Newly diagnosed with Prostate Cancer - Prostate Cancer A...

Prostate Cancer And Gay Men

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Newly diagnosed with Prostate Cancer

DMVPaPa profile image
14 Replies

I am a 54 year old married gay man with two daughters. I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer with a Gleason 3+4=7. Hoping to get some feedback on others experience with treatments and dealing with cancer in general.

14 Replies
Tall_Allen profile image

How many positive cores?

DMVPaPa profile image
DMVPaPa in reply to Tall_Allen

Two cores

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen in reply to DMVPaPa

Then your risk group is "favorable intermediate," which means that you have a high probability of being cured by SBRT, brachytherapy, or surgery. No need for hormone therapy or combination treatments. You have plenty of time to meet with doctors and decide, Where are you located?

MarkBarnes profile image

Read, read, and talk to people. Lots of books available, and lots of choices.

NEPA profile image

First, everyone is different and whatever you choose will be right.

I learned of my prostate cancer when I was 57 with a PSA score of 4.6. The biopsy indicated 2 cores with Gleason 3+3 cancer. Less than 3 months post biopsy, on 3-8-17 my prostate was removed by Dr. Lee at the University of Pennsylvania (5000+ procedures). 20 hours post surgery I was on my way home with a Rx for pain relief (it was never filled as Tylenol was all Ineeded). I had my first erection while the catheter was still in place and stopped using urine pads 6 weeks post surgery. Today the six small scars on my belly and lack of semen are the only differences in my life. I asked my surgeon why I did so well and he explained I was “young and fit”.” I was neither 57 years old and 30lbs overweight).

Everyone is different, but this has been my experience. Good luck with your decision making!

Skip66 profile image
Skip66 in reply to NEPA

Hey NEPA thank you for posting your experience. It gives me hope I’m 54 and average weight for my height (5”7/155). I am about 4 weeks post surgery and my continence I think is starting to normalize if there is such a thing as being normal. I’ve been using pads in my underwear during the day and at night I use the depends. I’ve started noticing i get up at night for the urge to go which I think is good. If I go out in public I take along a penis clamp to prevent any leakage. Yea it sounds like some BDSM torture device but it seems to help somewhat.

Twice a day I’ve been using an electric kegal stimulator to build up my kegals. I look forward to the day I can be pad free and no leaks. As far as erections I’ve been taking the 5mg cialis at night and have noticed the guy getting somewhat hard in the middle of the night. I haven’t masterbated because the first time I tried I dribbled piss. So been kind of leary about that till I get the continence under control. I’ve been thinking of doing the pump as some have suggested.

EdinBmore profile image

Sorry for the diagnosis.

Some things that I found helpful: learn as much as you can - from reading, videos, etc. Read Patrick Walsh's "Surviving Prostate Cancer;" good explanation of what may lie ahead - from active surveillance to surgery to radiation. Don't be shy about getting second and third opinions from urologists, radiation oncologists, and medical oncologists. Ask questions and get complete responses that you understand. No medical mumbo jumbo allowed. Oh, and log onto the National Comprehensive Cancer Network - they have the latest recommendations regarding treatment; they match diagnosis to treatment options.

Btw, I went from AS to treatment over 7 yrs. Treatments included hormones (UGH), external beam (25 of those), and brachytherapy (39 seeds). Treatment procedures were not the issue for me; it's the side effects. The side effects are powerful and long lasting; hormones have been the worst for me.

Good luck to you.


DMVPaPa profile image
DMVPaPa in reply to EdinBmore

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate you sharing treatment and what to expect.

Dreamweaverman profile image

Hey DMV, I too am married with 2 daughters. %2 years old here. Had Radical Prostatectomy back in August and will most likely be starting HT and RT soon. My experience is that I did not experience much incontinence post surgery. I wore thin pads for about a month and a half and now I get little leakage every now and then when at gym. I started sexual rehab with Dr. Mulhall at Memorial Sloane Kettering back in November, and it seems to be working. Much of my concern lies with side affects of coming treatments, so I am exploring all my options. Glad you found us and remember you are not alone on this journey!

Boston1967 profile image
Boston1967 in reply to Dreamweaverman

Dream, what is sexual rehab? I watched the Dr Mulhall utube video and called my urologist. I was basically referred to the men’s health clinic for injections. Is there more to the rehab besides Cialis and injections?

Dreamweaverman profile image
Dreamweaverman in reply to Boston1967

Hey Boston, Dr. Mulhall has a book on sexual rehabilitation. It is basically the use it or lose it theory. He suggests 2-3 times a week that the penis should be getting ton full erection to avoid atrophy.

Boston1967 profile image
Boston1967 in reply to Dreamweaverman

That makes sense and I’m glad I was doing this on my own... I’m hoping the injections will make it easier

ELPJr profile image

Here’s a video of Dr Muhall.

NYTwin profile image

Hi DMV, Reiterating what others have already mentioned, there are lots of options available and you should look into all of them before making a treatment choice. If you go to a surgeon they are most likely to recommend surgery, but you should ask about a radiology approach and also what other options are available and then decide on the treatment choice with which you will be most comfortable.

Wishing you a great outcome whatever your decision!

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