Mother-of-Pearl (still coping with a loss)

[MYNN]

I wanna be an oyster buried deep in the oceanic sand

I wanna be away from all what hurts me and can’t seem to understand

I wish I had no feelings.

I wish I had no heart.

I wish I wasn’t beside myself

Feeling this all-consuming pain.

I can’t trust anyone around me,

But I still give and give and give,

You came to me by accident,

Opportunistic parasite,

You were the worst to me.

Everyone else saw the exterior protective ugliness

My unattractive shell,

My scowling face,

My pouty lips,

But you were different

I thought you were like me.

I opened up to you and trusted you

You were my favorite guy

You were more handsome than Jason Mamoa in my eyes

To everyone else you were like Erkel

Or more annoying than the creator of The Family Guy

I offered you a temporary place to hide when you needed a sanctuary

at Motel 6 or La Fuente Inn,

But you wanted something more invasive, you wanted to see where I lived

yet you didn’t want to be committed to something permanent.

I felt the need to defend myself from your passive attacks

Your guilt-trips and omissions of the truth where more hurtful than your lies

You took precautions to never be attached, but you wouldn’t leave my shell

The irony is that I never wanted to keep you trapped.

In the end, we both got something; Didn’t we?

I’m more beautiful inside-- mother-of -Pearl oyster buried in the sand

And you became an iridescent gem looking better then you ever could comprehend

handsome pearl you’re free to break new hearts again.

[Hidden]

Beautiful x