Dating with Scleroderma

[Redoralive]

Hi guys,

So I have pretty severe diffuse cutaneous scleroderma. I have had 2 episodes of renal crisis (I'm now on haemodialysis), my lungs cant expand fully because my chest is so tight and I have myositis which means I have pretty weak muscles.

At the beginning of the year my long term partner and I seperated because of the stress my illness was putting on us. I've taken a few months to deal with my health and other stuff in my life but now I'm ready to get back out there.

I guess I'm just after advice from people on how and when its appropriate to bring up my disease? I don't want to scare everyone off but at the same time hospital visits are a big part of my life right now and I feel like itd be wrong to purposely omit that...

Help?

[Hidden]

I don’t think there’s a wrong or right answer here; I suppose reasonably early & only when you’re sure you want to see the person again? Unless of course you’re having a conversation about why you’re both single & you’re mentioning why your last relationship ended. I personally wouldn’t even mention it on a first date

[QofL]

Hello Redoralive,

I have a similar diagnosis, a very aggressive form of scleroderma and similar situation as you.

I cannot possibly tell you what to do but here are my experiences over the years when all I had to contend with was the diabetes. I have been diagnosed with sclr... about 7 months ago and have been showing increasing symptoms for a year.

Since I am a male, weaker of the species ( ), It probably is a tad bit different than yours.

I separate people I date into three categories within the context of health.

1. They don't care.

2. They care only within the scope of how it affects them.

3. You have just been adopted by a combination of a surrogate Mum, Nurse, Doctor, priest etc. Who is armed to the teeth with best search engines available to mankind.

Categories one and two are manageable to a level, but I do avoid, and suggest the same for the third.

How to tell is up to you, usually broaching the subject about a "imaginary sick friend might help. Or you could be straight up honest about it when you are comfortable and decide that you like them.

What is important is, you are important and you matter. Your comfort and peace of mind comes above else. To be Honest, it is time to be a bit selfish.

I know the pain and discomfort you feel daily and go through.

I tried to keep this short, please PM me freely, if you have questions or wish to discuss the issue further.