IBS IS UNFORGIVING

[torcol]

We all know that their are triggers, intolerances, pain somewhere in the stomach every day, sudden urges, rushing and not making it, not going at all! Headaches, nausea, back pain, fear, anxiety, poor quality of life and not being able to enjoy the simple things. Just to name a few

When you find yourself avoiding everything you love, everything you enjoy, alienating yourself from family and friends it heightens the symptoms. It will of course cause anxiety because you want to be there, do this, do that, go to work, keep appointments, etc. The anxiety causes everything in your body to misfire. The negative part of the brain is much stronger than the positive. You have to retrain the brain. If you wake up and you immediately worry about how you feel, you have set the precedent for your day and ultimately the outcome. A doctor cannot think for you. They can prescribe medications based on the symptoms you give them. Let’s face it, our symptoms are different every day. If you take antidepressants, as many do, then what’s the problem? Aren’t you magically healed, no, well here take this pill for that. You see where this is going?

Try this for just two days

Every single time you think a negative thought replace it with a positive. What if I go and I have an accident? Oh well, what’s the worst that can happen, it won’t kill me. What if I get nervous or have a panic attack? Oh well, what’s the worst that can happen, it won’t kill me.

If you stay home all the time and have the symptoms what is the difference if you go out and have them? This is YOUR LIFE, who cares what anyone else thinks? Take an Imodium or take a laxative and go out there and enjoy your life! Give it a shot, think positively.

If I can do it anyone can, I have been living with anxiety, panic and IBS for 20 plus years. I have good days, bad days and haven’t got a clue days but I ALWAYS wake up, smile and merge ahead. The only only person you hurt by letting this dictate your life is you. I take absolutely no meds, zero, nothing because I have been diagnosed with IBS, I know what it is when I feel bad but I also know I won’t die from it! What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger so don’t sit there worrying that you might die or have something seriously wrong, live instead

[Sweepy13]

Needed to read that..... I’ve had that out look for a good few years, but recently out of the blue the inner gremlin is being really difficult to control so reading your post has reminded me of a few facts 👍

[b1b1b1]

A wonderful post!!! It applies to everyone with IBS and also to people with other anxiety issues. Just a great reminder. Brings a lot of clarity to the whole issue.

[jenny89119]

Thank you for your post. I suffer every day with spasms in my colon. I try really hard to.thinlk positively. I have tried everything from A to Z from IBS which never works. Your right that we need to replace the negative to a positive.

[Eastbourne11]

Torcol thanks for your life afferming comments. I've always been a happy confident person even when IBS-D kicked in 6 years ago. in but I have found the Low FODMAP diet has really worked and I am now back to my old self. One HAS to be strict on it, but as I say really works. They call it a diet but really it's a way of eating. No sugars! But you can still eat steak and chips, chicken in creamy sauces, savoury scones. Many, many things. Look it up on the Internet then once you have tried it - read the book, available from the library if you cannot afford it. It has given me back my life.

[LCat in reply to Eastbourne11]

You’re right Torcol, of course, I’ve tried banning the dark thoughts instead of positive ones. But on those days I find the ‘2nd brain 🧠 in my gut’ refuses to allow me think positive thoughts. Well I try anyhow.

[torcol in reply to LCat]

Oh believe me, I have those moments myself but I immediately change it with things like “ could be worse, I got to get up this morning, walk on my legs, I can see. Others have it so much worse, shame on me for not seeing the positive. Smile, lots of tones I truly have just smiled and it helps😊

[LCat in reply to Eastbourne11]

The problem with Fodmap I find is that most sauces (for chicken etc) or many cubes (like Knorr etc) have flavours, additives and other ingredients in there that are forbidden, usually they ALWAYS have onion or garlic powder (onion and garlic are 100% forbidden) or yeast powder etc. You also can’t go out in Restaurants : almost everything especially their sauces have forbidden ingredients. You have to stay at home and cook every simple thing from scratch yourself ! Very time consuming and sometimes no fun when you’re only ‘looked up’ at home.

[Eastbourne11 in reply to LCat]

Hi LCat you can have a little onion or garlic, there is very little in stock cubes. The Fodmap book tells you that if you have a small amount of a particular vegtable for example, that has sugar in it, to be careful not to add another item with sugar in it. Small amounts of different items mount up. There is an App giving the amounts of sugar in many items. It has changed my life for the better. Thank goodness.

[LCat in reply to Eastbourne11]

Can you tell me how to find the app ? I also worry re Fodmap : all prebiotic foods are forbidden but you need prebiotics in order to promote beneficial microbacteria in your guts

[Eastbourne11 in reply to LCat]

Hi LCat in the App store write FODMAP A to Z. I take Acidophilus capsules once or twice a week - billions of bacteria. I don't know if it is a prebiotic. Talk to the person in Holland & Barrett. They should be kept in the fridge. Good luck

[LisaFearlessFoodChef in reply to Eastbourne11]

I have recently discovered bone broth and I add it to soups, sauces gravy, smoothies etc. It's rich in minerals that support the immune system and contains healing compounds like collagen, glutamine, glycine and proline. The collagen in bone broth heals your gut lining and reduces intestinal inflammation. Yes, you have to make your own sauces, but I would recommend adding this into anything you can daily to your diet.

[torcol in reply to Eastbourne11]

I’ll take a look! Thanks

[Neil119]

I agree think positive. Very difficult today. Stil taking my wife out for appointments . LIFE IS HELL- But we have to battle on

[torcol in reply to Neil119]

Just a mind set and a “ if it’s not going to go away I am going to go on living with it but ON MY TERMS”! Sure, you will have days that keep you home running back and forth to the restroom. Those days are my “get things done around the house days. I’m at the point where I know by the pain in my lower right side. If I have that dull, gnawing pain, we are not even gonna consider eating out!👍👍 So what, I’ll go tomorrow! No biggie. Hope you can do the same and get that mind set that it’s not about them or what if, it’s about you and enjoying life. Time isn’t going to stop for us and I’m not going to watch everyone and everything pass me by!

[sandybeach12066]

this is spot on ! i lost my job due to ibs and LC i have a disability case in august .

[torcol in reply to sandybeach12066]

I know the feeling, unpredictability is the hardest part and it has no mercy. I just chalk it up to another day in the life of..... All I can do is smile and move on. My IBS is a disease like any other , because people can’t “see” it doesn’t change it. Like cancer, m s, Parkinson’s or any other life altering sickness mine too is a disease with a name and I know it is the most embarrassing thing in the world BUT, I’m not dying from it so when I get the terrible cramps, pain, bloating etc I just shrug it off now. No more medical anxiety because I know it’s just that darn IBS agsin😊

[SnooW]

I need to keep reading your post and try and follow the advice. I have found myself gradually withdrawing since my IBSd has got worse. Because it is so unpredictable I am almost scared to go out, especially after eating a meal. From your first paragraph I see that all that I experience is 'normal' for people with IBS - I now know I'm not the only one! Realising that in itself is a comfort in a way. Thank you so much for your wise words.

[Eastbourne11 in reply to SnooW]

Hi SnooW if it is IBS D do try the FODMAP diet but be strict.ood luck

[SnooW in reply to Eastbourne11]

Hiya, yes I downloaded the info and list of foods at my GPs suggestion some years ago. Glanced through, knew I'd never be disciplined enough to stick to it, and binned it. But maybe now I really should download it again and give it a go....🤔

[Eastbourne11 in reply to SnooW]

Bravo SnooW.

[torcol in reply to SnooW]

I am so glad that this had inspired you! Please be patient, it is a work in progress. You can live with IBS and have a normal life. This is your choice, let it control you or take control of you. Start each day with a stretch and a smile, the minute you get that feeling of dread find something to be thankful for and smile again!!! You can do this, you can do this....

[SnooW in reply to torcol]

I'm really going to try - I have another really nasty condition too, rheumatoid arthritis, (plus sciatica and scoliosis of the lumbar spine to contend with on top of that!) for which I can also apply your mantra, because the rheumatoid is one condition that really can rule your life if you let it and it can wreck it, just like IBS can. Two real battles, (plus the minor skirmishes!), but keeping positive about both, I can see, must be the way forward. Gonna have a go at the FODMAP diet too, as Eastbourne11 has suggested.

[torcol in reply to SnooW]

I wake up every day with a tinge of negativity and dread. I always get out of that bed, get cleaned up, eat breakfast and set out for my adventure. Now, I know I that after breakfast I’m going to have to hit the bathroom within 5 to 10 mins. Knowing that, I stay in close proximity. Most of the time it’s goingvto be a two or three trip process. No, biggie, it’s about a half hour of my day so I just schedule it in. The rest of the day is a mystery. Could be a no go day, a few pains here and there day, a go till it burns days, who knows? What I do know is that it is IBS and nothing more so If I have pain I work thru it and usually that takes my mind off it. I eat what ever, when ever, take no meds, probiotics or anything. Once you start changing up your diet your stomach gets used to only that and when you introduce things you like again it won’t tolerate. Vicious cycle. I refuse any lifestyle changes ( that’s just me), after my IBS blood test came back positive I just told myself “ there ya go” you have your diagnoses so you can live with it or try 900 things to try to see what may help, take a bunch of meds that may or may not work or quit worrying. I quit worrying and I am 90 percent better just losing the anxiety and panic!!

[SnooW in reply to torcol]

This is brilliant, thank you.

[Neil119]

I know what you mean - stay happy- I have had pain for 4 years . Severe pain for 4 hours 6am- 10am . Difficult to cope but what can you do?

[Eternity78]

I'm actually NOT afraid of dying ..it's the opposite , i'm afraid of NOT dying and living another 20 years with this unpredictable ,incurable , life wrecker disease 😤😣 I'm praying that my day will come soon coz i don't see any hope out there among the medical / pharmaceutical profession for this so called IBS ..can you fight an invasion by simply thinking positively ?!! don't get me wrong your post is truly inspiring and lovely to read but Unfortunately difficult or may be " mission impossible" to implement in real life ..but i'm happy for you that you've reached that stage of positive pattern of thinking and the ability to step out of your comfort zone ..wish i can reach half this phase 😥

[torcol in reply to Eternity78]

I can understand the constant uncertainties, scared to eat, constant pain that is in different locations every day or in the same gnawing location constantly, fear of leaving, fear of staying, nausea, fatigue, headaches and that’s just to name a few of the IBS symptoms.

I get it, I feel it, I live it. But then again, I don’t have cancer, I can walk, see, hear, taste, I’m not on oxygen, don’t need a heart transplant. You get the idea?

Others, millions are so worse off than we are, some have no hope for a future. Some can only wish their problems were as simple as IBS.

To truly wish for no tomorrow is a slap in the face to those that pray tomorrow comes for them. We are all human, no one will be lucky enough to get through life without some form of pain or sickness. Like a car, we are good for so many miles. We simply have to make the best of it. Tomorrow will come, why not be positive and make the best of it? Whollowing in pity obviously hasn’t helped and wishing for an early demise hasn’t either.

Another day above ground is a good day. I only wish you could see that IBS does not define you, that If you would channel as much thought into feeling good as you do feeling sick all the time it might just help? Couldn’t hurt to try, right?

[Eternity78]

may i ask from which country you are ? and if you don't mind me asking if i'm talking to a man or a woman ?? Environmental / social conditions and gender greatly affect our thoughts , perspective and self esteem ...

[torcol in reply to Eternity78]

Eternity78

I am from the USA. I am female in mid fifties. I have suffered with self esteem problems since I was old enough to know what self esteem was. I was always nervous, looking for approval, Amal about cleaning and organization, not a risk taker, on and on.

We moved ALOT as a child, I was always the new kid.

Im no stranger to depression, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, etc.... I’m lucky to have an amazing family, husband and friends but that wasn’t enough. It had to be me.

I still have days, I always will but I can control how I react to them.

[Eternity78]

Thank you for giving me a brief bio about your self , it helps me see the picture clearer now ..So basically you have reached your "stage" ..my therapist has always told me that : " you can NOT force a 2 months baby to walk when he / she hasn't even start crawling yet ..the baby has to take its time and pass through the different stages of growth until he/she start to walk alone " .

its a matter of time and having to go through the different stages / phases of illness and its agony until you reach the "stage" of healing yourself ..it's like having to hit rock bottom to realize that there is no way out of this dillema and force your self to rise up and feel better again ..by whatever method available .

if it was only me who is hurt by my disease and disorders , i would have carried my burden alone and just " suck it " 🤐🤐 but all my family is affected and hurt by my troubles , my husband is continuously teased by his family regarding my continuous absence even though he explains to them that she suffers from severe IBS ..they don't even understand the term !! they accuse me of being arrogant and inventing a disease just to avoid them !! this brings more trouble to the whole family ..my children also get mocked and treated badly just because i'm their mother !! " the mother who thinks she is better than us !!" misunderstandings in school and in a closed retarded community can't be easily fixed by just explaining this illness "and its limitations " to them because simply to them ( it's not like she has Cancer ? is she dying ? )

imagine being Hated , called names "Anti-social ,Autustic with half a brain"😳 bulling your children and stressing on your husband to hate you back😡 ..ONLY because in reality you're deeply Sick with an invisible chronic illness ??

The social domestic outcome and struggles of invisible illnesses are endless and need a separate Folder by itself 😥 i have just given you one example of many others that i can't mention in here ..but you get what i mean ?!

I'm sorry for the Lengthy yawning reply ..i just felt like the wound has opened and start oozing non stop again 😩😩

* English is Not my first native language so Sorry if you find it weak and strange 🙊

[torcol]

Not at all. I understand the burden. My grown children, husband, family and friends do not fully understand either. Although I explain they just don’t understand how it is, they say c’mon just try, we’ll stop whenever you need us to, its not that far, it’s just an hour and so forth. It causes more anxiety to feel that you are ruining their time too!!!! I get so mad sometimes I just tell them, go, have a good time, don’t worry about me, I’m fine but my husband suffers the most, he wants his wife with him.

I know too well how this disease effects quality of life. I’m so sorry to hear how others verbally attack. How unsympathetic and careless others can be. Chin up