this is "gonnaMissDaddy", he's gone, he's really gone

[Bereaved2017]

It is with a very heavy heart that I have to tell you Daddy passed away last night. The last few days were especially hard, as he suffered. He's no longer imprisoned in that sick useless body. Oooh but I miss him so much already and even though we knew it was coming, it feels shocking, like a new dimension of sad. I can't believe he's really gone. God bless you all. You'll always be in my prayers. ~Sheila

[Marie_14]

Sheila my condolences to you and family. I am so sad for you. I know how you feel having gone through this just a bit over 2 months ago. It is a new dimension of sadness as you say.

God bless you and lots of love to you and yours. At least your Dad is at peace now and free from this horrible disease.

Marie x

[Satt2015]

Dearest Shelia

Sending my most heartfelt condolences

I'm so very sorry but at least your dad is free now of this evil disease

Take time now to grieve and try to be kind to yourself

Much love x

[Patriciapmr]

I'm so sorry Sheila and I send you my love and condolences, I lost my husband 3 months ago and you're so right it is a new dimension of sadness.

We think we are prepared for it as we knew it was unavoidable, but how wrong we were, it hits you like a sledge hammer and completely takes over you!

I didn't think I could ever feel worse about his horrible situation but oh boy how wrong was I?

Thinking of you Sheila and hoping you find the strength you need to cope, somehow we manage to do it but I'm not sure how....

Love and big hugs.....Pat xx

[Bereaved2017 in reply to Patriciapmr]

Thank you for that Patricia and I'm so very sorry you know this feeling of deep despair and sadness. God bless you dear friend.

[doglington]

So sorry for your loss, Sheila. You're right. One is never really prepared for the feeling of abandonment when it comes. The loss of all he was.

My condolences to you all. I hope you can hang on to all the many good memories when Daddy was full of vigour.

Lots of love, Jean xx

[Bereaved2017 in reply to doglington]

Thank you dear Jean. And I too hope the good old memories return as the more recent 20 months fades away. I'm attempting to say a eulogy at the funeral on Friday (in 2 days) and right now it's hard to stop the more recent images from coming to mind. I've looked through old pics tonight which has helped but, in a bittersweet way because it refreshed the memories of Mama dying of cancer and of how it nearly killed my Daddy... and me and us all, she was only 34 so it was crazy. Seeing the old pics of them reminded me of how in love they were, even if not a perfect union it was certainly close enough. I wish I could SEE a glimpse of Heaven and see them together again after all these years, which is a thought that keeps me going. Together again after all this time.

[doglington in reply to Bereaved2017]

In my heart I separate the two parts of Chris. There is the vigorous, enthusiastic man I was married to for 50 years and there's the stoical, quiet, patient man I've cared for for the last three years as he deteriorates.

I've been grieving the loss of the first for three years, whilst still loving the present Chris and hoping to relieve his suffering.

So have you. The thought of your parents re-united is very comforting.

Love, Jean xx

[Heady]

Hi Shelia, so sorry to hear that your Dad has died. May he rest in peace, finally free from this evil disease.

Lots of love

Anne

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Heady]

Shelia my heart goes out to you, may your dad rest in peace, away from PSP. Sending you a big hug xxxxx

[Bereaved2017 in reply to Heady]

Thank you my friend, thank you and God bless you. You're in my prayers for always.

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry and with deepest sympathy to you and all your family. No words just so much more sadness now at these moments in time. My heart is with you .sincere love to you all Miriam xx

[Bereaved2017 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you dear Miriam. I hope your life is soon filled to overflowing with nothing but JOY and PEACE!

[Hidden in reply to Bereaved2017]

Dearest Shelia xxxx

I wish you so so so much from my heart too to you and all of your family xxx

And I did not expect a reply so soon bless your heart xxxx

Im so choked by your dear dear words and very emotional like yourselves too .

Your dearly in my thoughts. Bless you hugs and more and dear dear peace for Daddy for peace for him out of pain and misery and now in a very special restful place smileing at you with sweetness and love .

I feel your pain now and for PSP families it will come to all of us so so so sadly.

Lots love Miriam xx xxxxxx 💜

[SuzeW]

Sending you love at this time X

[Hidden]

Shelia,

You and your family have my deepest condolences.

Ron

[amberrose2]

so sorry to hear of your loss as i have lost my daddy too, but he is up in heaven now in a new body cured and free from disease and pain, thats what i believe. god will get you through this like he did for me.xx

[Spiralsparkle]

Sending you lots of love and strength.

Be kind to yourself and take it hour by hour, day by day.

Xx

[vlh4444]

I'm so sorry you have lost him Sheila - my deepest sympathy to you and your family. I know how hard this time is for you and it is a shock even though you've been expecting it.

Vicki

[Bereaved2017 in reply to vlh4444]

Thank you Vicki, and it's the craziest thing, to be FULLY expecting something then when it happens, to feel like the rug has been pulled from beneath my feet. Makes no sense at all. But there it is all the same.

[Tillyhugs]

Thoughts are with you

Tillyhugs

[Trillo]

So soŕry for your loss, RIP. What a horrible illness that very little is known about. He is at peace now, no more suffering for him. Look after yourself. You can do no more.x

[Bereaved2017 in reply to Trillo]

I find myself wanting to RAGE at psp, even more now than before. Like, now I can look back over these past couple years and see ALL THE INDIGNITIES it stole from my Dad, who was an honorable man and did not deserve this. I guess it's become another thing I own, and am responsible to inform people about it's existence (of psp) for the rest of my life. Thank you dear Trillo!

[Hidden in reply to Bereaved2017]

100% could not agree with you more and feel EXACTLY EVERY SINGLE WORD you have dearly said about your dad as I do i too about my dear Dad .Our dad's both honorable Respectful loveable Gentlemen and my dad was such a GENTLE MAN but a real man .xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I meant a GENTLE MAN AND A REAL MAN not BUT xx

Sometimes I really don't know what I'm talking about xxxxxxx I think i get infact at the moment extremely and especially very very muddled and confused with life xxx and words xxx

[ketchupman]

I echo what all of my dear friends have already sad. Many of us have recently lost our loved ones to the dreadful disease. As much as we all suffered with the issues of caring for someone with PSP, we truly miss caring for them and loving them. What I would give to have just one more day with my precious Kim. But I know she is at peace and in Heaven watching over me. May you find peace knowing the same.

Ketchupman

[Bereaved2017 in reply to ketchupman]

I've been consumed lately and haven't been on here much the last couple months, and am sad to hear many here have recently lost loved ones to the dreadful evil psp. And ya know, Daddy hasn't been himself in so many months that I've already been missing him since before he passed 2 nights ago. I realized today though, that I do NOT miss seeing him suffer like he has the last few months. He was gasping for breath the last few days. It hurt me deeper than any depths I knew even existed in me. So I cant wish for him to be back, but can only wish he'd never had psp. I so hate psp. BUT if given the actual choice to have him back another day how he was before the last few days, I wouldn't be able to resist bringing him back. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experience. Peace to you too my brother.

[Flemingc]

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

[daddyt]

So very sorry for your loss... prayers and blessings your way xx

[Beverley52]

My condolences to you and your family. Yes it's still something of a shock, even when you think you've spent all this time preparing yourself.

Big hugs, beverley

[Lieve]

Dear Sheila - I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can imagine how you feel. I lost my dad three weeks ago, I'm only starting to grief now, there really was no time with all the funeral arrangements and admin and travel there and back... I had been telling friends about a new phase in my life, where I have no time for negative feelings anymore, but only sadness is allowed. And then I read something about this that Louis CK had said, sadness is actually a good feeling, in we are privileged to feel it because it means we had someone we loved so much, it hurts when they're gone, but it also reminds us of the happy times. And in some weird way, that gives me comfort. Yes, I'll miss him enormously, but that is only because he meant so much to me.

Big hug to you,

Lieve

[Katiebow]

Sorry to hear your sad news Sheila but it must be a great release for your dear dad not to have to suffer any longer. Sending you hugs

Kate xxx