Sadly at the ripe old age of 48 (yes Georgepa I was born in 1968) I have lost both friends & family to illness, old age & even suicide and obviously have experienced grief, sometimes overwhelmingly so but NOTHING has prepared me for losing my Mum.
The grief I am currently experiencing takes my breath away, it knocks me for six, it catches me unawares at the most inopportune moments causing me to sob uncontrollably.
I know that in one sense I am lucky to feel the strength of this grief because it demonstrates the immense love for my amazing Mum but my heart is breaking.
People keep asking me "what can they do?" & I want to respond "make her better, give her back to me?" An impossible task.
A bit of a self indulgent post but the hubby has just gone away for 6 weeks & I needed a hug so knew I'd get virtual ones here & people who'd understand my sadness & not just make what they feel are the appropriate noises. So I'll sign off now, go & have a good blub & thank my lucky stars that I have a Mum & Dad who I love so dearly ❤️
Love to you all x
Written by
Katet68
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Elaine it looks like you were born the year we were married! And I think we exchanged emails a while ago about the Friends and Family day in Birmingham in September. I was hoping to meet you there. Another time maybe?
Kate I know exactly how you're feeling, the same waves of grief happen to me every day and I can't stop crying, it's an awful feeling like someone has punched you in the stomach! We are all grieving right now when our loved ones are still with us, like you , I dread to think what I'll feel like when I actually lose Keith, I can't imagine anything worse than our situation, so so cruel.
Kate I hate this PSP, my brother and his wife have been over from Cyprus for Christmas, they went home today, feel like I have lost another part of my heart. If George had not got this horrible illness, we would of retired in Cyprus, everything was ready to go, we were going to build a house up in the mountains, where George was born, all that went out of the window, a few years ago, I so want our lives to be different, but PSP has decided otherwise, not fair, George worked so hard to achieve our dreams, but they have disappeared, I can't even get him there for a short break, my heart is breaking xxxxxx. Kate sending you a massive hug, xxxxxx
And I'm sending you a huge hug back, it's all just too unfair isn't it. I'm so sad for you & all the other amazing people on this site but thank god we have each other xxxx
I understand . I did nto mis my mom alot until I realized I couldn't go to her to talk about this and that or what happened when we lived here or there. My brothers are alos both dead so I have no go=to people for my past. And though your mum is physically, still with us, I know how you feel missing the one you love so much. I miss B and cannot imagine what I am supposed to do when even his physical body finally succumbs. Will I get out and start doing things on my own....or will I continue this life of reclusiveness that seems to be holding me hostage....
Will you be free , relying on the wonderful memories you and your family has of your mum.....I am praying that you will.....That starts now....while she is still alive......
A big hug to you, too, George. You have brought so much comfort and so many smiles to me and my love and everyone else on this site, I send deep thanks along with that hug. Hang on. We are all in this together. Love, ec
I'm so sorry. I can empathise, having gone through this with my dad. He's still with us, but only the shell of the person he was. I've found keeping a bottle of Rescue Remedy handy for those overwhelming moments can be very helpful. Also homoeopathic Ignatia can really take the edge off it (depending how you feel about homoeopathy, I know it's not for everyone). Sending hugs x
Know what you mean. My lovely husband left a while ago and I care for a shadow of him. Still a lovely man but very different and I mourn the "real one" all the time.
Hugs galore coming your way , my wise daughter says to me ' mum it's ok to cry' I feel for you kids as you worry about both parents, but we are stronger than you think!
I was so touched by your post and so related to it. I was born in 67 so just a little older .. mum is 75 and diagnosed last year with PSP. I have wept since and loosing her bit by bit is killing me.
How is your mum doing?
My mum too has been the most amazing mum you could wish for so seeing her struggling is heartbreaking .
It's the sadness I feel that's so hard ... you just want the old person back!
What helps me is knowing I'm doing all I can to care for her and make precious memories now even though she is very different .
I am learning to take care of myself also, which was very good advice from all our family on this site.
Please take care and I know how you feel completely .
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Fly high Mum - CBD 12 days no swallow
Thank goodness you are all here!
Wishing you all a Happy Christmas
My mum is also free at last. Thank you for your replies.
