Jillannf6

[Kevin_1]

Hi Jillann

It's good to see you are still with us here.

Thinking of you and sending hugs.

Warmly

Kevin

[Yvonneandgeorge]

Here here ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[easterncedar in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Dear Yvonne - And you? How are you keeping? You've had such a rough road. I hope things are smoothing out a bit for you. Hugs, Sarah

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to easterncedar]

Oh Sarah not been a good time for me, my sister passed away about 5 weeks ago, very sad time, hard to move on xxxx how are you? Xxxx

[Kevin_1 in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

So sorry to hear this.

Hugs and thinking of you

xx

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Kevin_1]

Thank you Kevin much needed hugs x

[easterncedar]

Hi, Kevin! How are you doing? I hope you are finding time to enjoy your garden. It always sounded so fabulous.

And hi to Jillann, too! I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I send our love!

[Kevin_1 in reply to easterncedar]

Hi EC

Things are going fairly well.

Liz is stable, but terribly bored. I think she will murder the next person who plays a 1940' s song in the day room at the nursing home. She is so mentally aware, but her thinking is slowed. I'm seeing her today after lunch.

For me? It's all a bit like paralysis. Heartbreaking and waiting. I dream of being out at sea sailing sometimes. Such a good place to be. I may yet return to that, but only coastal sailing I think. I'm not really sure if I have the endurance any more... We shall see. At least it is a vision of a possible life after.

How are you doing? Are you making way in life?

Thinking of you.

Warmly

Kevin

[easterncedar in reply to Kevin_1]

Hi, Kevin - sailing sounds wonderful. I love the sea. I dream of getting back out in my little canoe on the lakes and rivers all around me here. My boat hasn't touched water in two years now. I fear it will throw me in when I finally get it out, just for revenge!

I am taking care of my mother now. She is beginning to get frustrated with being unwell and in pain and wants to give up. Hospice is coming to talk to us this morning. She was doing so well this summer. We made a long road trip back to our home town in July and visited friends and partied with relatives. It was great! I didn't think it was the last hurrah. This intractable pain has just appeared, and she doesn't want to go for the necessary (but very risky, anyway) surgery. I hate that she's being worn down so, but she is 92 and says she has done enough.

I am not ready for this, but, having the experience with Henry, I hope I can manage. My siblings all live very far away, but those that can have come at intervals to help.

I have been trying to keep working til now, but expect I will be going on extended leave.

I know I am fortunate to have had my parents so long, but that isn't really much of a consolation at the moment.

On we go.

Love and hugs, Sarah

[Kevin_1 in reply to easterncedar]

Hi

Yes, I'm not sure I would cope with a second bout of caring for quite a while. Yes, boats can get moody. It sounds daft but I have seen it so many times.

That is such a good age though. I do hope they can help with the pain.

Good for you, keeping on working. You must be made of stern stuff.

Wishing you the very best.

Warmly

Kevin

[Heady in reply to Kevin_1]

Kevin, if you can survive PSP, then I am sure you will be able to get out into the open seas again. Least you know some of the sea can throw at you.

Sending big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

[Kevin_1 in reply to Heady]

Hi Anne

Yes, PSP is the cruellest sea I have known.

At least there is respite after a storm at sea. Not an emptiness. And, storms are fun... Elemental, yet soft, if the boat is managed well... Not like the movies! When ocean sailing and a storm was incoming I used to have a good hot meal and pack easy eat food and then settle down to a 'good storm'. The elemental seas and howling wind were superb... My boat was slow, but it was a sea Land Rover... I miss her.

Even now at sunset I can't shake the habit of checking the sky before bed.

Maybe, if after all this is done... Alone at sea is a very healing place.

I'm mumbling on here...

Perhaps thinking about being alone at sea is is an avoidense of the pain and heartbreak of Liz's leaving.

I think it might be.

Hugs and love to you

wishing you well

Love

Kevin

[Heady in reply to Kevin_1]

Love back Kevin!

[easterncedar in reply to Kevin_1]

Solitude and nature...my favorite medicine...

[doglington in reply to Kevin_1]

I understand that, Kevin.

Its a comforting dream. I find it hard doing things I previously did with Chris but comforting doing things I always did separately.

I also am comfortable with my own company. I don't fancy sailing but can see the appeal of it by your description. I take it you don't get sea sick ? Sadly I do . But I lovewatching the sea.

Last week in Yorkshire we scattered some of Chris' ashes off Flamborough Head. It was a beautiful day. I still find it hard letting him go.

Give Liz a hug from me [ and Chris ] - and you of course.

love, Jean xx

[Kevin_1 in reply to doglington]

Hi Jean

Yes, I have to work at motivating myself to do things. Sadness can be so immobilising. I keep myself distracted by doing things. You know the way I'm sure.

Scattering ashes off Flamborough Head sounds good.

Yes, I get seasick for about 1/2 a day then I adjust. Most folk are like that.

Thinking of you.

Warmly

Kevin

xx

[Heady]

Jill, sending very big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

[LuisRodicioRodicio]

A big hug Kevin!

Luis

[Kevin_1 in reply to LuisRodicioRodicio]

To you too Luis

[Ratcliffe]

Hi Jill! Always good to see you appearing on here with a like here and there, hope you are doing OK. love you!

Derek

[easterncedar in reply to Ratcliffe]

Hi, Derek! How are you doing?

[MaddyS]

Hi Jill. Lots of love and hugs 😘😘 Maddy xx

[Hidden]

Hugs to all,old and new of our group.

Dee

[Hiking13]

Hi Kevin

Plan that trip out to sea sailing and make sure you do it one day, share your plans with your lovely Liz. When Steve was so poorly we used to talk about my planned trip to Everest Base Camp (which I did in April), he also knew that I was planning to trek in Switzerland (I have just returned from a beautiful 11 day trek there) Both trips have been very healing experiences and all the more special because Steve knew about them. The only sad thing is I couldn’t share my stories with Steve when I got back but I am sure he was with me every step of the way. I also think it helped him to know that I was going to be ok and to continue to do the things that I love, I think and hope that it made things less stressful for him as he sort of knew I would be ok, even though I still feel far from ok some days , I didn’t want him to leave this World worrying about me. I hope this makes sense but plan that sailing trip but I hope you don’t have to go on it for a long time and in the meantime enjoy every moment with your lovely Liz.

Sarahxx

[Kevin_1 in reply to Hiking13]

Thanks Sarah,

Yes already I keep thinking, "I wish Liz could share this." Whether it be a nice meal or something in the garden. I doubt that will ever stop.

Good for you with your hiking. That's really encouraging.

Thanks for the encouraging post.

Wishing you the best with your ongoing journey.

warmly

Kevin

xx

[doglington]

Good to know you are still joining us Jill.

Big hug and love from Jean xx

[daddyt]

Big Hugs to you Jillian, I know can always find you on FB.

Tim x

[raincitygirl]

Hugs Jillann! 😀❤️💙❤️💚

Anne G