Thank you!

[laroux]

Want to let you all know how much I truly appreciate your support. Have a feeling I may be leaning on you more often in the days to come.

heartfelt appreciation,

Joan

[Kevin_1]

Welcome Joan.

We all lean on each other here at some time or another.

Warmly

Kevin

[easterncedar]

We all take turns leaning on each other. So what's going on now? Peace, ec

[Marie_14]

Joan, lean away! None of us would get through this without each other. My husband is dead now but it is still so painful. So I try to help others and in doing that it helps me. Well most of the time it does! This weekend has been bad though. So you are not alone.

Marie x

[easterncedar in reply to Marie_14]

Sorry it was a hard weekend for you, Marie. Hugs, Ec

[Marie_14 in reply to easterncedar]

Eastern Cedar (love that name) thank you for caring. Done a lot of crying but it's probably overdue. Been very brave or so I've been told! Actually I felt frozen inside. Think I am finally realising what has happened. We have pain when our loved ones are alive and then more pain when they go. Then others make it worse too! Not sure how you handle that one though.

How is your loved one today? Hope you have had a good day.

Marie xx

[horsegirl in reply to Marie_14]

I can relate with what you said. I lost my husband on Christmas Eve.

Having him alive (with PSP) was horrible, but being without him is, too. I feel manic - sometimes days are blissful, and some are dark.

Today would have been our 35th wedding anniversary, and it's a particularly tearful day.

Hugs to all of us who have suffered under this cursed disease.

-Horsegirl

[Marie_14 in reply to horsegirl]

Horsegirl I am so sorry he didn't last long enough to celebrate your 35th Anniversary with you. On the other hand would he have been in worse pain and suffering? It is so sad he died on Christmas Eve too. There are so many of us who have lost our loved ones over the past few months. Then we have all the firsts? My husband's birthday was last week. It really upset me. More than I expected it to. Strange how you think you will cope and then end up wanting to howl?

Take care of yourself and PM me if you want to anytime.

Marie x

[easterncedar in reply to Marie_14]

I've never been very good at crying and have had just a couple of momentary wails so far. I don't know quite which I fear more, being permanently frozen or being prostrated with grief, but suppose either way it's not something I can control, just have to keep it together to the end.

Such a mixed day.

My sweetheart had a great morning, talking a little, and clearly, which is very rare. He said he loved me as I left him with the wonderful aide to go to work. Friends visited this evening and made him laugh, which was delightful, but he couldn't speak at all by then. He stood with my help as they left and he looked so frail and tiny. No one would know he used to be six feet tall. He wasn't standing up up to my height, 5'6". He was exhausted after supper and went right to bed.

But I don't think he's actually asleep.

Thanks for asking.

Hugs, ec

[Marie_14 in reply to easterncedar]

EC glad you had some nice time with your loved one. So sad isn't it to see them look so frail? It just breaks your heart but you have to carry on being strong.

Whether you go to pieces or are frozen as I was it all comes out in the end. I miss Garry so very much. Just little things where I could ask him for advice. 9-10 times I then did what I wanted to! It was being able to ask that was important. Being in an empty house is getting to me too. Yet I have been alone since last year really. Somehow it was different because I knew where he was and could go to visit him.

I hope you have many more good days with your loved one. Bless him...we really don't know what they are going through?

Love and hugs to you both.

Marie x