Heartahe

[Codeblack7]

I have a sad post. I live with my 91 year old Mother. She is self sufficient but has armd and glaucoma. She is now in ICU on a ventilator and positive for this virus. She never wanted to be on any machine. This virus took us to a whole other level. I have her durable power of attorney for health care. I could not let her struggle to breathe. I was receiving radiation for my breast cancer and I probably brought it home. I could use some prayers please. Visitors are not allowed in the hospital. She has never been in the hospital without me. We haven't seen her now for 9 days. I will take all the prayers I can get.

[WBaca1]

Keeping you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong - we’re all here for you.

[Ditzy60]

The biggest of virtual hugs, what an impossible situation to be in, my prayers are for you and your mum xx

[Knapweed]

Sending a prayer - and dont tell yourself you gave her the virus, so many ways it can get into a home.... thinking of you

[Codeblack7 in reply to Knapweed]

Thank you!

[Chick44nzrn]

Hello . You must be feeling very upset and stressed at present but your mother will have such love for you and confidence in you that will never change no matter what the circumstances. Stay strong ; sending you love and best wishes . Kia kaha

Denise x

[Codeblack7 in reply to Chick44nzrn]

Thank you!

[Rhwright12]

Sending prayers for your mom 🙏🏻💕 Remember the oldest to recover so far was 104! She can beat this...praying for God to heal her...

[Codeblack7 in reply to Rhwright12]

Thank you !

[stayblessed]

Hi,

Sorry to hear this. It will be ok. I pray that you will have peace and tranquility at this trying time

You will come through this difficult time to be able to smile again

[SeattleMom]

I cannot even imagine your devastation. I lost my mom in August (age 96) and miss her every day. Now I thank God that He brought her home before this painful scourge circled the earth.

I pray that your mom survives and comes home to you. I pray that you might be comforted knowing that this is not your fault. Who knows which of us will unwittingly touch or inhale this bug through a simple trip to the grocery, let alone a necessary medical appointment.

Both your mom and you are in my prayers. God bless you today and always. 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️

Linda

[Codeblack7 in reply to SeattleMom]

Thank you Linda. I remember when you spoke of your Mother. From your posts I can tell that your Mother was special.

[Paradise43]

My prayers to you and Mom, dear heart.

[PJBinMI]

Oh, my, such a really painful situation to be in! To not be able to be with your mother in the hospital sounds like a true version of Hell to me! So hard! Is there anyway you can record your voice saying loving things to her and have that delivered to her and played by the hospital staff? Or other tech way of getting your voice into her room. I am younger than your mother (74) and have had a durable power of attorney for health care for much longer than I have had mbc (diagnosed with mets from the start in 2004, over 16 years ago.) What I have told my family is that I would want to be on a vent, or whatever, in a crisis til I am stabilized, but if I will not be coming home, to take me off of it. Do you think your mother thought something like that? Any chance of a discussion between you, family and one of her doctors to discuss what is likely to be the outcome if she stays on the vent or if she is removed? I'm a retired Episcopal priest and have spent alot of time with people in their final hours, minutes, seconds, and have gotten past my own fears of dying. You are in such a difficult place! I hope you are surrounded by love and support and people who love you and your mother. Nobody would ever choose to be going thru what you are facing! Know alot of us here want to b e here for and with you and send love and prayers.

[Codeblack7 in reply to PJBinMI]

Thank you for your kind words. To me this was a crisis like you mentioned. This community is a blessings!

[worldtravel75]

if she had a statement saying that she didn't want to be put on a vent - why did the hospital do this?

[Codeblack7 in reply to worldtravel75]

Hello mom didn't have a living will. I am her power of attorney for healthcare. My Father died at age 71 from cancer and Mom made the decision to make him a DNR from discussions they had together. For 4 days she had flu symptoms and I watched her oxygen level. Her saturations started to go to 88%. She was taken to the emergency room and given high flow oxygen. Her condition started to improve. Last Friday I was called and told she was struggling to breath and required intubation and short term ventilator assistance (hopefully.)since I could not see or talk to her I agreed after hearing from my siblings. She is a self sufficient 91 year old who used to walk a 15 min mile. There was nothing about this situation that was black and white. I took care of my 54 year sister who died from cancer and was present with her when she died. I could not stand the thought of our Mother dying alone. I was told there are people who can come off of the ventilator with this virus. I have never left her alone in a hospital. There are many families in this situation and they need prayers and support.

[worldtravel75 in reply to Codeblack7]

Sending you lots of love and hugs. I am so very sorry

[SeattleMom in reply to Codeblack7]

Read this morning that docs are discovering that patients are better served with lower level pumps from intubation. Excessive oxygen can send immune system into overdrive. You may want to discuss this with your mom’s ICU doc. ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻

[Codeblack7 in reply to SeattleMom]

Thank you. At first she was on some type of adapter per cannula with 10 liters. On the vent she gets down to 40% and a peep of 10. They want to lower the peep at least to 7. If I was in with her I could see and ask questions.

[SeattleMom]

Sounds like they have it under control. 🙏🏻❤️

[Cu4281]

So sorry. 🙏🙏🙏🤝

You must carry on and take care of yourself right now. Mom knows you are with her in heart. I took care of my Mom her last several years. She had health issues and passed in2007. It is hard and going thru this time with COVID 19 is just an extra layer. You have to do self care now. Your Mom would want that. 🙏🙏🙏 Be safe

[Codeblack7 in reply to Cu4281]

Thank you for your kind words.