So disinterested in sex

[Nocillo]

I’m thinking this might be an issue for many of us who are being robbed of our estrogen, but sharing can be so helpful. I just cannot get excited in the least about sex. I’m 65, my husband is 64 and still finds me attractive, which is nice, but it’s tough to keep putting him off. He tries to understand and I don’t feel guilty. It’s just another limiting side effect I suppose. Thanks for listening!

[luckysmom13]

Same here since my diagnosis of MBC. Partly emotional (lack of desire) and physical (dryness, tightness) for me.

[JustmeMary]

I’m 57 and feel exactly the same as you. I feel bad about it but it’s just not there anymore ever since taking Letrozole and Ibrance. Apparently another lovely side effect….doesn’t seem fair. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[blms]

Im with you on this subject. I just could care less. Guess it is hard on the husbands, oh well

[debbiedo2063]

HiCan totally relate to that. My husband is 70 and I am 57 so it’s not too bad as he cannot be bothered either most of the time but I think our relationship is stronger than ever even though intimacy is a lot less. There are times I grieve at the loss of those exciting feelings through lack of oestrogen, side effects etc and get angry at MBC and what is has robbed me of but then I get over that and I am grateful I am here. I think it takes a strong couple together to continue to grow together, truthfulness,communication and acceptance is the key to our future happiness for the rest of our lives together. It’s just another part of living with MBC but at least we are living the best way we can each day. Hope others can relate to how I feel.

Love Debra xxx🥰

[Nocillo]

Yes, I agree! Thanks for your response!

[Adele_Julia]

I'm 57 and my husband is 56. Same here. I'm on Ibrance/Faslodex ER/PR+ Her2-. On top of that I have an open tumor on my right boob. So it's hard to feel sexy when this thing "talks" to me daily. Hubby knows I don't have the same drive as I used to for obvious reasons and he has to see the tumor himself, but I do admit, I make a concerted effort from time to time. It takes longer as my head is not into the game, but I don't regret the times I try. Sometimes though (laughing), I had him a tube of lubricant and say "Just do it". LOL.

[Nocillo in reply to Adele_Julia]

Humor definitely helps! Thanks for your response.

[Shelly1009 in reply to Adele_Julia]

Haha, I could have written this, lol!! Other than the "talking" boob Thank gawd we can find some humor in this shit show we call our lives!!

[Andibo]

I hear ya. I just don't have much desire at all. I have weight gain from my meds and so many fricking scars, I feel less than attractive. But the biggest issues was the dryness for me. I am going to try Replens so we will see how that works.

[Nocillo in reply to Andibo]

Thanks for your response. It’s good to know I’m not the only one struggling!

[Missmaddie615]

Same here! I’m 57 and my husband is 58. My desire has decreased and the dryness is awful! My husbands desire has decreased too. He is having a difficult time dealing with my MBC diagnosis, emotionally and mentally. Hubby is such a wonderful and caring man, and I see the pain in his eyes as he sees what I have to go through with this disease. It has taken such a toll on him. Also, I have a tumor on my sternum that causes me pain. He’s afraid that the gyrations from sex would cause me to be in more pain, which it does, when we do “do it”, but I don’t tell him that. Now I’m on a different line of treatment, and pooping my brains out -I don’t think he wants to get anywhere near me! LOL!

[Nocillo in reply to Missmaddie615]

Thanks for your response! It’s tough to see the pain and fright in the husband’s eyes for sure.

[SlowSlowSlow in reply to Missmaddie615]

You sound a very loving and close couple. Desire may come and go but your love for each other is evident.

[Missmaddie615 in reply to SlowSlowSlow]

We’ve been married for 33 years. The Lord has truly blessed me with the most wonderful husband! Thanks for your kind words!

[Antares12]

Same here. Mine started with my first diagnosis of stage 2 breast cancer. Dryness and tightness take away any pleasure. I just don't have the desire for it anymore. I'm 64.

[Nocillo in reply to Antares12]

I hear you!

[hopenowandtomorrow]

Ditto to all the responses! In addition, I have 2 painful fractures in my pelvic area. It hurts a lot without without even moving. I feel sorry for my husband but he seems to understand. I’m 63 & he is 68. Feeling less feminine & attractive are one of the many losses we don’t typically talk about with this MBC diagnosis.

🙏❤️🙏

[Nocillo in reply to hopenowandtomorrow]

Thanks for your reply. It’s true the topic isn’t often brought up. I wanted to find out what others were feeling because it’s such a private problem no one talks about

[SlowSlowSlow]

So reassured to know it’s not just me. My husband is very understanding but I just can’t physically or mentally perform. I’ve resigned myself to this - not sure he has though!

Thanks for talking about it!

[Nocillo in reply to SlowSlowSlow]

Thanks for your reply! It’s just something that doesn’t go away and my husband is very good about it, but it’s like certain days it just hangs in the air and I can’t stand that. Exactly, I’ve resigned myself too, but he’s still hopeful 🤣🤣

[Arisgram]

58 and been dating my 68 year old guy for 5 years. He has the sex drive of a 14 year old boy and I that of a 300 year old corpse. Ugh. I've finally gotten him to stop trying for intercourse but that doesn't dampen his enthusiasm. I just want to hide under the bed, but he's so good to me. I try to pretend to be slightly interested. Just another MBC casualty.

[Nocillo in reply to Arisgram]

Exactly! Thanks for your response.

[Tazi127]

My husband died suddenly before any cancer diagnosis. It's been 12 years. I can only say. Yuck!!! Don't care don't want it!!! I'm 66. My friends talk about missing sex. I feel 😅

[Tazi127 in reply to Tazi127]

I feel relieved...( Post got cut off)... What has been strange is that if I even think about wanting to date this issue is probably going to crop up. So that holds me back from even wanting to date anybody. Anyway I just wanted to put my two cents in I guess I have no desire either I'm on brands and letras all as well since December 2020

[Tazi127 in reply to Tazi127]

Ibrance and letrazole.. geesh

[Iwasborntodothis]

I recommend Haylo Gyn (they ship direct and monthly) it’s not gross or goopy for dryness and Uberlube for sex for same reason. When you are off the letrozole and Ibrance you will feel better in this regard and move on to a new set of sh&t yay cancer!