Respite care.

[SheilaN]

Following some gentle persuasion from Eddie's community care worker I have booked him in for his first two days of respite care in a couple of weeks and then for a week at the end of October.I am already dreading and looking forward to it at the same time. But I know it will be good for us both and the chance to recharge my batteries is much needed. I fantasise about more sleep!! Within an hour and a half of suggesting some dates the arrangement was made and someone will come here at the end of this week to discuss Eddie's needs. The care worker's own father has stayed there and she tells me there is a real holiday atmosphere and the people there are pampered during their stay. For his first short visit they have even booked him into a room with a big bed so that he doesn't go straight from a double at home to a single. They want him to be as comfortable as possible. I have already visited the place and think he will be very well looked after.But I'm dreading it.I don't really know what's going on in Eddie's mind and how much he understands about anything. Not much I suspect but he can't express himself well at all. But if I tthought he felt I was abandoning him I'd be devastated.

[Idris]

My Mum went into respite care for the first time in January this year. I cried when I left her, and couldn't stop thinking about her for about the first 24 hours! But I have such an intense relationship with her these days, it's good for us both to have a break from each other. And she needs to know that other people are just as capable of caring for her as I am, even if they don't know all her little foibles.

Your worries are totally understandable, but the place you're leaving your husband sounds ideal. As you say, you need to recharge your batteries and it will be better for both of you if you have the energy you need for your caring role. All you can do is keep telling him you love him and will be thinking of him when you're not with him, and trust your instinct that he will be well looked-after in your absence. Enjoy the break!

[SheilaN in reply to Idris]

Thanks for replying Idris. You're right and I'm sure that after the first time it will get easier.

Take care

SheilaN

[LesleyB]

Hi Sheila

Sorry it has taken so long for me to comment. The best experience dad had was when he stayed in a unit that was for respite/short stay. He had gone in for short stay after a fall he had had that lead to Pneumonia and it was just months before he was diagnosed with PSP I cannot say strongly enough how good the staff were with dad and how they monitored him fed back to us if there was enoughing wrong or slightly different in him.

In fact it was whilst he was there his condition deteriorated and like your Eddie he was getting to the point where he couldn't express himself well. The staff were so concerned with the changes they were making sure he was monitored all the time and they gave us feedback every time we went in. It was at this point I went back to the doctors with our concerns of what we had seen and were experiencing and the concerns of the staff. From this we got back in to see dad's geriatrician who had been seeing him for about a year for his falls. With everything we told him he said straight away to us he thought he had a parkinsons plus syndrome and referred us directly to the Neurologist and the rest as they say is history.

Sorry I know I have waffled on but the point of my story was that dad going into short stay was the best thing that happened to him and to me. The staff were people I could trust and more to the point so did Dad. Without their input I don't know how soon or if we would have got a diagnosis. Their care of dad allowed me to 'let go' just a little bit as I knew I could trust them with his care and that they would contact me if there was anything they didn't feel was right.

If I could have kept him there when he had to go permanently into residential and then Nuring Care I would have done with all my heart. I don't know the Respite Care Placement your hubbie is going into but from what you have said it sound really good and I am sure they have the time there to make sure your Eddie is given the best care possible.

Enjoy the break and Take care

Lesley x

[SheilaN in reply to LesleyB]

I really appreciate your thoughts on this Lesley. Now that we have visited the place and one of the staff came here and talked to us I feel much better. They want to make it as much home from home as possible and even suggested Eddie take in his favourite tipple, They gave me a background information sheet to fill in if I wanted to and I did so they will be able to pick up things from it to chat to Eddie about his life. As it gets closer to the day I dread it less but I know I will be upset leaving him. But it will be good for both of us.

Thanks again

Take care

SheilaN

[LesleyB in reply to SheilaN]

Let me know how you get on Sheila I know how worrying it can be.

Stacey, my daughter did a life story book with and for dad which the staff said they found really useful. Take care

Lesley