Ridiculous questions

After a visit from a GP carers support worker she decided I should be referred to social services as I care for my husband 24/7 without assistance . She thought I should have some flexible break vouchers and my husband should go to hospice for one day a week on a short therapy counselling course. Since her visit I have had over the past 24 hours 3 phone calls from 3 different people at social services, all asking the same questions.

The best of which was " is my emotional and physical health affected". I wanted to reply that I was thriving and had never been better.

Another one was " do you do any volunteering work ".......now when would I fit that in ? Then , "is your husband able to go out on his own on a bus " What !!!!!!!!!

Is it me ??? I despair.

24 Replies

  • Bureaucracy at it's finest! If It's not the ridiculous questions it is The constant asking of the same questions....

    Well hopefully after they stop bumbling over themselves, they will be a help to you....


  • Omg

    What absolute nonsense!

    I fear the world has gone mad!!

    What I'd like to know is, who is the moron (that's putting it politely) that thinks this all up?

    Quite honestly I could wring their necks!

    So NO, it's not you, it's them!!


  • It's absolutely ridiculous, I think they think we're making everything up, all I can say to that, is that they should try caring for someone with this illness, then maybe then and only then would they understand!

    Hope you get it sorted soon, you have enough to do and think about without all their nonsense!

    Love and hugs....Pat xx

  • Crazy!!!!

    In our area now, if something different it occurring with my husband, the person who sees him, or who I speak to first, flags it up on her computer and it goes to everyone else involved, GP, hospice, neuro rehab, social services etc in 3 different towns. I then get phone calls from all of them asking the same sort of questions.

    As you haven't had Social Services involvement up until now, I expect your husbands details were flagged up on lots of computers belonging to people who haven't a clue who he is, hence the stupid questions. The idea of sharing information is a good idea if all those involved speak to each other and find out about the person before asking carers idiotic questions.

    When it was decided to give C a PEG, I started getting lots of calls from every department we have been involved with. When the hospital doctor phoned me, I asked him if he could tell who had received notification of the PEG fitting. He said he could so I very politely asked him to contact them all advising them of what is going to happen as I was fed up with saying the same thing. He rang me the next day and said he had either spoken to or emailed them all.

    I can understand how someone who doesn't know your husband, would want to know how independent and mobile he is but what on earth has volunteering got to do with anything.



  • Very interesting , I was actually told by one of the callers that it was on her screen that I dressed, bathed, and did everything for him., I think it's a standard questionnaire they read from .

    I wondered how any carer requiring social services help could possibly find time to do volunteering work, stupid question.

    About time in this day and age all the info was linked up.

    Love to you and Colin x

  • Definitely not you! They seem to know how to make a bad enough situation just that little bit worse. Best wishes to you both xx

  • I'm sure they're not on the same planet! Xx

  • I am feeling clever on the question about voluntary work..... only because i asked why did you ask such a stupid question.

    If you have time to do voluntary work then you have time to do paid work. So being as i volunteer to put my neighbours eye drops in each day (10 mins) i could perhaps either charge her or even get a paid job for that amount of time.

    One very tired stressed out lady willing to work for 10-15 minutes per day willing to travel as far as 20 yards.


  • They hope you will get fed up and go away..... Problem solved ( not yours)!

  • No it's not you gw, it's the jobsworth box tickers.

    Hugs 'n' all then


  • Well thank you all for your comments, another phone call this morning informs me that the flexible break voucher system is ending in April.!!!! So much for my plans of a bit of " me " time. I don't know if this is just my council or a government. I feel hysterical laughter coming on . Love to all xx

  • Probably a government guidline but implemented by the local council. The trouble is both the government and council are trying to save money and it seems like the sick and needy are the ones that have to suffer.


  • Hi sounds like the social services are Buck passing hoping you go away, don't. Have you tried contacting your local Carers trust (Google: Carers Trust - and then put in your post code and the local contacts should be highlighted) they are a voluntary aided group that can arrange sitting services, talking therapy etc. They will need to do an assessment but I found the lady helpful and after 5 yrs she still keeps in touch checking on me and M offering help. Try them, advantage not linked to NHS or local Social Sevices but can influence them.

    Best wishes Tim

  • Thank you Tim I will try that .x

  • Speachless!

  • Summed up nicely.xx

  • Comments that doting yo mind are:

    Dumber and Dumber.

    Where's my gun?

    Are you 'avin a laugh!

    Pull the other one, it's got fells on it!

    Unbelievable what you have to endure such idiotic comments, you have enough to contend with already. I do hope that it all turns out OK and you get your much deserved respite. x

  • Thank you, it's quite hysterical really and got even funnier this afternoon when Age UK rang as my name had been put forward as in need of handyman / gardener. They rang to say he doesn't do gardening , he couldn't put a pane of glass in my shed window or take an old carpet up. However if needed he can put a lightbulb in, change a washer on tap or put a shelf up. I thanked them profusely !!!!!

    Today is a reasonable day and I really do see a funny side to all this , but catch me on another day and it could well be the straw that breaks the camels back.x

  • Its "funny" in a bizarre , heartbreaking way. Our heart lifts when it feels as if something useful is being offered. Why is there nearly always a downside ?

    There is only going to be less and less available, looking at the budget.

    We will, of course, get on with it.

    lots of love, Jean x

  • Oh so true.....the support worker who offered me these services obviously knew nothing of impending changes. Only one thing left now that was talked about and that's to see f husband can attend hospice for therapy , I'm not holding my breath. I'll soon be back to square one. Lovely to have this site to share the ups and downs xx

  • Does he go to a hospice at all ?

    Chris goes once a week.Has done for over a year. Its my lifesaver. He enjoys it and I am free from 10.00 to 3.00

    Hope it happens.

    Love, Jean x

  • No ,and he can do nothing just sit in chair all day, I try to take him out for a drive and change of scenery at least 4 times a week. He can only be left for very short time once toileted,I do hope he gets in hospice for few hours a week, if so I am told it's only for 12 weeks. I try not to ask family to sit unless I'm desperate as they work, it means they have to take time off. Xx

  • I know others say they have a 12 week slot and then a break. Clearly I am very lucky. Hope it happens soon.

    I also find it hard to ask family but today my son came and worked here so I could have 4 hours off.

    They do want to help.....Its hard to ask.

    love, Jean x

  • Me too!


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