Uncompleted miscarriage. I need some answers please!!!!

[gerti2006]

Hello everyone

I am supposed to be 11 weeks pregnant when I had a scan 2 days ago where they said to me no heart beat, baby hasn't developed since has been 7 and half weeks, which I was shocked because I never had any bleeding or any pain, I still have pregnancy symptoms. To confirm that is no heart beat I have another scan on 17 of January.I am devastated because it was my first pregnancy and I am 40. I have no idea what is going to happen next, do I have to wait to miscarriage? if yes how long is going to be. I did some research on the internet which I can go for small operation or with pill but I don;t know how I am going to feel. The other thing is I am going to travel on 24 of January to visit my family. Am I going to be able to fly. I am so confused. Dis someone have gone through this and what what experience has been. Thank you ladies, I really need some answers.

[kay2010]

My baby stopped growing at 6weeks and i started bleeding at 12weeks. I think its what they call a missed miscarriage. They baby came out naturally and after my first period i got pregnant with my now 7yo son. Chin up hun and i wish you all the best x

[Numberthree]

If there is no hearbeat at this stage (week 11), I would have thought it's probably a miscarriage unfortunately. The doctors will have booked you in for a scan to check 100% as they will want to check your dates are correct as if they are wrong and you are only 6 or so weeks it would be hard to find a heartbeat yet. If you're sure on your dates, then I would now expect that either you will naturally start to miscarry and bleed in the next week and if that doesn't happen, the doctors will either induce you to start or do a d&c which is effectively where they remove the plancenta and remains of the baby in a fairly straight forward procedure. It took me a day of so to recover after an induction to miscarry but i was quite a bit further along so would guess you may be ok to travel - there is nothing to stop you apart from how you feel. I know that this is answer is very dry but i've tried to be as helpful with the facts that i found out through my experience. However, I hope it's a case of miscalculated dates for you. My deepest sympathies if it turns out the baby hasn't made it - good news is that the biggest challenge is getting pregnant and you've proved you can do that.

[rhibot]

Hi, such sad news. I'm in a similar position, waiting for the 2nd scan to confirm, though I'm 8 weeks also no pain or bleeding. I also lost another last year at 7 weeks the same way. It may be that your body will realise that the baby hasn't grown and will start to miscarry sometime before the next scan, or the options seem to be either that pill which will induce the miscarriage or the D&C day surgery. I had the D&C before, and I traveled the following day. I was still quite drowsy and a bit uncomfortable - like bad period pains I suppose, and of course the bleeding went on for a few days. I don't think flying would be a medical problem, but some discomfort might be an issue - hope the flight is not too long, but of course ask your doctor. I have no experience of that pill though. I'm 37, and I understand the extra pressure that brings, so I hope it is that the dates are wrong and the next scan will be better news, but remember, that it doesn't mean that another pregnancy won't be successful - there are lots of stories on here of women who have struggled but got their dream eventually. Fingers crossed we will too.

[Skyblueboston]

I had. Missed miscarriage last year should have been nine weeks, had a tiny amount of red blood plus a few sharp contractions, I had. Small op where they dilate my cervix and suck out the remains of the pregnancy, it was a day op, four hours, felt fine till the next day I was rushed back in due to so much pain and still loosing massive clots.

I'm now 16.6 weeks and was terrified about getting pregnant again but fingers crossed this is my time to become a mum.

Good luck with what u decide to do and I understand what u are going through xxx

[gerti2006]

Thank you ladies for your support and nice words. I know that dates are not wrong because midwife was very sure that there is no heart beat but to convince me we decided to have another scan. So now I am waiting.

[sarajb]

Hi. I am sorry to hear this and send moral support. I went through pretty much the same thing very recently. I went for my 11 week scan and discovered there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped developing around 8 weeks. What follows may be a bit too much information... but I found it very hard to get information from the doctor on what was happening and what to expect so I am just sharing my experience in the hopes that it helps a little - having talked since to a couple of other friends, it sounds like their experience was pretty similar to mine, but I expect it's slightly different for everybody. I was told at the scan that if I didn't start to miscarry naturally, they would do the D and C, but..

Basically three days after the scan, I started to get some reddish-brownish discharge. I then had two days of what seemed more or less like a normal period, but slightly stronger cramps. I then had one day of horrendous cramping including some times where I basically needed to stay in the bathroom. It was pretty horrible and I would not have wanted to need to leave the house or be on a flight for that particular day. After that I had approx 10 days of bleeding - a lot more blood than I expected, but apart from that more or less like a very heavy period. I was up and about, doing things (including teaching) but I would say that if you could avoid being too busy in that time it would be better for you. Once the bleeding finally stopped, I was very drained (physically and emotionally) and spent about two days pretty much just sleeping I also was pretty depressed during that whole time. Flying at the heavy time of the miscarriage would not be great, but I expect once the worst is over it would be ok as long as you go prepared. And seeing your family might be just the right thing to get support if you can tell them what is happening.

It was a hard thing to go through, and whatever ends up happening (natural miscarriage or D and C) I recommend being as kind to yourself as possible and telling people about it if that feels ok to you - I felt very uplifted by the support and love of my friends and family and that was basically what got me through. Don't expect too much of yourself during the next little while, and just go with the emotions. I found it helpful to be open about it and acknowledge the grief, though I guess not everybody wants to talk about it. It was helpful to think that it had happened for a reason - our bodies and nature are good at knowing what to do and it's quite an amazing thing to realize how little control we have over them in this kind of situation. A month on I am now feeling healthy again and on good form, both physically and emotionally (although my first period was a lot heavier than usual so that was a bit of a shock - don't know if that's common).

Anyway, apologies if this is a bit full on - and if you end up going to hospital it might not be very relevent, but if it's a natural miscarriage it may help. I hope it may be useful to know all this if you end up going through something similar - I feel that the more we know what to expect the less frightening it is and I appreciated the honesty of my friends who shared their experiences with me while I was going through it. Very best wishes and good luck! We are stronger than we realize.

[gerti2006 in reply to sarajb]

Dear sarajb

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. At least I am going to have an idea what I am expecting. I just had 1 hour ago brown/redish discharge. I have a little bit of pain on my lower belly. .

And I hope I will be able to travel because I do want to be on this period with my family because I feel very lonely. My boyfriend lives 200 miles away and I cannot see him any time I need him. i don't have many friends around me.

Now I am just waiting..