Struggling

[mammamia05]

Hi,

I have recently found myself falling back in a bad way. I eat foods which I know do not agree with me and I end up having an upset stomach to clear myself out. I have also taken laxatives. I purge on fatty and sugary foods to make myself feel better. It is a repetitive cycle. Any advice on how to cope with purging?

Thanks.

[RexieSF7]

Hi there. I am so sorry that you are struggling. I too once struggled (for a long time) with being self destructive with bulimia. It definitely became a habit of impulsiveness when I ate foods that "weren't good" and "would make me fat". I am not sure if you talk with a professional who deals with eating disorders but it is a good idea. For me, a lot of the reason I ate and purged wasn't necessarily about the food but as a way to cope (or not cope) with my feelings. It was a way to numb out and not feel. I guess looking back, I felt like my feelings didn't matter and that even if they did matter to me... it didn't matter to others and so I never felt validated. If your able, try to be "present" when you eat. Eat slowly, something that is "nourishing" to you that will help you and not harm you. Once eaten, let it sit and digest.... and try to feel your feeling. If you get that urge, pray through it... ask God to help you feel what your body and mind is feeling. Ask him to help you get through it and give you peace. A lot of times, we know what foods we will purge vs those that we won't... try not to eat, say "ice cream" if it happens to be a trigger for you. It was hard thing to go through as a young girl because it makes you feel trapped at times, but there is a way out and through those moments. Be kind with yourself and if you happen to not have a professional to speak with, I can forward you some information for a phone consultation with one.