Thankful

[Blessedwarrior]

I am thankful that I found this community. It has been so helpful to see that I’m not crazy and others are having similar symptoms. I wish we didn’t need this forum no one should have to hear the word cancer. Thank you all for posting and discussing I have found it so helpful. God bless us all on our hard road we have to face.

[Hidden]

Hello,

I am thankful for this site too! There is a lot to be thankful for as many of us are responding well to treatment and are still able to function. When I was diagnosed last March I considered packing in my business, as I didn't see how I could ever have a normal life again. But my oncologist encouraged me to keep working, and I have! I'm glad I took her advice. I haven't thanked her for that, but I intend to when I see her next month.

I have known so many people who have had cancer over the years. Cancer treatment has definitely improved over the years, which I am really grateful for. A cancer diagnosis no longer means a death sentence for those of us who have metastatic cancer. I view this disease more as a life sentence (a very long life!) It's something I am living with until the day a cure is found for us all.

Take care,

Sophie ❤

[mariootsi in reply to Hidden]

Well put Sophie!

[Hidden in reply to mariootsi]

Thanks, Marianne! x

[Kimr2081 in reply to Hidden]

Your posts are always so uplifting. Thanks always for sharing and especially your recipes. I would like to share recipes unfortunately I hate to cook. Thank God for my husband.

[Hidden in reply to Kimr2081]

Hi Kim!

That is so kind of you to say so! I haven't always enjoyed cooking. I used to be a disaster area when I was being taught to cook in school. I once put an electric kettle on a gas stove and I wasn't allowed to leave the school kitchen until I had scrubbed a pan clean that I had burned.

My husband is a good cook. What we tend to do is cook large batches of food and then freeze the food into single serving sizes. So that way we're not eating the same meal three nights on the trot! It also cuts down on waste. We have agreed to not go shopping for another month (except for things like milk and fruit and vegetables) so that we can use up what we have in our cupboards, fridge and two freezers.

Sophie ❤

[Kimr2081 in reply to Hidden]

That's a good idea because we end up eating the same thing over and over. And I am trying to eat more plant based so lot's of salads or a plate of veggies - gets boring. I am going to try freezing meals. Thanks for the tip.

[Hidden in reply to Kimr2081]

Hi Kim,

Thanks! It works for us. It's just the two of us in the house, so cooking for two is a challenge anyway! We sometimes share our food with my dad and brother, who live a few doors away from us.

I try to change things up a bit. I love salads, fruit and vegetables, but if I eat the same thing all the time I get bored. Last night I looked at what I had left in the fridge (half a pepper, some broccoli and a handful of mushrooms) and just made a simple stir fry with some onion powder and garlic powder. I can have that with some noodles later or on its own.

Sophie ❤

[Have-faith in reply to Hidden]

Wow. So March will be one year for you since your DX. I am glad for you that you kept working because like you said, we can live years with this. I had no choice but to keep working as I need the insurance, but working also helps me keep living with a purpose if this makes sense. Sure. Like everyone else I get tired, but I try to pace myself. Mu on used to ask me often if I was tired. I would ask her back, "Are you tired?" I work full time and commute an hour each way. Let's not give the cancer credit for making me tired, or all the credit to meds. I am 53 and with the drugs the hormones have been toyed with and will also make us tired. So... between us girls I think while the meds can make us tired the other factors in my life probably do too. I was never 53 before to compare notes, but I hear as we age we naturally have less energy! Also, I still run around like a nut and stay up layer than I should. Hmmmm... ba humbug to Cancer.

[Hidden in reply to Have-faith]

Hi Faith,

Yes, I'm coming up to the first anniversary of my diagnosis, on 19th March. I keep thinking about how "normal" my life was at that time. The closer I get the more I think about the chain of events that led to my diagnosis. I should plan something nice on that day so I don't have time to wallow.

I hear you about the tiredness. I was suffering a lot from fatigue at first but like you I learned to pace myself and rest. I feel fine now with very little tiredness. I think learning your limitations and saying no are important. Exercising and working helps a lot too.

Take care,

Sophie ❤

[Have-faith in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sophie. So my one year mark of hearing my DX was a year ago October 31, Halloween. I didnt know what to feel that day. Halloween will never be the same. A weird thing happened the Halloween I got the bad call from the onc. I work downtown, NYC. We were right next to where a terrorist had crashed his truck after wiping out many pedestrians along the walkway that runs along the west side of NY. My building had to shelter neighbors on the street and we were in lock down. When police told us we were free to go it was minutes later I got the call from the onc. Several people had just died and many injured by this terrorist. When I got the call I couldn't understand how I avoided the terrorist situation (timing and luck not being there during my break) and here I got this terrible diagnosis. God has a plan. I dont always understand it. Of course during testings that followed the DX there were times I wondered why I could not have just been wiped out quickly by the terrorist and avoided all this mental, physical and financial torture we go thru. I am usually a positive person, but these thoughts are normal in this situation. I now see cancer as a wakeup call. Take time for yourself, enjoy life as much as you can and keep.things in perspective. Cancer is a wake up call. Now a year later I see cancer at the moment for me as a chronic disease. I focus on the positive and am grateful I can still work and have insurance. I am still up and breathing and aware. It could always be worse. Clearly the cancer was in me for a few years before being DX. I was living fine at that point. I am not going to let the mental angst cancer can cause ruin my days and the fatigue, well I will manage myself. Before cancer I didn't. This maybe why my immune system failed me. Cancer is my wake up call. Of course I would like to hit the snooze button, but life goes on. Everyday is a day where we can get great news. Don't stop believing.

[Hidden in reply to Have-faith]

Hi Faith,

What a dreadful situation you faced with that terrorist attack right there on your doorstep! I am so sorry to hear that. We have had several terrorist attacks here in the UK too in recent years, as well as other parts of Europe. When I was growing up, there were regular terrorist attacks here on the mainland from the IRA, so for the longest time I was too afraid to visit Northern Ireland or the Republic of Ireland.

It is normal to have these negative thoughts go through your mind. I still remember waiting to have a mammogram after I found a lump (which actually wasn't a lump. It was just a spot that went away, but that's what alerted the doctors to the tumour). I spotted a friend in the waiting room who was also there for a mammogram. She has a family history of breast cancer, so she is seen every year. She suffers from anxiety when it comes time to have a mammogram. When she came over for coffee on Monday she was telling me how she was anxious about her next mammogram in March. I bit my lip, but I wanted to tell her that March will be a year since my diagnosis and at least she doesn't have cancer. But that would have been unkind, so I kept my thoughts to myself.

When it comes to the "snooze button" that you mentioned, I think we can all reach for that too. My goal is NED or radical remission. I know it's possible!

Take care,

Sophie x

[Have-faith in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sophie. Your friend does know you have MBC? I am sure she is scared for herself and was just expressing this. Tou mentioned she suffers from anxiety. No harm intended. We are just very sensitive now to alot. We notice things we would not have before.

By the way, the biting your lip....yup. I have bitten mine alot. Especially when my 80 year old mom who doesn't know I have mbc complains about, "all her doctor appointments," and how I have no idea what it is like to sit in doctor offices. Yeah..... my mom is in great shape but knowing my situation would destroy a part of her so I didn't tell her. I plan on outliving her. Granted her family lives way up in the 90's so she has a long life in front of her. I, like you are bank 8k b on NED, radical remission or a cure! Miracles happen and anything is possible!

Yes. The IRA. I heard a lot about them as my mom is British so even though we are living in NY we were very tuned into the news in England.

My experience with the lockdown and then minutes later the doctor's call was very surreal. It felt like an out of body experience.

Got to get my zzzzz's in.

Good night

Faith

[Hidden in reply to Have-faith]

Morning Faith,

I had to have a think about your question because I don't think my friend actually knows I have metastatic breast cancer. When a group of us girls got together last summer we were talking about cancer. This friend's daughter had skin cancer, which she recovered from, and another friend's husband had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer. (He and I have been comparing notes and supporting each other). She was terrified of it spreading to his bones or elsewhere. Then I piped up and said it had spread to my bones, but the disease was being managed and was under control. So yes, three friends heard that my disease had spread, but I don't think any of them cottoned on to what I was actually saying, if that makes sense. I am so happy and joyful a lot of the time that a boulder could fall on my head and my only complaint would be that my hair had been messed up!

I try not to be too sensitive, as I know a lot of people suffer from anxiety and other issues. But it can be a bit annoying at times when people who are in good health have a minor ailment and then act as if they are dying or they think they must know what it's like to have this disease. They don't know unless they have it themselves. I thought I knew what cancer was all about, as my mum had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, but it's a lot different when you are the one facing the oncologist and having cannulas stuck into you, blood drawn and so on.

I hear you about your mum! My dad is a pensioner too and he was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure. He hasn't stopped going on about having to take medication, or his visits to the clinic or doctor for blood tests and to check his blood pressure. I know it is a challenge, as my mum also had high blood pressure and we helped her manage her condition. I had to remind him that bad health comes to us all at some point, and look at me! I have cancer. I also didn't tell my dad the full extent of my situation. He was devastated when I told him I had cancer, as his thoughts went back to my mum, who died back in 2004. He was scared of the prospect of losing me too. A little girl was killed last summer at a nearby beach we visited when she fell off a trampoline. He mentioned how it would be the worst thing in the world to lose a child, so I knew then that it would break his heart to tell him. I do not relish the idea of losing my dad, but it would be a kindness for him to die first. But in the meantime, I am sure a cure will come.

That's interesting to hear about your mum! Whereabouts in the UK is she from? I'm from Suffolk. My husband is American, from Montana, but he was granted Indefinite Leave to Remain after we moved back to the UK in 2012.

Enjoy your day! I'm just beginning mine.

Sophie x

[Have-faith in reply to Hidden]

Hi Sophie. My mom grew up in Shepheds Bush, London. She came over on the Queen Mary with her best friend. The idea was to work 6 months as secretaries and then return. My dad saw mom across the subway platform everyday. He told his friend he was going to marry her one day. This came true. So as a kid growing up my mom used to tell me not to speak to strangers on the subways. I always found this confusing as this was how she met dad. They were married just shy of 60 years. Many times I thought they should have divorced! That generation doesn't divorce and there were tough times. I also think my mom felt she had nowhere to turn. As a result we are super close.

Being at a lawyers meeting after my dad passed the lawyer mentioned having backups on my moms will in case something happened to me. My mom declared it would kill her if anything happened to me. Yikes. I am determined to not have my mom see me sick. NED here I come!

On my way to work....got to run.

I do feel like I have pen pals on this site. It is very nice. Just would be better if mbc was not why we all met.

[Hidden in reply to Have-faith]

Hi Faith,

Thanks for telling me about your mum. My oldest brother was born in Islington, which is also in London. He and my parents moved to Suffolk in the 1970s during the London overspill, when the city was getting crowded and many families relocated to the country, and that's where my middle brother and I were born. It's getting crowded again. The population is over 8 million! I wouldn't want to live there. It's nice to head down there for a visit sometimes to see the sites or to visit family, but I am happy to get back home again! How your parents met sounds really romantic. Maybe your mum meant she didn't want you to speak to strangers at the subway in case you were abducted.

I can see why the lawyer would want a backup. They have to cover all their bases. My husband and I are both executors for my dad's will, but we know that if I go first, my husband will be able to take care of things. My dad adores him and views him as his third son. Speaking of wills, I really need to execute one. I have been putting it off. Right after I was diagnosed I drafted a will, along with a list of bequests, made it clear what I wanted for my funeral, and I wrote a few farewell letters. I also planned to make a list of companies and organisations to contact in the event of my death (how to cancel a driving licence, passport, and so on) but I didn't get round to doing that. I just wanted to make things easier on my husband if it were to happen, as he is American and is not overly familiar with how these things are done in the UK.

I like the idea of pen pals too. I am not glad I have this disease by any stretch of the imagination, but I have gained so much since I found out about it and that is something I am really happy about.

Right, I'd better make a move. I'm meeting my husband soon after work. Then we are off out for dinner.

Sophie x

[mariootsi]

Welcome we are here to support, encourage and listen. This site is a Godsend for me and hopefully for you! Love, Marianne