Seeking advice...possible ED?

[Phoebe_c]

I've never been that comfortable with my body and self image and i lost a lot of weight due to fasting and limiting food intake around 5 years ago but never got a ED diagnosis or went to doctor, just gradually started to improve and eat more due to family pressuring me to do so. However, about 9 months ago I started purging after I felt I'd eaten too much. Usually this was after sugary foods as I felt so guilty and found that I felt better after I had got rid of the food, even if I didn't bring it all back up. I did go to see the doctor about it, but I felt like a bit of a fraud as I would go through spells where I wouldn't ourge for a week or so but then when it was bad I would ourge everyday! His advice was to stop being sick, eat less and excersise more! Since seeing the doctor around 7 months ago the purging has been fairly constant of a few times a week when I feel guilty for eating certain foods and I'm afraid I will put the weight on, but I get scared for my health when I purge too, which has resulted in me restricting my food intake/ fasting. Although I still eat 3 meals a day I try not to have any snacks or unhealthy foods and excersise regularly. I have lost some weight over the recent months, but I'm not really underweight for my height, just borderline. I guess I'm just wondering if I should seek further advice or help from a doctor or not as I feel like a bit of a fraud as I'm not massively underweight, not purging everyday and not passing out from hunger. I just find myself constantly thinking about food, worrying what I will eat and when and feeling really low and guilty if I eat something I think I shouldn't have. Any help or advice would be much appreciated...

[joanna21]

Hi Phoebe ,I understand your reluctance to go to the Dr with this. Unfortunately some ignorant Drs will dismiss your symptons & tell you to eat less & exercise more as you found when you last visited your Dr. However what you are describing is an Eating Disorder & you should seek help & support asap. If the Dr is unhelpful I would suggest you contact ABC and Beat websites. Try & talk to your family /close friends too as their support is invaluable too. with love xxx

[Phoebe_c in reply to joanna21]

Thanks Joanna.

I've talked to one close friend about it and she has been very supportive and I know my family are concerned but I feel less able to talk to them about it as it feels like they just want me to put on weight and eat loads of food and stuff the moment it scares me to put weight on and when I eat a lot more I still feel guilty and want to purge but I don't feel I can explain that to them. Hopefully I will see a more understanding doctor this time around. I'm due for an appointment in a few weeks to talk about my difficulty sleeping so hope to talk to them about my food habits then. Thank you so much for your support and advice X

[crazycrossstitcher]

Suggest you return to your GP - and tell him you need an ED referral - he clearly doesn't understand the first thing about EDs - point him to the ABC website and suggest he might understand more about the issues - purging is a damaging long term health problem and it needs specialist help to look at the underlying causes - fasting and restricting is also not healthy and again the cause needs exploring with specialist guidance - do contact ABC or visit the website as it gives useful advice - BEAT can also provide some insight - but EDs are an illness and they need treatment so do push to get proper help - you're not a fraud.

[Phoebe_c in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you, it means a lot to have someone understand these issues and give their advise. I will try to push the GP for some help. Will let you know how it goes!

[MEJones]

Hi

Really sorry to hear about your troubles with the Dr, it’s so frustrating to want to seek help and to have no helpful advice given to you. From what you have described you do have an eating disorder and it’s fantastic that you want to get better. I suffered from severe anorexia athletica and found the start of recovery harder than anything, but the further in you get the easier it becomes as you find yourself getting less and less anxious & the ED voice does get quieter. When I was recovering I found this website tabithafarrar.com really helpful & the podcast really interesting. Tabitha had a really healthy approach to getting better and how to deal with the weight gain which whilst terrifying is 100% necessary. She really helped me not only with the weight gain but with challenging the other behaviours that ED’s create and trying to push through the anxiety.

Keep pushing your Dr or make appoinents with other Gp’s Until you find one who understands your issues. You have the right to be healthy, the right to be happy and the right to the right Treatment. If you can let your family help you, Ed’s are hard to understand from an outside perspective but you’ll be surprised just how understanding your family can be if you let them in. x x

Good luck with your journey.

[Phoebe_c in reply to MEJones]

Thank you ME Jones I will look at the link! Xx