As regular bloggers will know I'm often awake "in the wee small hours" and I was lying in bed the other night thinking over our recent appointment with the Parkinson's Nurse who, incidentally, discharged us because she doesn't feel she can offer us anything that we can't access via our superb Community Matron. At the appointment pretty much the only coherent thing Mum managed to say was "I'm well looked after.....I think they'll miss me when I'm gone!"
As I lay there going over things in my mind the phrase came back to me and my initial thought was "I miss her already". I miss the Mum I used to know. As I lay there and thought about what a great Mum she was and is a poem started forming in my head. It's a bit weird, because it's written as if it's Mum speaking to me and when I read it back it's her voice I hear inside my head! I thought I would share it with you all. I called it
WHEN I'M GONE
Remember me as I was then.
Not just a Mum
More like a friend.
Always ready for a cup of tea.
Grandchildren bouncing on one knee.
A shopping trip,
A good old natter.
Concerned about the things that matter.
Always busy, helping, sharing.
Time for others, giving, caring.
Don't think of me as I am now.
A rigid shell,
A furrowed brow.
A vacant stare.
Restless hands that pluck the air.
Eyes that glaze and do not see.
THIS IS NOT ME