Unseen sacrifice

Although I am more than aware of how much Dad has given to look after Mum something happened this week that makes me realise what true love REALLY is. It's those little, almost unseen, sacrifices we make for our loved ones.

Mum is no longer able to manage the stairs and, therefore, can't access the bathroom anymore, so we rang the OT and asked them to collect the swivel bather seat which was fitted over the bath. As I helped dad "unfix" it from the bath, ready for collection, he said "Oh well, at I'll be able to have a bath now" and I remembered that he doesn't really like showering and prefers a nice long soak in the bath. He'd gone without one of his little pleasures for over a year. Yesterday I asked him if he'd had a bath yet and he gave a blissful smile and said "Yes, it was smashing!!" :-)

He would do absolutely ANYTHING for Mum, they are both desolate if they have to be separated for any length of time. That's the love that has bonded them for more than 50 years and I'm so grateful to have them as my parents.

8 Replies

  • Hi Kathy,

    That's lovely - it's very comforting to know our parents' love for each other will carry them through this, isn't it? My mum cares for my Dad - she has gone without god knows what for ages now, all to look after Dad.

    Thanks for all your posts - it feels really good to 'chat'.

    Love to your parents and you

    Fran x

  • Thanks Fran,

    Mum and Dad have never been ones for great displays of affection but things like this show love far more powerfully in my opinion!

    Love to you and your Mum and Dad

    Kathy x

  • Hi Kathy....that's love for you !!!!!! While Frank could still manage using the stairlift, we slept upstairs as usual & he had a bathlift. Like your Dad, I was always a bath person so I used to take the bathlift out everytime I wanted a bath & put it back in so Frank could have a bath. Not easy as I have a bad back. We then had a garage conversion done so now sleep downstairs & he has a wetroom. I thought YIPPEE I can now have a bath whenever I want to. Wishful thinking!!!!! Frank has a morning Carer to get him up, showered etc so I have a quick shower while she's here as Frank doesn't like me being away from him for too long. I thought I'd be able to sneak up when he fell asleep but when I tried it, he shouted me just as I was about to get in the bath. Never mind, one day!!!!!!!!!!! Take care & try to keep smiling

    Love Hazel B xx

  • Hi Hazel,

    Dad was worried about being able to re-fit the swivel seat securely enough if he took it out to have a bath - so he left it in place and showered instead. He never once said anything or complained about not being able to have a bath - he just got on with it.He's amazing!

    Love to you and Frank

    Kathy x

  • hi hazel /fran /and


    yes it must be awful havinig to give up the little things like a bath

    i have a large shower in my flat (present when i moved in) and am so thankful it wa s ashower as for the last 3 years i have nto been able to get in and out of a bath

    And i am moogin to a flat downstairs which has a shower-over-bath and shall have to have a bathroom conversion done

    LIke you hazel i have approached the OT and they say i shall have to watin until i am IN the fla until they cna assess me agan!

    so much for my wish to get the work done as quickly as possible!

    love jill and keep smiling1


  • You made me smile - my mother 'gave up ' baths for a year or so before my father's death earlier this year. She too was a bath rather than shower person. I never really thought of it in the way you put it over .

    Once all the equipment was taken away she amde a comment about being able to use some of her lovely bath stuff. - we hadn't really clicked & has carried on giving her bath sets as gifts so she could take relaxing baths. She never once said she wasn't able to take a bath becuase of all the equipment...

  • Hi,

    Like you, it really hadn't occurred to me that Dad might be missing his baths

    :-( he just got on with it without complaining.

    I'm so sorry for your and your Mum's loss earlier this year and hope you have others around you to help you through.

    Love to both of you

    Kathy x

  • This is lovely, I'm so glad you and your Dad have found those precious little moments.

    Keep smiling :-) x

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