overwhelmed

[acorneater]

Thanks guys for all the lovely messages of condolence you have sent me,I have cried my eyes out reading them.I have now started to sort things out but it's proving to be very difficult as many people are not answering their phones.

I don't know where the death certificate is and the undertaker needs a copy to start his works.I will keep in touch so as to pass on information that may help others in my situation.

Thanks again all,with a tear in my eye,Acorneater.

[honjen43]

Hi acorneater, yes, I found this a frantic and distressing time and just wanted it all to go away and leave me alone!

Regarding the death certificate, I seem to remember I walked from the hospital in Cirencester where my father died straight round to the registrar of deaths and gave them the information and took the certificate away with me. Here in NZ, I had to wait until the certificate was released to the undertaker. I had no control.

I suggest you get in touch with the doctor who attended the death. Alternatively, talk to Hospice who may be helpful and know the procedures.

You will get through this!

Stay strong!

Hugs

Jen xxx

[AliBee1]

Hi. It is certainly a difficult period with all the required paperwork at a time when you really cannot cope with it. With regards to the death certificate: a friend had the same difficulty last week as during lockdown the Doctor sends the certificate electronically and she could not find where it had gone. We live in Somerset and she eventually found that it had been sent to a central office not her local registrar. In Somerset the details are Somerset Registration Service, somerset.gov.uk so if you substitute your own county that should get you to where you need to be. Good luck and be kind to yourself. Love AliBee x

[Hiking13]

I am assuming the care home should have paperwork ( or electronic paperwork) that they should pass to you to take to the registry office ( or send electronically) then that paperwork needs passing to the undertaker, that was certainly what happened when Steve passed away but he was in hospital rather than a home, I then complicated things further as I wanted to donate Steve’s brain but that sped up the whole process. I can only imagine how difficult it is in the current climate. I just kept a huge notepad by my side and wrote everything down as I found it very difficult to remember what people were saying to me, I had to really concentrate as I almost felt that life was passing by and I was watching rather than participating. We all cope and feel differently I am just sharing the above as it is fine however you are feeling and sometimes it is all so overwhelming but just take your time, keep lists and do a little at a time try and stay calm and ask everyone you ring your explain the procedure and someone will give you the information you need and set you on track for what you need to do next. I hope you have some family or a friend who can help you out and also keep putting the kettle on - I drank so much tea. I also found getting outside for a run ( in my case) or a walk really helped to clear my head but I used to get some funny looks as I used to cry for the first mile. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs

Love Sarahxxx

[daddyt]

Hugs and prayers as you move forward.

Tim

[JantheNana]

The advice about keeping a notepad with everything on it is good. It brought back memories of when I did that after Don passed away. On it you can keep names of people and agencies you need to contact and their phone numbers . It may take months to get all the business taken care of and that way you have a log of what you have done and what you need to do.

I’ll say it again because it is so worth repeating- One day at a time. Janet.

[bazooka111]

I’m sorry you have to be on this journey. Pray that you find strength soon and the days seem brighter ... one day at a time. Xx Kim