My Bank!

I will name names here, HSBC. had a episode With them this week. When S started to have problems communicating, I went to our bank, explained the situation and asked for their advice. I was told I had to fill in a third party form, so I could talk to the bank about S's accounts. Had to this about 3 times, before it started to work. Had to phone them this week to activate his debit card. Yes, of course, they had never heard of this third party form, I definitely didn't have it set up for S! Feeling very tired, I lost the plot. Kept telling the guy he had it wrong, but no, he insisted on speaking to S. So I phoned our Premier Account manager, extremely cross and very upset, threatened to take our accounts elsewhere. We had just met this guy, so he was well aware of S's condition. Anyway, he did sort it out, the third party mandate was set up, he just wasn't doing his job properly! Had to go into the bank to sort the card out, the bank manager was expecting us and called us into a private room. Couldn't apologise enough and we got £20 put into our account, for the upset it caused me!!!!

Not bothered about the money,but it's a couple of bottles of wine! It's just the principle. Why have these facilities, if you don't operate them. Haven't we got enough to cope with, without little upstarts, not doing their job properly. Where was their training? It's these little things that really get me down. People ask what they can do for us carers, simple really, for folk to do their jobs!!!

Lots of love


21 Replies

  • Here here to your last sentence Heady. I'm not surprised you lost the plot. I hope you don't have any problems next time you need to contact them.


  • Maybe they should become careers for a week and see if there attitude changes, haven't we got enough to cope with without all the mix up banks do? Well lovely little boy to cuddle Heady, love to have a cuddle xxxxx x

  • Had a pig of a day too - by the way you had better not drink my wine - I would get 5 bottles of Aldi's best out of £20. Kills all known throat infections just like that -mind you my wife always said I had an asbestos gullet !


  • My daughter said Aldi's wine is nice, but George she normally buys 3 bottles for 20 pounds, don't drink wine myself. X.

  • good on yer heady ' GO GET EM MATEY' peter jones queensland Australia psp sufferer

  • I'm not sure where you live I'm in the UK. From my experience trying to deal with my Mum's affairs, I strongly recommend that you apply for Power of Attorney, it's quite a long process and needs to be done by a solicitor. This gives you control over all matters.

    Sorry you've had a bad experience, but going forward with POA trying to sort things out without this document is almost impossible.

    Best wishes

  • Just a quick reply - power of Attorney does not require a Solicitor. I did it myself for my mum. It does take time to sort out the forms but at least I saved about £400! But yes I do agree it is a good idea to have Power of Attorney.

  • Some people just can't walk in someone else's shoes can they! Hope it's all worked itself out now. I had the same problem when my son had cards, passport and money stolen in a remote part of Bolivia. Nightmare trying to get money out to him but eventually bank did help. Very stressful. Xx

  • These boys! I had similar problems with one of mine. First he lost his wallet with money, cards etc snowboarding down a mountain in Switzerland and very soon after had his new wallet stolen on the underground railway in Mexico. Each time I had to sort it for him, us living in Kent and his bank being in Cornwall. A nightmare! Pleased to say he is now all grown up and married to a very organised young lady who has to sort out his mishaps instead of me.


  • I do have power of attorney, but if you let the bank have a copy, then that stops your loved one being able to do anything for themselves. S is more than capable of making decisions, just can't communicate them very well. Certainly not on the phone!

    Lots of love


  • Hi Heady. Sorry to hear about your expectations with the bank. Something similar happened to me, different bank. All I wanted to do was move the utility direct debits from hubby's into my account (at a different bank). I had Power of attorney. No chance, went several times to see different people, by appointment. All the appointments had been confirmed by them, every time I turned up they claimed they were not aware of my appointment. In the end I gave up. Either they did not know how a PoA works or did not want to move dd's into another bank.

    Hope you have a good day today. Hugs, maddy

  • Hi

    If you have the current standard lasting power of attorney downloaded from the government website for Property and Financial Affairs then as soon as the document is registered, you will be able to act as attorney whether your husband retains or lacks mental capacity UNLESS he has put a restriction in the power of attorney. Assuming he has no such restriction (you will need to check) if you were to use that for talking to your bank, that does NOT preclude your husband from also acting in his own name on another occasion.

    See page 2 of 11 "when your attorney can act for you":

    However if you have a power of attorney for Health and Welfare (which of course does not help with your problem with the bank) you can ONLY use that when your husband lacks mental capacity to make his own decisions. I.e as soon as you act under that, it is presumed that you, as attorney, have taken the decision that he no longer has mental capacity and it would be difficult (but not impossible) to prove that such loss of capacity was only transitory.

    The reason for the difference is that the Property and Financial Affairs POA is not linked to mental capacity in the same way that the Health POA is.

    You should check the precise terms of your power-of-attorney, and the above will not apply if your document is not the current standard government document, for example if it has been drafted by a solicitor.

    I presume you will have both POAs in place, and if not I can recommend doing so, so long as your husband has mental capacity to enter into them. They have been most helpful whilst dealing with my Dads affairs and makes sure that nobody quibbles over your authority. At this point, my Dad lacks mental capacity, so I am extremely glad that we got the powers of attorney when we could! We downloaded the forms online and completed them ourselves, just needing to pay the government fee.

    Hope that helps 😀

  • Is that what HBBC told you Heady? That's insane. My Mum banked with the Nat West Bank. After they copied my POA, they issued me with a cheque book that still had Mums name on and mine as POA. We both could sign cheques. I was also issued with a bank card but again Mums was still active. To be honest the Nat West were always so helpful, especially after Mum passed either on the phone or in the branch.

    My personal and business accounts have been with the HSBC for 20 years, their customer service has declined rapidly over the years, they truly are a nightmare. I find shouting helps 😊

    Good luck Sweetie x

  • Dear Heady, you may come to face more of those problems with other institutions. Basically if you want to represent S you need what is called a 'Lasting Power of Attorney' (LPA). There are two types:

    1. LPA for Property & Finance Affairs

    2. LPA for Health & Welfare

    3. Living Will

    The first one you should provide to any financial institutions for which S is the only account holder. It is also important for Internet Banking. For example if you or S locked themselves out because of typing in the passwords three times incorrectly. I am not certain that a third party mandate would cover all that

    The second one is extremely important when S can no longer make any decisions by himself and you should be able to make hose decisions in his best interest. That LPA should be made available to the GP and the Hospital where S is or will be treated and / or any other institution such as Palliative Care, Parkinsons' nurse, etc.

    And I also recommend that you have both a Living Will. That basically tells the Health Care Authorities what you want and what you do not want. Without a Living Will you cannot influence any treatment outcome.

    The best is to talk to a lawyer specialised in the above matters and who can explain everything in details.

    Last but not least, should you both not have a Last Will, it is time to get one. The path is littered with people who have found out to their detriment the financial problems they were suddenly faced with because they had not arranged for a Last Will when either party was still capable mentally to consent

  • I empathise having the saame problem with BT who want certified copy of lasting power of attorney doctors etc dont aask for it makess me a bit cross

  • I didn't find the same with BT, they put a note on their system that I could speak about the account. It might be worth writing a note/email of complaint to them, which might have the desired result!

    However, obtaining a certified copy of the POA is probably a good idea as someone will no doubt as for it at some point in a different organisation and then you will have it up your sleeve ready to send out. I haven't been asked for one yet having said that but I can understand why it may be required.

    A solicitor can do you a certified copy and they usually charge around £5 for doing so, it's a very quick and easy job. I would be inclined just to pop into any solicitor on your local high street and ask them nicely if they can do it then and there.

    Best wishes x

  • Made me smile.... Oh HSBC.... J decided it would be sensible to put her HSBC acc. In joint names. So we attended a meeting with the local mgr, and despite passports, with J (my wife yes) sat beside me he insisted that he see a gas bill as proof of address. I said, ok, I'll email you a copy when I get home. He said, no it's got to be an original. I said but I only get electronic bills. I'll print one off and send it you. No it's got to be original........ Yee gods. Anyway, some weeks later I get a letter saying could I pop into the Fenchurch St. Branch to pick up my debit card. (We live in S Devon). A quick phone I thought, and they'll put it In the post like NatWest. Don't be silly........

    I won't go on, we've got people to care for!

  • Indeed. Insurance or billing agents or credit card ppl all want to get Bruces approval before they talk to me....You want to talk to him? good luck with that. they ask their qs and B answers them in his weak high pitched slurred voice and all is good. One acct. actually sent me a form so as to be his the word....I filled it in he "signed" it and now I can call them with out the big to do ! Our bank accepts his endorsed checks even though he can no longer write but they say its because I am on the acct.....

    No help just a thought


  • Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

    The courage to change things I cannot accept and

    Enough self control to stop me from slapping those who get on my last nerve!!



  • Brilliant!!!

    Lots of love


  • Heady

    This sounds so familiar, had same problem with NatWest but local branch very helpful when situation explained. They even ignore head office instructions which includes questioning our Power of attorney, will be ok until they close the branch. It is very interesting idea about Living will thanks Gerko.

    On another banking matter where they can really upset people when at their lowest, having just completed probate for my mother you may also consider setting up setting up a bank account in your own name it took me over 3 weeks to get the bank to release my mother's funds. It means that when the end arrives you at least have access to some cash as banks often freeze accounts including joint ones waiting for probate. The issue is that power of attorney and 3 rd party mandates cease to be valid on death of one partner, while wills take weeks to be proved by probate.

    Anyway enjoy the wine best wishes Tim

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