ranting gone wild

[pzagy]

With everyday that passes I hate CBD and everything associated with it....I know what lies ahead and I am struggling with so many emotions...just left my mother in laws, she had an anxiety attack while she was in the shower. She fell and the 2 caregivers could not calm her down. They had to call the ambulance for help and by the time I got there she was sitting in her chair having her blood pressure taken.

We talked, we paryed and I got her to calm down, then her guilt for what she did came in. She cannot control her anxiety, it is driving her insane and I think she relized it today...my heart breaks for her and what she is going through....but I got her to laugh, seems that she doesnt want to live in the now, but she wants ro relive the past with the stories and memories.

Moving into the home Monday and I will be there with her, don't know what tomorrow will bring

No sleep, even though she is on the strongest sleepinig aid she can be on, cant relax mentally and now she is throwing herself on the floor....anyone else going through or has been at this stage??? She still eats but very little and coughs everytime she drinks, she is lying down all day, her balance is non existant BUTSHE DOES NOT SLEEP!!!!.

I HATE YOU CBD

Thank you all for just listeneing and putting up with my rants...

[Heady]

We don't put "up" with rants here, we openly encourage them. How do any of us get through the day with having, at least one meltdown. We have to use this site to rant and rave, only the good folk here, know what I am going through on a minute to minute existence, know how to help, give advice, or just send me a much needed hug.

I am sorry though, I can't give any advise of this matter, S, thankfully, has not suffered this sort of episode.

All I can do, is say I have heard you and sending that huge big cuddle you need.

Lots of love

Heady

[pzagy in reply to Heady]

Apparently with CBG the anxiety only apprears in about 10% of people, so we are the lucky winners of that symptom....

thanks for the support, thanks for caring and thank God for letting me meet people like you all that are going through this

together we are strong

[abirke]

Amen Heady! We don't put up, but encourage our need to express....and melt downs a plenty.....I was having them all night last night and not one was about B's condition but my own inability to create an edible cuisine....I must admit I have been doing Klonopin for the last two weeks...anxiety level high!

I wonder if your mom would respond to an anti anxiety med.....Or a good tea...like SleepyTime...knocks me right out! I think the anxiety maybe in response to knowing that she is about to move to her new home....that's plain stressful for anyone.... She might do well with a coping skill...I don't know something that both you and she can discover that might help her get over that anxious hump of the moment....She likes to hear stories of yesteryear, maybe have her think of one that brings a smile or get her thought on something else.....

Again You are a wonderful daughter in law she is very lucky to have someone that will make them smile, pray with them,,,,and reminisce....I hope my d in laws are like that when I grow up!

big hugs to you for all that you do...

AVB

[pzagy in reply to abirke]

Hi abirke

thanks o much for your advise, I must say I do exactly what you suggest, cammomile (steeped only for 3 minutes) talking and praying together usually makes her feel better. It seems that these eposides come about without warning ans last until I get to her house, you see for the past 2 weeks she doesn't call anyone but me. I can take it though her sons can't.

She has been on Zoloft for the past year an a few other anxiety meds for 3 years. This is nothing new however, I know that going into the home is giving her a little more stress, but the anxiety has been a part of her life for about 5 years, thats when I think CBD reared it's ugly head.

I have blocked all emotions and am working totally on getting what is best for her, if I stop and think I will break down, funny how are bodies and minds are able to do this....

Thank you for your kind words, I learned this behavior from my own mom, you see my grandmother was also in a home due to a stroke, she didn't recognize us when she waw us, but we went everyday, in shifts of 3 for 5 years she was never alone....I was taught from the best...

Going to her place tonight to pick up some things and bringing them to her new home....hopefully she likes it

[pzagy in reply to abirke]

and BTW I love to cook and can give you a few easy recipes to get a good dinner on the table in under 15 min.....

[easterncedar in reply to pzagy]

I love to cook, too, but am having a hard time being quick about it. I'd be glad for some new ideas. Please do share, when you have a free moment. (Do such things exist?) Thanks!

[abirke in reply to pzagy]

Well it's only me nowadays so I don't do much cooking....at all...crackers and ice cream has been my meal of choice....put on some of my daughters pants that used to be tight....I've lost a kg or two!But thank you for the recipe offer....Christmas is near so I'll have to cook one more time before end of year! hahah.....AND I am proud to say that my pumpkin, pecan pie and banana bread was all very good....surprise!

Now I liked everything you had to say except the part where you said. "I have blocked all emotions" I know that we have to keep our self strong and able to take what ever problems arise. But I do hope that you give yourself a release a respite and that someone is there for you....You are a good person pzagy...I want good things for you!

AVB

[pzagy in reply to abirke]

and BTW abirke, I have lived my whole life with one situation after another, my family have always been the type of people to get things done and think later...we release, but only when things are done. I'm programmed to be that way ans it has worked for now.

It's like having a deadline at work, you don't think about the daunting task at hand, you take it one piece at a time and in the end its done.

Pumpkin pie, pecan pie and banana bread???? All my favs I had a dear freind of my moms that would make the best pecan tarts....briback memories, I hope you kick it out of the park this Christmas with those lovely desserts

[abirke in reply to pzagy]

Well I must say, I admire that sort of determination......GET IT DONE!....I'm sort of a nervous nellie who 2d thinks stuff...which then leads of course, procrastination....but give me a deadline....and i can get both barrels out hahahaha!!! I'm glad you recognize and appreciate your up bringing....

Well you give me a couple of good Christmas recipes and maybe I can kick Christmas out of the park.....Can we do that here? I mean its not exactly about PSP....and my husband can only swallow very creamy thick food like my pumpkin pie! He got to eat some last night....I was so happy! I gave him a cracker the other day....I started calling the ambulance when he started choking......I promised him I'd never give him any thing by mouth again!!!! poor baby....stupid me... what he could do a month ago does not mean he can do now......

[pzagy in reply to abirke]

if your husband can only swallow creamy soups here is another one

5 large yellow potatoes

2 carrots, 2 celery stalks

1 large onion

1 leek (only the green top)

2 bay leaf

1 beef boullion or 1 beef bone (when Im lazy I use the bullion)

1 bunch of kale

heavy cream

spanish dried chorizo or italian

Prepare all your veg and place into a large pot fill the pot to the top with water add a little salt and set to boil, I like to cut the potaoes in half or quarter if they are large

Kale preparation-remove the stalk from the kale you only want the nice green leaves, steam or boil until tender. Strain then chop us unto small pieces

Once the veg are all cooked, remove celery, bay leaf and leeks, they did their job. Slowly put the remining veg into a blender add the water a bit at a time until you get a nice rich soup. Re heat and add the heavy cream may half a cup to make the soup nice and creamy then add kale....ymmm

[abirke in reply to pzagy]

That sounds really good....what makes it so creamy?

[pzagy in reply to abirke]

the potatoes and cream,

[abirke in reply to pzagy]

oh see that's my first folly in cooking; I don't see all the ingredients...hahahah

[pzagy]

crackers and ice cream!!!!! I need to help you out. Here is the recipe for pasta carbonnara,

1 egg

2 tbsp parmiggiano reggiano

onions

pancetta or bacon

spaghetti

salt to taste

So, while your pasta is boiling, you get a medium skillet and put in your chopped onion, and pancetta or bacon in a little bit of oil or butter if you want to indulge, once the spaghetti is cooked transfer it to the pan with the onion/pancetta adding a little of the water from the boiling pasta

let that sit for a second and in a bowl beat the egg and cheese, pour that into the pan with the pasta, stir it up until the egg is cooked and there you have pasta carbonnara

an alternative would be to cook up some veg, anything you like and cook it with the bacon and onion, I like zucchini, eggplant, sundried tomato and leeks, I love leeks...dont put the egg and cheese into this. Add pasta and away you go great healthy pasta that will keep in the fridge too

Omlettes, now that is another great way to get all your nutrients in one place...tonnes of veg all cooked up with a few eggs

These are my "OMG I have 20 min to get dinner on the table dishes and my family loves them

[abirke in reply to pzagy]

Yes I love omelets too.....and if I had a little extra time I would make Quiche.....Can you go wrong with eggs? Boil, scramble , fry, bake or just plain mix in to make the rest of the food work ...they are great...

I will try your pasta carbonarra....sounds so good! Thank you pzagy!

((HUGS))

AVB