Living at home with the 'rents

So I discovered I had IBS in uni after many trips to the A and E. At the moment I'm living with my parents while I am in further study.

I feel like they don't understand. I've found salt and many red meats trigger unbearable pain and can leave my stomach sensitive for weeks.

Just today my mum cooked spaghetti bolognese with 1kg mince and a full bag of pasta for 3 people. I barely ate a quarter before my stomach set off.

I don't know what to do, does anyone have any advice we could find a happy medium? Or to help them understand my condition?

Also do others have issues with salt, caffeine, spice (heat) and meat? These seem to be my most consistent triggers.

15 Replies

  • Can you not show them stuff on here or online that will make them understand it?

  • I have tried, they just think I'm being picky. That's it not a real disease really.

  • Looks like you are going it alone then, or us lot on here can try to help you out.

  • You lot are really helping :)

  • Everyone has different triggers and at least you recognise yours. Only thing I can suggest you do is cook your own meals and no explanation needed and no pain for you, parents may take you seriously then as if I knew meat, spices and salt were mine I wouldn't touch. It is hard for people to understand what ibs attacks can do to you I lucky /unlucky as I have had since birth and my parents seen the pain then and obviously they picked up on my triggers before me, but I still have problems trying to convince people now I am an adult how debilitating ibs can be, but if they don't believe me I am not going to get stressed out over it. Good luck 🍀

  • Hehe I do feel like I'm getting stressed over everything, which triggers an episode, which makes me more stressed!

  • Understand completely I having an attack today and I really didn't want to move this morning but if I lie in bed or get up and go out still in same pain, so out it was... I always remember things could be a lot worse and our attacks do stop and we have relief, and I have that in my mind instead of stressing am not saying it's easy but I have had major health problems what put ibs into perspective for me x... Even just listening to music or reading a book to relax, whatever you do for that will help

  • Spices and caffeine definitely trigger me, as well as greasy food, onions, dairy products and excess sugar. Stress is the worst for me, personally! I really suffered when I was at Uni.

    I see that you've tried already, but I'd maybe print out some articles etc, which explain symptoms, triggers and how it feels to live with IBS, then try to talk about it?

    Some people just don't understand. My mum does because she has IBS with the same triggers as me, I've mostly had issues with employers, coworkers etc. Some people think IBS isn't a big deal or that you're exaggerating, when really it can affect your whole life and you need people around you to be supportive and understanding.

    As jojokarak said, maybe try cooking for yourself, that might show them how serious it is and make them think twice about brushing it off. At least then you can control your diet better and hopefully manage your symptoms. Best of luck to you!

  • I'll definitely try to cook for myself. Thanks a lot guys, never had support like this before.

  • Cause we understand what a pain it is and we all need support at some point and if we find it from others who experienced the same then even better as we know what each other has to go through x

  • Try having no carbohydrates, you may have a condition called Dysbiosis! It feeds off carbs. Just gets diagnosed as IBS. But it's not!

  • I don't think it is carbs as I have never had a reaction to them (and I love my pasta).

    But thank you for the recommendation!

  • I LOVE carbs too! But if you have too much bad bacteria they multiply with carbs, ?

  • Welcome to the world of being understood. Despite taking the time and energy to try and explain this "invisible illness" to my close friends and family, none of them really understand. I can tell straight away from their comments, expressions and let's not even go into the territory of "unsolicited advice". They seem to think this condition is just like a bad headache or toothache and that it will just magically disappear within a couple of hours or a day. I no longer give explanations, if anyone wishes to find out more I simply suggest with a smile they "Google it". Trust me it will save you lost of pointless and sometimes upsetting conversations.

  • You're right, it's just frustrating that I have little to no income and rely on my parents for my food. There's plenty in the house I could eat by cooking for myself but there's a mentality around the 'family meal'.

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