Confused about my relationship with food

[sadzreed]

Hi, I’m new on here. I’m really struggling right now with my possible obsession for food and exercising. I’ve heard of orthorexia, but I’m not sure what to do about it. I love working out, and I usually go to about 3-4 fitness classes a day. It doesn’t feel like an obsession but when I have to miss or skip a class my anxiety kicks in. Certain foods also scare me.. I’m vegan, I don’t like to eat sugar or carbs but I eat about six times a day in small portions. I’ve noticed a huge weight loss once I started restricting certain foods, but I honestly feel my healthiest and strongest physically. I’m confused about the “obsession” and weight loss/fear and don’t know how to solve my struggle before it gets really serious; maybe it already has and I’m ignoring the fact.

[lillyofthevalley37]

I think you know that things have changed it feels good on one level but not right on other levels and that is anorexia , it seems like it has got a hold on you and you know this too , you seem to have a lot of insight and knowledge about yourself , but you can't just shake anorexia off when.you feel like it bc it gets a grip and will not give up its control over you

[Audash]

Vegan and no carbs ? How that's even possible ?

But i agree you definitively have anorexia. The beginnig is like honey moon, we feel very strong, very proud about our self-control. And then at one point your body will say f*ck to you. And then to ill will take a lot of time. I went there, i was perfectly in shape, super lean when i see picture of that time i love the body i had but i was so miserable, you could see it in my eyes. Obsess by exercises, obsess by food, no gooing out with friends anymore because it would have involve eating...

And then i was so affraid to gain weight again that i continue my weight loss. Until we send me to treatment because i was litterally dying.

[crazycrossstitcher]

time to get to your GP and ask for a referral - restricting your eating to this extent on top of the exercise is a dangerous path - and can lead to really serious health problems. You need to ask for a referral to an eating disorder specialist - and in the interim try speaking to BEAT or Anorexia and Bulimia Care - but do take action NOW and ask for help before you become seriously ill - and I speak from experience.

[Blue123]

You need to get some help asap. This is like I have written it apart from vegan but I did cut out meat fish ect. I think you are falling into anorexia. The sooner you get help the better, I left it way to long and am still struggling with it 3 years into treatment.

Please please see someone.x

[SuZQ154]

You are reaching out which is wonderful! Keep talking!

I knew I was in trouble when my thoughts were preoccupied with those desires you described- to be thin , eat healthy, and exercise. Finally, I was willing to get Christian counseling, which gave me helpful, loving, and research-driven guidance. For me, I am a perfectionist and wanted control of my life, but moreso love. I did not understand that my "desires" had deep-seeded roots from my childhood and I needed faith in my life. Once I began to understand that I learned how to work through issues with my family and eventually to balance my life physically, emotionally, and spiritually! My desires are more balanced now... I still exercise, eat healthy, and like being "thin" but not "skinny":).

Would you be willing to seek counseling?