It has been 14 months since Ian's moving on to glory.....and now it's time for me to move on from Spain, where we lived for 18 very happy years. Although I have adjusted to living in our mountaintop home alone, with the dogs of course, in 7weeks I will be moving back to the UK to live in an 18th century chapel house and oversee the renovations of the chapel in a small village in the south of England just 20 minutes from my daughter.
My life is being completely renovated, too, it seems. This opportunity came about in an extraordinary way, but events seem to have happened around me. I am so aware that the life lessons I learnt,and in some ways continue to learn, through caring for my beloved for so many years, are preparing me for a new chapter.
Although it is hard to let go of the place where we struggled and agonized over the daily challenges PSP threw at us, I know that, just as Ian has moved on, it is now time for me to do the same. It will be odd living in a place that has never known our laughter and tears, but I believe that those experiences which many of you understand have enriched me and hopefully prepared me to face my new adventure with hope and assurance.
It means I will be able to come to any UK reunions now!
I just wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten all you have been to me. Thank you so much for enabling me to be strong through the journey.
Juliet
Written by
JCRy
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This is such a lovely, heartfelt, sincere and moving message. I too, but only just recently, lost an Ian to PSP. Though we lived most of our lives in the U.S. when it was clear this disease was determined to dismantle him completely, I moved him back to his native UK to be with his sister. It was the best decision I ever made and he died at home with his extended UK family all rallied around him. Now I am still here, with our two daughters, without him and, just three months out from his death, I am left to figure out how to "renovate" my own life. I am somewhat afraid to go back to the U.S. without him and feel closer to him here. I imagine that "magical thinking" will gradually fade and I will then be left with some serious life decisions to make. I too have been "saved' by the information and solidarity of this forum. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapters.
So sorry you lost your Ian to this horrible disease. You were brave to move to the UK but the good that came out from that was the support and Ian having extended family around him.
After my husband passed away I was torn between moving closer to my daughter and her family who live by the sea or staying in our family home in a small village. (I always said I would love to live by the sea when I retire). I was lucky to get some grieving counselling and mentioned this, but was advised not to make any decision for at least 2 to 3 years.
Well two and a half years on and I’m still in the village. The thought of leaving our home which we built up together, all my friends and the different activities/groups I take part in was just too much. Instead I get weekends at my daughter’s and they also come to me.
So please do not rush into making any decisions, but whatever choose and whenever you do, I wish you well. In the meantime take care.
Moving on is never easy; but you are doing so in such a positive manner. Beautiful memories and the love in our hearts follow us wherever we goIan's journey will go with you too!
Best of luck, much happiness and beautiful memories only be with you!
How lovely to hear from you with such lovely news of your plans ahead. It sounds exciting.
I have been on a round road trip visiting various relatives whom I have not seen since Nigel's funeral so I did not access the internet very much at all but was determined to remember to repy to you once I got home.
I agree that we change when we become carers then loose a loved one but it does enrich us.
I so look forward to seeing you again if we have another meet up.
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Feeding techniques and moving to PEG.
The house move..the saga..the second one in my married life, the decluttering, argggg
Persisting in the Face of Caregiver Difficulties: Moving from Pessimism to Optimism
