My daughter did the pleur x catheter drainage and dressing Saturday. She did a great job.She has been a 'caretaker' for quite awhile, scheduling my appointments, taking me t appointments, talking through I ugh decisions, very fun to be with, great gallows humor we share. And now this. I can't do the dressing myself because of the location.
My biggest accomplishment today was that l was able to put a shower guard on and take a shower (thank you so, so much to the sister here who shared the shower guard trick with me).
This is the first time l am thinking of my daughter as a caretaker - it feels like such a loss of independence and a foreshadowing of what's coming (ughhh).
I just hope the complete physical dependence on others (mostly my sweet daughter) part of the whole dying thing will be short.
Thanks for being here.
Love, Mary.
💜💕🪷💕💜
Written by
NPmary
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Hi Mary. I am so glad that your daughter was able to successfully learn to manage your Pleurx. I am also happy that my recommendation of the shower guard made you able to have a shower again. It's a small thing that we take for granted until we find ourselves unable to do it for one reason or another.I think we all understand the feelings around lost of the independence we once had but we have to remember that for our loved ones who become care givers, whether it's a spouse or a child, they often feel at such a lost as to how to help and giving them tasks helps. Plus you have to remember if the situation was reversed you would do it for your daughter in a heartbeat.
Stay strong my fellow MBC buddy. Enjoy what you can every day and treasure the small things that in our previous busy work life we never had the time for. We are here for you. Please know that. Take care.
that’s what makes this website so helpful -shared experience on how to manage a problem and improve quality of life. You have an amazing daughter - you must be so very proud of her. My daughters have also been so brilliant during this recovery from cardiac surgery and gallows humour rules. We laugh until tears roll when I’ve got in a tangle.
You have an amazing daughter, I thank God for her for you. I also share your sentiments on loss of independence or dependence on others. My daughter is also my main care giver and I feel so sorry for to have to do things for me all the time. But like Bikebabe said be proud of her and grateful that she is there for you, I know I am.
REPLY TO KRUZA:Yes, I am so proud of my daughter and so grateful. My feelings of loss and dependence in no way diminish my love and appreciation for the amazing being she is. I am quite certain that if it weren't for our living together I would not even be alive to write this now.
Dear NPMary---We have been on this road for awhile and I have followed you with admiration. You have given good and caring advice to others and that is so appreciated. In fact, we all benefit from the communal care giving. Thank you, NPMary! I hope you are not suffering too badly.
I have been depending more and more on my daughter also. I feel awful about it. She has been amazing but I know she is stressed out. She works full time and has a demanding job and is married. We love being together but I have no one else to depend on. My boyfriend has copd and severe arthritis. We are both falling apart. I wish I could make it easier on herI don't have a car and I will be starting radiation for a spot on my side. It requires going everyday for ten days in a row and now we have to coordinate her driving me there. The fun doesn't stop does it. I use 2 organizations that provide medical rides but will only do one ride a week. The neuropathy in my left arm is getting worse. The pain is getting really bad to the point where yesterday , when they were marking me, the pain was so bad I needed to move my arm. Does anyone have advice for lessening the pain? The position they put my arm in hurt so bad.
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Phew! 
surgery update! 😭❤️
Newbie here from Oz.
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