Incontinence underwear : Looking for... - The Simon Foundat...

The Simon Foundation for Continence

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Incontinence underwear

Looking for help in purchasing incontinence supplies I don't just leak . I flood, I have no control over my Bladder. Help I'm desperately 😫 seeking help

10 Replies

Hello Mollybe!

First off I am sorry that you are dealing with incontinence. It cuts deep, and is a tough road. I too am incontinent, in my early 40’s. I have been incontinent for about 4 years now. I am also a nurse, and grateful despite my disabilities to be able to work.

While I am a male and can’t speak exactly to the best female specific underwear, I can share some general principles that may be helpful.

First off, I have not had good luck with store brand supplies and can’t really recommend them. Besides, it is embarrassing to get in line at the store with these supplies. Online is a great way to go and many places have subscriptions with savings. In addition, they may also have sample packs so you can try a few different items and see what works best for you. HDIS, Northshore, XP medical, to name a few. You also get them delivered to you embarrassment free.

Ok, as to style. I prefer the taped full briefs to pull ups. I also flood rather than leaking and full briefs are better for this. I am a big fan of Abena after trying many different brands, but your mileage may vary. I wear Level 2 premium during the day. Very comfortable and discreet, yet they almost never leak and never have with a single wetting. I wear the level 4 at night with a booster. With this setup I almost never leak at home or in a bed where I am visiting.

This leads to changing. Briefs have a huge advantage here for active folks because they can be changed without fully removing your clothes. You can stand in a restroom stall facing away from the toilet and nobody will know the wiser (except for the sound of tapes that can be timed to avoid notice). I’ll get to changing at friends and families houses in a moment.

I keep my supplies in a backpack, briefs, black grocery style bags (Sam’s Club has them in bulk), and some gallon ziplock bags. Wipes creams etc for skin health can also go in there too. I used to change a brief and then walk it through a bathroom to the trash hoping nobody would see me (I called this the walk of shame and hated it). Men’s rooms don’t have trash cans in the stall. This is what the black grocery bags in my backpack are for, giving me some dignity in carrying a soiled brief to the trash. We should keep whatever dignity we can.

As for changing in a bathroom at someone else’s house? That is where the ziplocks come in! I can change in any bathroom and if I need to I can put the brief in a ziplock and back into the backpack. Then, at my convenience I can throw it out at home. Leaving a used brief in a friend/family bathroom is about as embarrassing as it gets!

This answer goes beyond your question, but I really hope it is helpful and encouraging. Incontinence is more common than people think and by nature tends to make us feel isolated. So glad you came to the forum to get advice. Keep your chin up! You can live a great life with these challenges and find products that will go right along with you.

in reply to Pluggnalong

Thank you

Wonderful advice! Thank you! Molly, I wear the MegaMax diapers from NorthShore.Care

USAanon profile image
USAanon in reply to Pluggnalong

Very grateful for your tips

Pluggnalong profile image
Pluggnalong in reply to USAanon

You are most welcome! Best of luck in your journey. Fecal incontinence is really rough. It takes a lot of courage to go out and about knowing that you may have an accident. I don’t worry about bladder accidents much. Thankfully every time I have had a bowel accident out in public people have been startled yet kind. Hang in there!

Hi Molly, here's a product advisor for women that you may find helpful. Just answer a few questions based on your needs and this should steer you in the right direction where you can find/purchase products to be shipped right to your door.continenceproductadvisor.or...

in reply to learnandgrow

The problem I have is I don't just leak I flood I no longer have control over bladder. Every underwear I buy just does not work . I need a very heavy underwear at night sleeping where it doesn't soil my bed

LIincongurl profile image
LIincongurl in reply to

I have the same exact issue. Have you found a product yet that works ??

I have the exact same issue

You sound a lot like me. My most successful arrangement has been Abena Abri-form (level 4) during the daytime and one of the disposables from Incontrol Diapers at night. I try for 3 total changes per day. Hang in there!

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