please need advice, thoughts?

[artemisberry]

Can anyone relate to this?? Is this OCD or ansimus ( which I’ve been reading about) …ive been told for its IBS but im really no longer convinced. Im so desperate about it im thinking of trying to go private for healthcare around it. Any thoughts would really help

Difficult to know which symptoms come first, cant validate them, name the problem. Feels isolating and disabling but cant be validated as so, so makes me hate myself and feel its my own fault.

Lots of anxiety about going for a poo, the more anxious about it, the more I cant relax the pelvic floor and feels tight and im pushing forcing, because desperate to get it out but the more I push the more the bowel/anus something clenches. can only let out if I have loose poo. I drink strong coffee to make it come out. But even when its loose, its still clams up (spasms?) so even diarrhoea won’t come out.

Symptoms

For what left inside my body are weird uncomfortable sensations – aches, knots/cramps/dragging feelings/ bloating/fullness so don’t want to eat, slight nausea, burning sensations recently causing lower back pain, drained of energy, feel foggy and tired and body feels dirty. Don’t want to eat as loss of appetite also if I do eat it can almost feels like lumps in my tummy – wind smells very bad, but if unable to get the wind out the bloating gets much worse much tighter intensely uncomfortable -in work places going to the toilet every 20 mins feeling desperate to get wind out but clamps up, when I got back and sit down gurgling and moving around, but as soon as try to go to toilet in clamps up, once anxious which I am most of the time, about it I’m in a vicious circle the more desperate I am to get rid of the wind or poo, the more I cant, the more depressed and the more I feel the physical symptoms/sensations. Sometimes feel a sensing of stomaching/feels rubbery. I focus on the sensations. Cant bear to do things like swimming as will show my tummy, doing exercise classes as the wind my come out. Been recently trying to go to a personal trainer, but when wake up with it all feels unbearable

Psychological symptoms

Obsessive about the problem on my mind through out day and evenings, comes out in dreams, anxiety around starts when I get up, feels irritable, dirty, tired, frustrated, despair, desperate, lonely angry with my body and self, can feel suicidal had problems around all this my whole life ( im 46 now) and have fear and anxiety that this is for the rest of my life and is only going to get worse as I get older. Feel very ashamed and can’t explain to anyone really what the problem is. I imagine life with out and seems so much better but can’t see a way out of it.

Affects sex life, getting involved with anyone, feels humiliating, fear of smelling due to constant wind, but if hold it in and be socially acceptable I quite literally look pregnant and feel ashamed of my body the discomfort becomes awful and I just want o go home and lie down to let the wind out

I Can just obsess about the releif of going to the toilet properly. Coffee get some out initially, but once clams up that’s it. Even anus clamped so tight I cant actually let the wind out. My body working against me. At times just cannot face another day of it. The occasional times I go and almost empty, feels so much better, but tends to get more symptoms as day goes on as unable to use public toilets /other people toilets so symptoms reoccur often wind worse as day goes on.

The bloating and pressure causes daily heartburn/reflux, again this effects my eating habits also get big blood sugar drops. Don’t want eat as so uncomfortable as feel full or can feels hungry but don’t want to eat as can than feel so uncomfortable and more bloated and heavy. Sometime when the sensation and fullness suddenly switches to hunger I get shakes and sweats as blood sugar drops. I also sometimes get excessive thirsts and fear of bad breath for the poo inside me

Put pressure on bladder as well aggravates the urge incontinent. Getting into imagining this toxicity/faeces left in body poisoning me, damaging my bowel images of horrible stuff going in my body. Problems there on daily basis, but always more intensified with things like working, new relationship being out in the world more often, lots of fears around working being in an office because of the discomfort and isolation with it.

The last few months have had suicidal thoughts around as I really want to work have been out of work with my mental health for sometime, but just get so scared that I will not be able to cope with these symptoms in the work place… and then I cant see I future.

[platapus123]

Hi,

I want to start of by saying that the physical problems I cannot help with however want to help with the mental health issues you have been facing recently.

I can assure you that I have IBS (a different form to you) and I have bad thoughts about the future and I am 19. If you haven't already please go and speak to a professional who can get you some relief mentally. 90% of Serotonin (happy chemical) is produced in the gut so you're completely justified to feel sad, but check to make sure you are not medically low in serotonin. Secondly I have recently been going to therapy with TalkPlus (free therapy in the UK) and found a HUGE help. Once you understand the anxiety and how it negatively affects the digestive system it gets easier to control these feelings.

I personally do not talk openly about my feelings and so i apologise that I am not much help here but your message broke my heart. Please know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and things do get better. Help is out there in all different ways. I would recommend tackling the mental health side of it and then backing it up with some medical help. Often we find that the mind controls a lot of the symptoms. Also I have just recently been very honest with my boss about my struggles and she understands that if I need to work from home that is okay. Maybe mention that as an option and get a private room in your home to work from!

I wish you all the happiest and health in the world x

[xjrs]

So sorry to hear about your troubles. I wholly reiterate what platapus123 is saying. Please ask for help from your GP with your anxiety. If you have been formally diagnosed with IBS they can also refer you to a fodmap trained dietitian to take you through the fodmap elimination and reintroduction phases to see if you have any food intolerances. Food intolerances can exacerbate IBS and heartburn. The GP can also help with supplements or medication for your constipation. What I am saying is, it is possible, with help, to gain control of your symptoms. If you have physiological issues around defecation, there are trained therapists who I think can help with that. Making a list of your symptoms before you visit the GP so you can tackle each one in turn might help, assist you with feeling more in control and also give you a roadmap to recovery so that you can start to look forward to things again.

[IBSNetwork Partner IBS Network]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear you're struggling.

We recommend speaking to your GP.

If you need help and support for IBS we are here theibsnetwork.org

[Philbs1980]

Ask your doctor for two prescriptions. One for 50mg Sertraline and one for Linaclotide

[Iguvup]

Dear artemisberry

Sounds like you have been going through a very difficult time. I would go to see a psychologist as I think they would be able to help you deal with the anxiety, which in turn will help with the physical symptoms. It is important to get the right person you feel you can relate to, so have an initial consultation and then decide where to go from there. I also recommend, when you feel ready, a mindfulness based cognitive therapy course MBCT or MBSR. Make sure the teacher has been fully trained ideally at Bangor Uni or Oxford uni. It’s a 9 session course, honestly, really good and very supportive, non judgmental, relaxing, empowering,. Many psychologists are trained in this. I’d go to a private one, many offer discounts to those not working.

Good luck, let us know how it all goes.