farewell Sam

[Mamalou59]

My husband is now free. He was diagnosed in 2016 and was spared of covid but PSP finally took him last January 25. He passed peacefully in an unusual setting but Im glad that is is now free from that awful illness which robbed him of his person, his dignity, his life. It was so hard and painful to see him transform from the boss to the passive silent nobody. But Im sure he is happy where he is now. People have dreamed of him dancing freely and laughing after his passing.

This forum was a big help in our journey with PSP. I did not need other doctors or nurses to help me as I assisted him throughout his ordeal. Except when he needed to be admitted for PEG insertions and infections. Every question was answered. I have become familiar with some names who often answered my queries in the early stages of Sam’s PSP. Names with no faces but always willing to offer help. I wish to thank you all for your support. You have been a part of my day for the last 7 years. Please continue to be there to comfort one another. God bless you all!

[Zerachiel]

So sorry for your loss 🫂

[Mamalou59 in reply to Zerachiel]

Thank you Zerachiel.

[Bergenser]

So sorry for your loss, I hope this time is bearable for you, you have been doing an amazing job and I hope happy memories come shining through 🌻🫂

[Mamalou59 in reply to Bergenser]

Thank you. It feels like he has not gone. I would want to remember him as he was before the illness but probably due the long duration all I remember is how he was in his last few years. And that is what I’ m not happy about. He was silent for about 2 years and I dont even remember his voice anymore. This is my regret. That I do not have any recording of his voice when he was still able to speak and sing.

[Bergenser in reply to Mamalou59]

It's hard when the communication goes - I'm lucky that we still have good days but I absolutely understand what you mean. I believe you will find those memories 🤞

[Mamalou59 in reply to Bergenser]

I’m sure it will. Thank you so much… God bless you as ypu care for your loved one. Make precious memories.

[Troubleandstrife]

I am sorry. And I am relieved for you. I know exactly how that feels. I was practically elated when my husband escaped this awful disease. Take good care of yourself. It’s been a hard road.

[Mamalou59 in reply to Troubleandstrife]

Thank you. Im actually confused because I dont feel the grief. I do feel sad when I remember him but that’s about all. Is this normal?

[Dosco]

My wife diagnosed with PSP in 2018 died late November2023. While expected, its still a shock. She was cognitively cogent but could not eat not drink nor speak. It must have been horrible for her. She was a very fit woman who ran and swam every day but died stage 69 with jet black hair.This disease is remorseless and spares no one.

Though I cared for her for 5 years, there's no discount for my grief.

I don't know if any of this helps but acceptance of a loved ones death is a first step to managing grief or stop grieving. I don't know if one actually gets over grief or stops grieving but for now grief is a constant companion.

[Bergenser in reply to Dosco]

I'm sorry for your loss. Your words about acceptance are really important. From caring for my husband I've come to anticipate the future loss and pain, and as you say it doesn't lessen the grief but might make it more nuanced and you become able to live with it. I think the line from "Shadowlands" is something like "the pain then is part if the joy now". 🌻🫂

[Mamalou59 in reply to Dosco]

I am sorry for your loss. It is still quite recent. Praying that you will soon get over the grief.

[Wigwambob]

It is so sad but a relief for him. I have found a lovely photograph of my husband a few years old and I am focusing on that rather than the man he had become with his mouth opened and vacant stare.My most sincere condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself now.

[Mamalou59 in reply to Wigwambob]

Thank you.

[Goodact]

Bless you foe being a carer such an incredible hard journey my love goes to in these hard times but you will turn a corner and be free too

[Mamalou59 in reply to Goodact]

Thank you

[45purple]

Mamalous59 sorry for the loss of your husband. He’s resting peacefully and rid of this illness. Take comfort in knowing he is flying with the angels 💜

[Mamalou59 in reply to 45purple]

Tyhank you 45 purple. It is truly comforting

[Mamalou59]

Thank you everyone for your comforing words. Really help to ease the l oneliness. Bless ypu all!

[Golden63]

So sorry for your loss. May the good memories keep you warm in the coming days xx

[Mamalou59 in reply to Golden63]

Thank you

[Leosta]

Dear Mamalou59, my sympathy for you on the loss of your husband. He is truly free from this devastating disease and enjoying the peace he deserves. And you, too, are free from the toll of caring for him for so long. Love carries us on, but I know firsthand the physical, emotional and mental strain that you have been under. Now enjoy the peace that you deserve. Be gentle with yourself. xx 🙏

[Mamalou59 in reply to Leosta]

Thank you Leosta.

[GoGreen]

I’m so sorry for your loss!!! I understand about the length of time he had the disease and can’t hardly remember before. My husband had it for 14 years, really hampered the last 5 years. He has been gone 3 years now, and I can say I’m remembering more of our time before PSP. It takes time, and you’re really exhausted, so be gentle on yourself! May God comfort you and hold you tight!

[Mamalou59 in reply to GoGreen]

Thank you so much GoGreen. I am praying for this. You take care too.

[Lukade]

So sorry for your loss,take good care of yourself x

[Mamalou59 in reply to Lukade]

Thank you Lukade

[LuisRodicioRodicio]

Hi Mamalou59

You did a great and sacrificial job. Still, no one could have done better for the patient.

A hug.

Luis

[Mamalou59 in reply to LuisRodicioRodicio]

Thank you so much Luis. You have helped me a lot with your emails

[LuisRodicioRodicio in reply to Mamalou59]

Thank you for your words.

Knowing that I can be useful and offer some help is my best reward.

Ahead of you are family, friends, solitude and freedom. In other words, there is still a lot of life left to explore.

A big hug.

Luis

[Mamalou59 in reply to LuisRodicioRodicio]

Thanks again. 🙏🏻

[eaglet]

I'm sorry for the passing of your Beloved Sam. My prayers 🙏 will surround you with my ❤ love..And I hope you have fond memories of Sam that will bring a smile to your face for the days ahead...

[Mamalou59 in reply to eaglet]

Thanks so much eaglet. I smiled after reading your message 😊

[Calamity_j]

so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs xxx

[Mamalou59 in reply to Calamity_j]

Thank you Calamity_i

[horseandwolf]

There are never words that can fully explain our sorrow for you. All I know is that you have support and friendship from the people on this site. I wish you peace and comfort for your life going forward. God bless!!

[Mamalou59 in reply to horseandwolf]

Thank you for your kind words hnw

[Richard33]

Mamalou,

I am sorry to read about your husband. Your words about this forum are so right and it is such a comfort to me.....

This is a tough journey we are all on. I hope it gets better for you in time.

Richard 🙂

[Mamalou59 in reply to Richard33]

Thank you Richard. I know everything will be better. With God’s grace…