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a roller coaster that you don't want tickets for

I was diagnosed in December 2017 with stage 2B lobular breast cancer. After a left breast mastectomy in January 2018, chemo, and radiation, the cancer has metastasized to my bones... Any advice on how to weather this new development?

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Stay on this website for encouragement and love. Have faith in your Drs and God and stay strong. It is truly a shock to receive this diagnosis. It shakes you to your core but we are all still here and have this wonderful community to run all our questions by and connect to. You are not alone! Hugs!

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My To Do List:

- Get the best doctors

- Follow their advice

- Focus on small goals (ie. Eat healthy, exercise)

- Prioritize your life based on your values

- Practice Mediation, Yoga, Tia chi , etc daily

- Get a massage, facial, pedicure or manicure

- Get a psychologist

- Join a support group

- Slow down ie work less hours, cook less meals

- Make time for friends and family

- spend time with nature

- pray and have others pray for you

- review finances, long term disability, long term care, will and insurance, etc

- start a bucket list and go do it

- seek joy in each day

- if you live alone, downsize and move in with family or friends

- don’t be afraid to ask for help

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Hello, Oilermama,

You are asking the question that all of us are all too familiar with: How do you manage this terrible news and not allow it to take over your life?

I got my MBC diagnosis in November, 2017, when--after 17 years from initial BC diagnosis--I discovered a lump under my right breast which subsequently showed a great deal of spread to my spine and one of my pelvic bones. Just like me, I imagine you have already experienced the initial shock and grief over this news.

My treatment began with ten rounds of radiation. In December, I started a protocol that includes ibrance and letrozole. I hope that you are able to try this combo; it seems to be one of the ongoing success stories in MBC treatment.

Although none of us, at least at this point in cancer research, can be labeled "curable," I would emphasize that you do become accustomed to this misfortune and learn to live a life that is reasonably close to the one you had before diagnosis. Despite episodes of feeling very tired, having monthly checkups where I typically find that my white cell count is below normal, and experiencing periodic joint pain, my side effects are all manageable.

Please know that all of us feel compassion toward one another and that this is such an unbelievably supportive and encouraging group to stay connected to. It has helped me so much sharing information and learning from these wonderful women (and men) who provide insight on their treatments. May God bless you on this journey! Linda

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Exactly my sentiments. It truly is our new normal, and little things panic me that I think cancer has returned, but day to day it's not right in front of me , life is. My friend calls it my detour, and that's how I look at it. When people ask I say yes I had a detour but I've survived and managing.

Research has been amazing, and it seems like new meds are developing each day. My emotions can be be up and down, but more up than down.

Seattle Mom and Hihif hit the mark with their comments.

Be well! God bless you all.

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Its Mimiholl again. A week ago I was nearly in a massive accident. My first thought was I survived cancer and now I'm going to b killed in an automobile accident. No one knows when our time is up. Enjoy every days , cry in the shower when you need to, and come out smiling.

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SUCH GREAT ADVICE, MIMI!! Made my day!! XO Linda

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My prayers and blessings to you. Be strong and God will guide you.

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Make sure you can talk to your oncologist about everything. Many of us go through stages of anger and/or depression and plain fright. It is debilitating but here there is so much good support to back up your doctors, just talking about it with people who are going through the same thing is so empowering.

Hope you do well on your new protocol - there is so much out there being developed - may we be able to access it and benefit.

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It gets better...I look back at my first 3 months dealing with dx. I didn’t realize it during the moment but looking back—those were dark moments. Faith, humor and attitude. For me, surrounding myself w positive and hopeful people. 🤗

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I echo SeattleMom and others. I would add: take care of everything you need to take care of that you can control (paperwork, will, etc.) , and then leave it behind and try not to worry about things that may happen in the future that you can't control anymore. If I were to worry about things I can't control, it would take time away from enjoying today. And today there's NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT things I can't control, and worrying about them won't accomplish anything. It takes practice to do this, but it helps me. I do sometimes slip into worrying about something I can't control, but I realize it, and then try to "snap out of it." Best of luck to you!

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Hello Oilermama,

First of all, I have never liked rollercoasters! I am the type of person who screams on the teacup rides!

You are not alone. Learning you have metastatic breast cancer is life changing in every possible way. Your life will never be the same again, but that does not mean to say your life is over. My oncologist told me I have "many years" ahead of me and that my condition would now be considered a chronic illness (I was initially told it was early stage and could be cured). I can handle that now that I have had time to process it, as I have a routine of treatment, but still carry on as normal with work and so forth.

I listen to my oncologist, the advice of my GP, oncology nurses and I am also looking into complementary therapies. Do what you can to control areas of your life that are manageable, such as your finances, eating a healthier diet, exercise, surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family, and try to maintain a positive attitude. I also find this site really encouraging, as I can talk to others who are going through the same as I am. That's so helpful!

Take care,

Sophie x

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Sorry that you’ve joined this ride. Similar journey with my original stage 2 dx in April 2016. Stage 4 in January 2018. Circle yourself with positive people and positive stories. Being happy sometimes needs to be a good habit just like being negative can become a bad habit.

Control what you can iE food, exercise, faith. I read online stories and books about radical remission and spontaneous healing. But, I had a less than stellar scan 10 days ago. Took my about 8 days to process it. Allow your time to process but visualize brushing off and standing back up. The darkness is temporary—sun comes in the morning.

Yesterday, my hair stylist (of all people) shares two really positive stories of survival. One client had metastasized everywhere. Changed her meds a couple times and now she has been clear and stable a few years. The other was her grandmother with ovarian—given 6 months and went on 20 years!

This board is a huge support and lifeline too. ❤️❤️

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I read what the other folks said, and I can't add any more; they did a great job in sharing what needed to be shared. I will continue to pray for myself and all others here, on this journey. Stay connected.

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