems that we have to work on this much I agree

I have lost friends because may be have been bored and tired my repetition

I need to change my mind set is true

If I can afford a Psychotherapist this is something I will look into

I thank you for being blunt and honest and now I know why I am abandoned by many friends who have had enough of me repeating the same record

This happened on last year in the form of on line bullying

I need to change my outlook and change my set of circumstances I agree otherwise I will stagnate

Try to understand one thing I am alone in UK I know I am not the only one who is alone

It is not a question of being neglected as a child which is also true it is an issue of sheer loneliness and isolation

[xjrs in reply to Roukaya]

Well done Roukaya! You are insightful and have a great ability for self reflection - not everyone has this. I do understand that you are alone in the UK and that must be difficult. I am proud of you for deciding to look into employing the services of a psychotherapist! I am sure there are quite a few who will do Skype calls to avoid face to face. Just make sure they are registered with BACP (bacp.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobC.... You can spread out your appointments to reduce cost and also to help the work you have done with them bed in between appointments. Once day to day life starts getting back to normal again in the UK, you could join meetup.com to make some friends. Once you have worked on any issues you may have, since you are such a sensitive soul, you could develop some great friendships so you are not alone anymore. Good luck.

[Roukaya in reply to xjrs]

Dear XJS

Thank you for illuminating the fact that I have three issues I need to work on

If I can find an affordable pychotherapist then I will consider this route

I hope given what issues you have faced you are able to find a way towards a brightet life and future.

I have always been a sensitive and emotional soul but I am grateful for your experienced insight

[xjrs in reply to Roukaya]

You're more than welcome Roukaya. I have had my struggles and used to get stuck, but just decided I didn't want to live that way anymore. I am doing well right now, but that has taken work, but that work has been well worth it. It's back to that old saying:

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Best of luck Roukaya. Remember this is the first day of the rest of your life.

[Roukaya in reply to xjrs]

Thanks for your insight

You saw the signs and in many ways I will realise how to cope better with the mental issues I am facing

I hope you are able to cope with the virus and I will always worry for my Mother but I will learn to rational in my thinking and logical and practical in my approach

I have been discarded and openly rejected by others but at least I am aware of my issues and cognitive ability

My own Father was sectionned but no one listened to me but I can see how I hopefully heal myself

Thanks

[Jp1950]

That is a hard position to be in.

I have been cleaning up my hone and have thrown a lot of stuff out and I have installed a light behind my garage so people won't loiter there and I am keeping busy fixing things around my home.

Other than that the tv is my other source of entertainment .

This virus is a black cloud that will eventually pass after killing many people .

The only good thing is at least the virus isn't shooting at us .

Be strong we will overcome😎👌

[Roukaya in reply to Jp1950]

Thank you for reply

I hope you are keeping well

As we have so much time it is best to keep busy and I can see you do that

I have a mother who lives overseas and apart from that no one

This is why I turn to this site for company