If I had a paper calendar I would put a big red heart in for today with lipstick! 💖
My visit with Liz was wonderful.
Liz actually tried to smile when I found her in the drawing room at the home.
We went to her room as usual and she made a Herculean effort to hug me. I tried to hold back the tears.
I gave her the news and asked her for her news - Twenty questions style to give and share her views. She answers with hand squeezes and blinks and finger movements. It is miserable to watch the struggle as she tries to communicate, but today she was trying to communicate!
I have spent much time questioning myself about exactly why I need her not to be grumpy, but to be loving.
I expect it is obvious to everyone but me. When she is hugging and smiling we can make a warm loving place where she is cherished and safe, wrapped in love and care. When she is 'angry' she is alone with anger and the suffering of the illness... a horrible place where she suffers alone.
At one point she took my hand and very slowly brought it to her face, rubbed her cheek and kissed it. It took her so much concentration and effort. I had tears running down my cheeks. Later we shed a tear or two together about it all.
A wonderful day...
Thanks to all for the support here - It keeps me going through the bad times.