I Hate Breast Forms!

I'm getting tired of wearing breast prostheses every day. I have several different styles of pocket bras & breast forms. They annoy me. (I'm 65 now, my breasts were on the small size.)

I'm flat as an ironing board and have a little bit of a belly so clothing does look a bit odd when I'm not wearing a form. I try to wear embellished tops, prints, camouflaged fabrics. I stay away from plain t-shirts.

A girlfriend once said to me that I should have worn prosthesis when I first went out without any, b/c my chest looked so flat.

I feel like wearing just a plain camo under my tops now.

What should I do? Will men be turned off by my flat chest? (I'm single and want to date).

[PJBinMI]

I still do have both breasts so I can't answer from experience, but as a large busted woman who has thought about all this, know that I decided long ago that if I had to have a mastectomy, I would have a double, no reconstruction and would only wear prosthetics for major dress up events, like perhaps going to the White House or the Vatican! I hadn't thought of all your creative apparel choices and I admire you for figuring that out, very clever! About men--any that would turn away because of your flat chest are not worth dating! Really! Weed out the "boys from the men!" Good men pay more attention to who we are than what our chests look like! I wear plain camos more now than I did before cancer. More comfy, easier to put on and take off. I think each of us needs to do what is most comfortable for us--both physically comfortable and emotionally comfortable, comfortable in body, mind and spirit! It just struck me that when I look at another person, face to face, picture, movie, whatever, what I notice is their face, eyes, mouth, expression, not their chest! Kind eyes, sparkling eyes, deep eyes, happy eyes--those will draw others and they won't even notice your chest!

[Hidden in reply to PJBinMI]

So if you still have both of your large breasts, how can you possibly understand what double mastectomy women are going through? You're lucky you don't have to think about creative apparel choices.

[PJBinMI in reply to Hidden]

I certainly did not mean to imply that I do understand what women who have had a double mastectomy are going through! I do remember what I went through when I was first diagnosed, at stage IV when a double mastectomy was still a possibility but I do also know that thinking it through and doing it are two very different things. I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I do want to support you and the choices you have had to make and will continue to have to make. I hope I didn't come across as a know it all or a bossy big sister, as my younger brother often reminds me that I sometimes do.

[Susan1953 in reply to PJBinMI]

I love your attitude. I am 64 and have a wonderful husband so I am sure that makes a difference on how I feel about my breasts. I have one flat breast because 2 tumors were removed that looks really deformed and the other just very small. I wear a padded bra when I go out and no bra at home. That works for me.

[Hidden in reply to Susan1953]

You have a wonderful husband. You are lucky. I have No significant other in my life.

[BklynCatwoman]

Have you tried Awesome Breast Forms? They're hand knitted (or crocheted) with love for free? I had a single mastectomy about 4 years ago and always found the expensive, store- bought ones so heavy and sweaty. These Awesome forms are truly awesome. I've written about them too. Here's the link: awesomebreastforms.org.

As for what men like, I've learned that its important to be comfortable in your new skin. If flat works for you, forget what men think. They'll be attracted to your confidence, first of all. I found that I wanted "something" there, so I got a tattoo. It works for me!

[Hidden in reply to BklynCatwoman]

You know what I think I'm going to do is everyday will wear just plain camis & ribbed t-shirts. If I go out & get dressed up I like the microbead forms. They are very lightweight.

[IGotSunshine]

Hi SeeSwee, I am 67 and have been flat as Kansas for 10 years. For two years before that, I tried every breast form under the sun and every kind of mastectomy cami and bra. None of them were comfortable. Not only did I dislike wearing the "over-the-shoulder-bolster-holders" and the "bolsters," but it felt weird and inconsistent to have boobs in public and be flat in private. It also felt as if I was going through a lot of discomfort so that OTHER people could be comfortable with my appearance. I finally just threw in the towel--and all the boob paraphernalia I had accumulated. I'm sure people notice my flatness, but I've gotten to the point that I really don't care what they think. I do try not to draw attention to my flatness--busy patterns, dark colors, scarves, overshirts--because the details of my anatomy are really no one else's business. And I try to pay attention to my posture so that I don't round my shoulders to obscure my chest. There are a number of resources for women who choose not to reconstruct, like Flat & Fabulous on Facebook, My Flat Friends also on Facebook, breastfree.org, etc. You may find ideas and support in one of those. I wish you well in figuring this out for yourself. There is no paved path. You just have to stumble along ...

[Hidden]

Sunshine,

Thanks for your response. I am ready to stop with all the fake boob paraphernalia as you are. I may wear something on occasion if I'm going out and wearing a nice dress or something. But for every day, I'm going to wear a plain old tank top.

I'm sure most men aren't staring at my chest. If they do, then that's creepy.

[IGotSunshine]

That's the spirit!

[CancerkickerKathy]

I am almost 49. I have decided I no longer care what anyone thinks. I chose reconstruction because I was left with 2 deflated tires for boobs. It was lumpy and I just didn't like it. I requested my reconstruction to be small and I was originally DD. I didn't have nipples done because I want to stay braless. I do have a big belly so at times I feel like I have man boobs and a beer belly. I usually wear tshirts but when I want to look nice I do the more flowy stuff. Like peasant shirts or ones that are smaller on top like maternity clothes. I figure it this way. I fought cancer and so far I have won. If that isn't good enough for a man then he isn't good enough for me. Sorry that was so long winded but hope it helped.