things that surprised you about prostate cancer

[Darryl]

For a list I will post here, please reply with one or more things that surprised you about prostate cancer after you were diagnosed and up until today. Things about the disease, treatments, journey, your home, family, friends, and work-life....anything you can characterize as a surprise or unexpected aspect about prostate cancer. Thanks.

[Hidden]

If you catch it early enough and it doesn't metastasize, it doesn't alter your live very much. The remedies vary; I know many men who do the medical maintenance. I chose the radical prostatectomy to get rid of all of it as soon as possible since I was recommended to do that by my urologist (who is also a surgeon; what a surprise). The radical prostatectomy is no walk in the park. I is painful and alters your life completely. But I had a penile implant put in and my life is as good or better than it was before this whole thing happened.

[Scoofer33]

On the physical side I've been surprised that getting OxyContin (timed release) for my bone pain has been fraught with such difficulty. I've done everything in my power to change this situation but I'm continually fighting the pharmacy to get pain relief on time. I have Oxycodone (immediate release) to relieve my breakthrough pain, and have to rely on this when they delay filling my prescription of the timed release product. loved ones tell me this doesn't work as well because they notice my mood changes and I'm irritable. I feel that I'm continually punished for the irresponsibility of those who misuse Oxy.

On the emotional side I'm one of those odd ducks who'd prepared myself for bad news prior to my diagnosis, so I've been in a state of acceptance since the beginning. Professionals have assured me that, in their experience, patients experience all stages of grief before the end. We'll see.

Since my wife's world view is the same as mine and we've raised our adult children with my values I assumed they would accept my prognosis with ease. Boy, was I wrong.

My daughter is raising three young daughters while working full time. She's a little cold and distant around me. This is in the interest of self-preservation. She feels if she got in touch with the reality of what I'm really going through that she would come undone and be unable to take care of her family. She realizes she'll regret not using the time to speak more intimately with me, but it's what she feels she must do now. Bottom line, there has never been anything unspoken between us. She's often been reassured of my respect and love for her and vice versa.

With training from me at an early age, my son followed me into the world of art, eventually far exceeding my humble talent and drive to become an artist for Disney. We have a wonderful relationship. He assures me he will emotionally implode when I pass.

My lovely wife did not share my view either. After 8 years she's come to terms with my impending death, but loses it whenever she gets solid reminders that my condition is worsening. I regret that my cancer is causing her to experience so much pain while I'm still around, let alone how devastated she'll be to lose me.

I have a strong faith which causes me to not grieve without hope, so I don't fear death. I tell myself that dying will be an awfully great adventure to boost my morale. I hope I'll be able to keep that perspective as I concentrate on scriptural promises in hospice, whenever that day comes.