My sister is still "in there"...

[costner]

Jan 21, 2018

This morning Melissa woke me up at 4:00am - I couldn’t believe she was up so early – she had talked to her “hallucinatory people” until almost 1:00 am. When I went to her room in a sleepy stupor she welcomed me with a smile and said “ Hi……” Like she hadn’t seen me in a long time.

I could smell the urine from her night brief and decided to get her up, shower her, change and dress her for the day. I was bracing myself for the usual resistance – she does not like the change in temperature which will undoubtedly happen when doffing night clothes and getting into the shower. Her brain registers this temp change as pain… I suppose... at least she screams like she is in pain. Then she gets mad at me for putting her through it, and I work hard to not get mad at her. It’s a morning ritual that our family refers to as Melissa’s “wake-up call”.

But this morning she cooperated every step of the way. While I was doing the hygiene steps, I asked her if she could please try to go back to sleep after she was dressed and had a little nutrition drink. She responded in multiples…. “ okay, okay, okay, okay…..”

Then when I finally got her back to bed, I said while walking to the bedroom door, “Melissa, you should be comfortable can you please try to sleep?” As I turned to close the door and flip the light switch, she looked at me and said, “Thank you”….. I say, “you’re welcome” as I close the door - and then for some reason, I started to cry.

It’s the first time I have cried since learning that my sister has this horrible condition called CBD. I am not usually an emotional person – I am the person who springs into action, fixing problems coming up with solutions. So now I am wide awake, crying and nothing to do except reflect on why a little ‘thank you’ could make me react like this. Then I figure it out. My sister is slipping away – little by little by CBD, but I am lucky to be part of this stage of Melissa’s life. It can be frustrating to go through some of the more challenging behaviors this condition presents, but then at 4:00am I am given the gift of seeing my TRUE sweet sister that is still there… the one that gets suppressed by CBD…. But she is STILL there – I have not lost her yet!

[Marie_14]

I am cracking up again! I just replied to your post but think on your initial post when you joined the site. Sorry!

I am so delighted that you saw the sister you love so much again. I am not surprised it made you cry. It made me cry and I don't know her. We all need to remind ourselves that our loved ones are still inside their bodies. I hope you can see her again as she used to be. She is a lucky lady to have such a good sister and nephew. I am glad he keeps her amused.

Hugs.

Marie x

[costner in reply to Marie_14]

Thanks Marie, everyone is so supportive on this site.

[Hidden]

Your a wonderful sister,even if she dose not show it often.

Take care of yourself.

Dee

[Duffers]

The love of two sisters is a wonderful thing. I know because I have a wonderful, supportive sister myself. She is away at the moment and I miss her so much. A little tear being shed here reading your post. Take care of yourself.

[costner in reply to Duffers]

Anyone who has a sister can relate - hope you are with your sister soon.

[wear1947]

So sorry.

[Yvonneandgeorge]

Sending you a massive hug xxxx

[Babowen898]

What a beautiful gift you were given! I am sure your tears were those of gratitude. Hugs, Ann

[costner in reply to Babowen898]

YES! That word describes my feeling exactly....Grateful for seeing my sister the way I remembered her before the disease.

[rriddle]

What a sweet moment you shared with your sister!