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Prostate Cancer And Gay Men

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New guy here


Hey guys, I’m new here. I live in St.Louis. I had a prostatectomy on February 11th,2021. I’m healing well but have so many concerns and questions. I’m happy to be among so many that have experienced the same as me. I’m anxious to read your posts.

14 Replies

Welcome Kevin! Seven years for me. I have had good response. Was nerve sparing. What are your questions? I have used a pump to maintain penis muscle. Daily Cialis to continue blood flow. I am lucky to have only minimum dripping of urine. Get firm erections but have embraced bottoming.

Kevceb in reply to GeejayMN

With me they had to take more nerves than originally planned. Not sure yet how that is going to fare for me. I’ve heard some guys can climax without an erection. Anyone know about this?

GeejayMN in reply to Kevceb

Totally. I have had great climax at all stages of erection. I really miss no cum but it is much less messy! One guy got me of twice within ten minutes. Very skilled orally. The climax can be very intense.

Hi Kev, I’m six months post surgery. I have had great success recovering. No incontinence. No erections yet but using trimix for now. It gets better. Feel free to private message if you have questions.

Bubba48 in reply to Data69

I had my Prostate removed 2 years ago. Still have incontinence no erections.

Welcome. Start penile rehab ASAP. Here's a good book about it:

It's not just erectile function - it's size loss and climacteria too. Loss of ejaculate may take some getting used to.

Kevceb in reply to Tall_Allen

I’m scheduled to start rehab next week. The leaking is driving me crazy. Also I hate that I can’t get an erection..yet. I have noticed my penis seems a bit smaller. I guess that is normal. You guys have all been so helpful. Thank you.

Hello there - welcome to the group - they are really a caring and helpful bunch of guys - I have learned much from them. Best of luck to you. I am at one year now - giant uphill battle believe me.

Kevceb in reply to Yehonatan

Thank you

Hi Kev

Good luck with your rehab.

I have no leakage and, with Cialis, get good erections. A boost of viagra is fabulous for a great session.

Erections can take time to return so rehab is really important.

Get yourself a physio who specialises in men urinary health. They help a lot in training you to do the exercises that strengthen the muscles that control the flow.

After the shock of diagnosis, comes the treatment and then the rehab. There can be dark times in that journey but, at the end, there is the light. Life won’t be the same but it can be very good.

Keep well

Hi Kev. I hope your recovery is going well. Remember. It is still only a few weeks since the surgery, so give yourself time to come to terms with it. I had my prostatectomy August 2020 and was a bit of a basket case for a while after. More nerves were removed than initially hoped. It took a few months for the incontinence to subside, but it did eventually. Do your Kegels to strengthen the pelvic muscles. Also, use a vacuum pump as soon as possible as this will keep the blood flowing to the penis. Don't overdo it though as it can have adverse effects. Take Cialis every day if possible. You will not have erections but again, it will keep blood flowing. Eventually, I would suggest that you should try the injections to achieve erections. I'm not a fan as I tried an injection called Caverject which worked but found the erections very painful. But a lot of the guys here have tried bimix (which I have not tried) and they say that it is not painful.

Most of all, be good to yourself. I found that I went off the rails after my operation and am only now getting a bit of normality back into my life. If you can, talk to someone who has been through the operation and preferably a gay guy. Though we share many similar concerns with straight men, our perspective and concerns are quite different.

Kind regards



I am glad you are healing well. My prostrate was removed, long enough ago that I have to think for a little bit to remember what year. Living without a prostrate was not what I expected. Not sure what I expected. It is different for everybody. For me, the most important thing was keeping a sense of humor about it. It was very difficult to keep any sense of dignity. But, I found being able to talk about it helped me find the humor in it all.

I do stand-up comedy every now and again. After Covid is managed I will be doing a lot more. One of the local Gay bars did a comedy night. I did 10 minutes on the prostate cancer experience. Great therapy. Stuff like: As I was being wheeled off into surgery my doctor said "I forgot to tell you this will probably make your penis smaller" I heard my partner gasp "oh no it's not that big to start with." That got a pretty big laugh.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have. XO

Hi Kevceb,

I am 8 Days Post RALP. I value the posts on this site. The post helped me wade through the treatment options. I know every guy is different. Let me know if you have any advice for the first month and moving forward.


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