I'm sure of it - How else could everything go so perfectly wrong so many times? Some dark department of Human Endurance is experimenting on us.
We are just coming through a 'bad week'. My dear lovely has got so many things 'perfectly wrong' I felt I was breaking down.
0700 - ten minutes before the carers come to toilet her. They use the key safe and so I can sleep on. She wakes me and says she wants the loo. I've already done a 2300, 0200 and 0500 loo call.
Carer Person spec. Item 3 - "Does not require sleep."
Later in the day she does not ask to go to the loo. I prompt her, but she says no. Ten minutes later she says its urgent and she was trying to protect me from too much work, but now I need to rush like mad to get her there. So I really tell her off and say that rescuing often leads to issues getting worse and please just tell me the truth.
Two hours later I ask her if she would like pasta for her tea.... "No"
How about rice done as a pilau? "No"
Two more suggestions and two more "No's"
I ask her why she is saying no to everything, she replies she is being honest as I asked.
"So what do you want?" I don't know you always offer me a bit of choice and I choose from that."
What about the pasta then?... "No"....
Then there was the unplanned bowel movement 20 minute before the carers arrived for wash and bed, So guess who sorted that out?
Three weeks ago we had a DST. After three hard hours the assessor declared this was a review and now, "you need a DST"!
Today we had the DST... The CCG assessor was scoring everything too low by a long margin. I argued every point with some vigour. He topped it by saying. "None of what you are saying is evidence. I need evidence." I had given him detailed descriptions of things like falls and how they came a bout and where and when. He replied, well if your GP said it, it would be evidence. I really had had enough and asked him testily who would tell the GP? He started to form the word "You" before quickly saying that the carers haven't logged falls. I replied that's because there are two of them and they don't have them. Eventually I lost it and said that I wanted the assessment stopped. He looked a little worried and I explained to him that as an Ex- NHS practitioner I knew what counted as evidence and that I would stop the interview and make a formal complaint about his conduct. Also that he was systematically scoring low when the score above was a perfect description of the problem and that I would be very happy to evidence that to his manager.
We continued and gradually I started winning my points on hotly debated scores for each item.
At the end he announced that he was going to recommend Liz get's CHC funding. ?!!?
For good measure I got the Social Worker to agree that Liz was beyond the legal limit for social services social care. Best to close the escape route should he waiver.
Oddly we all parted on decent terms.
Does anyone want to chip in for a pile of signs we can put on our front doors?
"Beware of the Carer - It bites!"
CHC funding still needs approval though. Perhaps the CCG will have a British Airways moment and we can have a rematch? Best of three or something?
Bring it on!
Very tired and worn today... I get three hours respite tomorrow... but I might just chew through the leash.