Thank you for this place.

[Borntopaint]

I have been trying for 4 years to live in the moment but I am secretly always grieving over his very aggressive prostate cancer. He feels good and has been in remission nearly all of the 4 years since Dx. We are both 68 and would like to downsize but we have no clue if we need to live near his hospital, will I be living there alone someday. It is the unknowns and lack. Of control. Do you folks struggle with this ?

[Lee70]

I do get sad from time to time when I think we won’t be together one day, but mostly live in the present, as constantly being sad robs you of joy & happiness now, plus who knows, I may be the one to go first. I try to just live a day at a time. Also lots of men live many years with PC. Best wishes Lee

[dogscats-himandme]

We were in a similar situation in 2017. We sold our house and temporarily relocated out of state to our vacation home in a very rural area. The oral cancer medication had stopped working, and he could not tolerate the second one. He began to decline rapidly, but since he did not have a local doctor no testing could be ordered. More than once we were told to go back to his oncologist, more than a day's drive away. My advice: If you are close to his doctors and hospital, stay nearby. Pretend you are moving and start the downsizing process now - it's always more than you think it will be. Best wishes.

[Borntopaint in reply to dogscats-himandme]

We are an hour away from his Dr.s. At some point I would imagine we will have to take a cab because I don't drive much any more (especially in the traffic nighmare that we have to get through.) You idea of starting to box things up makes a lot of sense. Before he was diagnosed we lived VERY near his Docs but he wasn't sick and was having to drive an hour each way to work...so we moved near his work. Now we need to be back where we were. I can't help but second guess every thing at this point.

[Hidden]

Hello,

I am 51. My guy is 52. He was diagnose with stage 4b PCa on August 10th. I struggle every day... our future has been robbed from us! All of our dreams shattered! How does one ever come to grips with this reality?

[WVtwinsmama in reply to Hidden]

My 51yo husband was diagnosed March 20, 2018 with Stage 4 PC with significant mets throughout his skeleton and a PSA of 980. Today, a mere 8 months later his PSA is less than 1, and he’s doing very well. Back in March I had very much the same thoughts as you posted, future is robbed, dreams shattered. We have 3 children, live on a rural farm I kept thinking “I don’t know how to do this without him! But our oncologist keeps telling us, if there ever was a time to have PC, now is that time. There are so many treatments and new ones coming on the market all the time. So we live for today, celebrate the PSA reduction victory for now, and when what we’re doing now stops working we’ll try something else. Prayers for you and your guy!!

[Hidden in reply to WVtwinsmama]

Hello, What is your husband's treatment? Koy's treatment is lupron, zytiga, prednisone and monthly zometa. Does your husband have bone pain and does he suffer from fatigue?

[WVtwinsmama in reply to Hidden]

He had an orchiectomy immediately after diagnosis to halt testosterone permanently, then started Chemo (taxotere), was to do 6 cycles but only got thru 3 due to suffering extreme swelling and retention around his heart and lungs. So now does daily Zytiga and prednisone. He does Zometa every 6 months (has done 2 so far). Has pain but think that is mostly due to back issues unrelated to the cancer but untreatable for now due to the cancer in his bones). But all in all he’s doing great for now. No significant fatigue but does deal with heat flashes pretty often.