Pain and things I feel I have to do

[beaglab]

I have pain almost all the time. I am 63 and live with my husband and dog. My mother, age 92, has dementia, and just had her 2nd stroke in February when I drove to PA to see her. I go to see my siblings, sons and grandchildren, too. Most times it is a struggle to do things, like pack, cook meals, work and do laundry. I got the flu and cannot even sub teach now. The Raynaud's attacks get worse and the same finger gets infected and sore. Niacin and hand warmers help. Acetaminophen helps, too. I go to help my sister, but she is stronger and more timely than I am. I do not think she likes having me around. I try to help because I love my family. I am feeling sorry for myself. I have no desire to read or do my hobbies. Lots of people get the flu and don't act selfish and pity themselves. Then, when someone acts mean to me or gossips, like one of my daughters-in-law, I feel down. I cannot understand her reasons for being unkind and gossiping about me. No one is perfect. Thank you for allowing me to share here. I wish all of you happier days ahead and a bright future.

[pigeonCl-HU]

Dear beaglab, You did well to post; don't worry, none of us is at our best when we are in pain. Feeling sorry for yourself is a result of you feeling isolated, and craving affection.

You said you have a dog, animals give you unconditional love, spend time with your dog, walk him when you can, you might meet other dog walkers, have something in common to talk about, and it will lift your mood.

Your daughter-in-law gossips because it is easier to kick a person when they are down, rather then offering a helping hand.

She does not sound like a very nice person.

Do you believe in Karma, beaglab? I do!

pigeon.

[beaglab in reply to pigeonCl-HU]

Hi Pigeon, thank you for your encouragement. Yes, I suppose my daughter-in-law has a "better than everyone" attitude. She found out the truth about my other daughter-in-law by a nurse friend of hers who violated hipaa. I refuse to tell my son that she did that. It would hurt him, his wife and children. There was no reason for her to tell me that. She gained nothing from it, just my distrust for her. I have a hard time praying for her. My husband thinks I should. I will try. I will walk my dog again some day, just too drained now. Thank you for being nice to me.

[pigeonCl-HU in reply to beaglab]

beaglab, I can see why you have a hard time praying for someone who has malice in their heart.

Prayers should be sincere. If you do not feel it in your heart, then any prayer will be a false one anyway. I hope your husband will understand.

You seem to be going thru a rough time now, dear beaglab, but, you know, sometimes concentrating on just One good thing in your life, may lead you to feel a little bit better.

Stroke your dog for me, animals are innocent.

Better times will come.

Take care.

[beaglab in reply to pigeonCl-HU]

Thank you pigeon, you have a good heart. I appreciate your kindness.

[Mirv]

I can totally understand where you are coming from. I can agree with you on so many levels. I am 53, have a 91year old mother in law who had a fall, hospital for months, only me to drive 90min round journey, no other family to help, adult brother and sister with learning difficulties that I have financial responsibility for, work full time as main earner, staff member on long term sick leave, best friend ill and not well enough to talk on phone and only child moved down south to take up job after graduating. Oh and I have scleroderma and reynauds. I have struggled at times, cried with frustration at things I can no longer do. I feel sad when I see older couples out for a walk and think I can't do that, it's not fair. But after all that moaning things change. Health is a bit better, weather nicer, flowers arrived from my daughter this morning. I hope that you get through this difficult phase as I am sure you will. Sending you a big 🤗.

[beaglab in reply to Mirv]

Thank you Mirv, you are a strong, loving person. My younger brother has mental health issues and does not admit it. Everyone else can see it. I will remember your wonderful example and try to be more like you are. I will let my tears fall when I need to, in my home. I am going to see Christian counselor on Monday, so I can get my feelings. God is always with you. Thank you for kind to me as I reach out. I hope to hear more from you. God gives you strength and is with you always. Take care of yourself.

Sincerely,

Beaglab (I love my little beagle and my sister's lab!)

[candybeagle55]

People just don't understand somtimes. I think they often don't mean anything vicious but it seems that way. I have many challenges and almost everyone around me has something. Most people do not realize that getting an autoimmune disease is very possible for anyone. Diabetes is related to autoimmune, Thyroid problems, etc...Our processed foods, antibiotics, medicines make people more susceptible to get and AI. You should explain to your DIl that she should pay attention to what you are experiencing bc it might help her or someone she knows in the future. I always share my condition...bc there are alot of people out there that have AI and don't know it. 1 in 10 to be statistically correct

[beaglab in reply to candybeagle55]

Thank you for your compassion candybeagle. I don't think it is worth it to make my daughter-in-law aware, mostly because she lacks compassion end speaks negatively about and to others. I respect confidentiality. You are correct about people learning about autoimmune diseases. Most people don't understand the role our environment and nutrition play in our lives. Thank you for the emotional support.