My daughters 30th birthday: I first had... - SHARE Metastatic ...

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My daughters 30th birthday


I first had breast cancer 24 years ago when one of my daughters was 6 the other was 2

I wanted to live to see the millennium as I thought they would remember me if the worst happened

Although I now have mbc..I never thought I would see her 30th birthday..out tonight for a celebratory meal..looking on the bright side

Had a little cry earlier!!

Barb xx

37 Replies

Here’s a big hug. We all need a good cry from time to time ‘cause look at the $h!t pile we’re in!!!! I thought today not only do I have a full time job at work and the job of running a household (ok husband does do laundry on weekends), but I have the job of having cancer. It is a full time occupation dealing with mbc. You go celebrate your daughter’s birthday full tilt. Then plan on celebrating her 40th and do something special for you. I think we really know what it means to live life like you mean it. The worried well, most of them, have no idea of what that really means. Congratulations on reaching this milestone. It took superhuman powers to get through it all. You rock! 💫

Oh thank you have cheered me up!!

I’m in a crying phase at the moment and feeling sorry for me..just put a frock on and straightened my hair ( at least I still have some!!)

Will slap some make up on and put a smile on my face!!

Thank you for hug

Hugs to you too

Barb xx

When I was diagnosed with Stage 2 in 2004, our daughter was 8 years old. I hoped I’d see her graduate high school. She finished high school and college before it returned as Stage 4. So, I have a sense of how you feel. She’s 22 now and really spreading her wings. You earned your momma stripes!

My son is 20, only child , and he is my strength ...glad you are here for her, and her accomplishments... I’m not ready to leave him ❤️....god willing🙏🏻 You rock !!’

I think we all need to cry once and son brings that out of me the most.. I would love to see his children.. hope to be here for that... enjoy your daughters is an emotional ride with and without Cancer. Sending you a big hug❤️ Stay strong ❤️ Your life is priceless❤️

Crazydentist in reply to jtgmom

Thank you so much...I’m glad I’m not the only one to dissolve into tears occasionally..sometimes it’s the slightest thing..I’ve always been emotional anyway befor this horrid girls used to laugh at me crying in movies esp Black Beauty!!!

Hugs to you too

Barb xx

jtgmom in reply to Crazydentist

Same here..very emotional person..I think we need to be sad, so when happy things happen we appreciate it more....and there are movies I’v seen hundreds of times I still cry to....strength through tears ❤️❤️❤️

Crazydentist in reply to jtgmom

So true

Barb xx

How wonderful! Make it a great celebration!

Hi Harriet

Thank you..we had a lovely evening.. my other daughter couldn’t come as in Copenhagen at the moment so Vanessa has flown out this morning to see her!! They do get about!!

All the best to you

Barb xx

Barb, I’m so happy to hear! Sometimes you need a good cry to get it out. Then it opens you up to power forward with all we deal with on a daily basis. Keep on fighting!!


I hope you had 2 large ones this time!You have earned the right to have emotional moments, especially celebrating something you thought you would never see.

I echo all the lovely comments sent to you. I bet your girls are super proud of you.


Hi Gigi

Thank you for that..yes I had a few drinks!!.. it’s what I deserve!!

All best wishes to you and all the lovely ladies who communicate on this site..we are special

Barb xx

Did you all know that tears of emotion are different chemically than tears from something like chopping onions? One reason we often feel better after a good cry is that the tears have carried some "sad" enzymes from our brains! Enough of science--I have certainly had alot of good cries since I've had this lousy cancer! Some hitting things bursts, too! When I am super ticked off about how lousy I feel, I pound on a pillow or throw it around. If I'm alone, I sometimes sing about how awful it all is--and really exaggerate til it makes me giggle and feel somewhat better. I think a person would really have to be crazy to not have sad, anxious, angry, whatever negative, feelings at times! When I was first diagnosed, with bone mets found during initial staging, I felt as though I had been kicked in the gut with a steel toed shoe! And our kids sure make us want (and need!) to live for years! I was 39 when my own mother died of lung cancer---I always joked that it sure took the focus off turning 40! Now my own daughter is 52 and I still want to be here to see more of what she does and how her 20 year old step daughter moves into adulthood.

SeattleMom in reply to PJBinMI

Loved this post!!👍❤️

blms in reply to PJBinMI

When a mother always a mother!! They always need us and the greatest Pain is thinking and knowing what they will go through if we leave them . So plan for your future!

Gram10 in reply to blms

I get very emotional when I think not only of my children but my grandchildren. Since I babysit the 3 youngest (9, 7, 2 ) two days a week, they are very close to me. The 7 year old always hugs me and says "don't go Grammie" when it is time for me to go. It is hugs and kisses all day from the little guy. I can't imagine how they would feel if I wasn't there for them.

Crazydentist in reply to Gram10

It breaks your heart!!!

Just try and not dwell on this..very hard though..I haven’t got grandchildren but it would be nice to be around to see maybe’re very lucky to be there for them and they obviously love you a great deal

Love Barb xx

Gram10 in reply to Crazydentist

I'm going to stay strong for them and myself. Thank you for your response. Prayers and positive thoughts for all of us.


Had a little cry last night—scans are Monday and I’m nervous. Celebrate! And celebrate every day. Many advances and research—-next will be her 50th birthday!

Me too! Next scan is Thursday. I’ll send up prayers Monday! 👍❤️

blms in reply to Snowcone16

The build up to scans are terrifying!! You are not alone !! Please let me know.

I was terrified before my June scan and the day if scan I was at peace! I wish you peace!

Thank you for posting this.

When I got my bc diagnosis 2 years ago and then the mbc this year all I could think of was that I wasn't going to be around for my kids, who despite being 20 and 22 still need me. My husband lost his mum to bc when he was 25 and I don't think he has ever really got over it. The thought of doing the same to my son and daughter was unbearable. But this forum has shown me that things have changed so much in recent years. My oncologist told me to think of it as a chronic disease and having heard the stories of so many wonderful women on this site I am now starting to believe him!

I can fully understand the reason for the tears! :-)

They’ll always be our babies no matter how old..I can’t even bear to think of leaving them..

It’s very tough this b......d cancer diagnosis

Barb xx

It's the only thing that makes me cry :-) but we aren't going to leave them! Who would pick up the dirty socks if we aren't here! :-) jxx

Lol..make them pick up their own socks!!

Barb xx

I really don't think there is any possibility of getting to that stage but I continue to live in hope! :-))))) jxx

Party on!

Great Crazy Dentist. You have done so well. Inspiring to me. Thanks for sharing.

Every milestone is such a miracle for us. Congratulations and let’s keep on going!

You give us all hope that we will have a long time to enjoy our family. I just had a new granddaughter that my son has been trying for 10 yrs to have. So lucky I was here to see her. I guess hoping to see the next milestone in our family is what keeps us going. I was diagnosed 2 yrs ago and never thought I would still be here. This site opens a world of information to us. Three weeks ago my husband had a car accident. Did not get hurt. But testing to be sure a ct scan found a brain tumor. His head hit the side window on the tumor. But we were lucky he had brain surgery to remove it and is doing very well. I need to be strong now as he is weak and will need lots of doctor visits and rides to physical therapy. I have a reason to move on and push myself to get him everywhere. But we are both still here and moving on. Sure you will be here to see some grandchildren too. Thank you for giving me hope.


Oh dear you’re having some ups and downs in your life..super news about a new granddaughter how gorgeous

Poor hubby hope he does well with his treatments

None of us are immune to disease!

Carpe Diem

Barb xx

Enjoy the celebration, well deserved!!!! U sound like an amazing person. Be well and stay strong.

Congrats on your daughters 30th birthday, my daughter has a birthday next week she will be 13. I hope and pray to see her turn 30. I love this site y'all give me hope and a reason to fight for a cure. I also have a son who turned 8 in june, I thank God for letting me celebrate his birthday.

Crazydentist in reply to kduck

I hope and pray you will..we’re living in an age were so much research and new drugs are coming out so living for years and years is not improbable..need a cure now!!!

Barb xx



With you on this as well. My first diagnosis I was 48., and very fertile! Had a 16, 7,5 and 2 year old at home. I think when you gave those responsibilities you just do snd go on for them. That’s all good! 20 years after stage 3 I allowed cancer back into my body. Now I’m working hard to get back to remission!

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