Hi,
I am 19 and have just found out that i am pregnant. This is my first pregnancy, and i have been with the father just over a year. He is 80% for an abortion, for many reasons. All of which, are quite honestlu valid. I just cannot bring myself to that decision, i feel although it would be something i would regret for the rest of my life. I am absolutely terrified and i dont know what to do. Please help 
It’s your body and your choice. Regardless of what you choose, book a GP a appointment today, they might tell you to refer yourself to a midwife but just explain the situation to the receptionist and that you aren’t sure if you’ll be continuing the pregnancy or not and you’d like to speak to a GP about your options, don’t feel put off if they still refer you to a midwife, midwife means with woman which means they care for women no matter what their intentions are and stand by them through pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage etc and they won’t judge you.
You need to get the ball rolling with a GP/midwife as soon as possible though as if you do wish to carry on the pregnancy you’ll need prenatal care and if you wish to go ahead with an abortion, the earlier the better, as this means you could take a tablet at home rather than have a surgical procedure in a clinic or hospital. There are also organisations like BPAS and Marie Stopes you could talk your options through with.
But remember, it’s your body and your choice, if this isn’t a decision you feel comfortable with, don’t let anyone force you into anything you don’t feel 100% certain of. You’ll be supported by medical professionals no matter what you choose, there’s plenty of services out there that help young mums, and there’s also plenty of services out there that help young women through abortion, you won’t be alone at any stage in the process and there will always be some sort of service to help guide and support you. If you haven’t spoken to your parents yet either, maybe try speaking to them and explain you don’t know what to do? Dont go through this alone no matter what you choose, you’ll need people you trust and that care about you around you at every point no matter what happens. Good luck xx
Oh sweetheart, my heart goes out to you.It's your decision, but I would say if the reasons for terminating the pregnancy are basically practical issues... well, those sorts of things can be resolved one way or another if you really want the baby.
I think it's an emotional decision, rather than a rational one, and you need to go with your gut reaction. Do you want to be a mother right now? (I won't say do you feel ready - you never feel totally prepared!!) And it's alright if you don't want that right now. But if you do want it, don't be pushed into an abortion because it isn't 'practical' right now.
I'd have to echo the advice above, unfortunately you're on a clock here and you'll have to come to a decision pretty soon. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide xxx
Unexpected, unplanned pregnancy over here. (As in I was on birth control) Found out I was pregnant last year, 21 years old and already in a very rocky situation with my now ex, was on a course to study Medicine etc and was just a massive shock. Went to and fro with abortion because I knew I didn’t want to raise the bab in the same environment I was in with my ex but I also couldn’t come to the idea of raising him alone. If he’d have been younger than what he was (15 weeks) by the time I found out I definitely could’ve considered abortion more seriously but in the end somehow managed to stick the pregnancy out.
My pregnancy was absolutely awful and not because of any complications (because I thankfully had none) but because I developed severe anxiety etc but thankfully managed to get on track with a CBT and I had the most pleasant birth experience (even though it included forceps n tear etc). And now although it is absolutely hellish at times raising a little boy in the midst of a pandemic where everyone thought they’d be able to help out, where I didn’t realise how much of a single mother I’d really be 😭 I wouldn’t trade my baba for the world and I never regret my decision. But it just has to be you that makes the decision, no one else can make it for you.
Don’t get me wrong it’s so much harder to pursue everything I wanted to do career wise, money wise and just my overall energy levels are so low 😂 although he is 9 months but the strength, resilience and just deeper senses of love and confidence are what my pregnancy brought to me. Definitely have a chat with the midwife about this, theyre used to unexpected pregnancies and potential terminations and can definitely help you navigate what you like x
Sorry for rambling
Hope this kinda helps
Hey dear. I know how you feel because I am in almost similar shoe. I am 22 though and I am in my first pregnancy as well. The father is far from excited and the other day he might have suggested removing the child. It has killed the excitement in me but after deep thought, I reached my decision. You may never change how he feels about you and your baby. But you can change how you feel about you and the child. To me, I think life begins at conception and if I were to remove this child, I would be denying a very innocent person life. There is not much of a difference killing the unborn child and killing a child who's already in the world- that's just what I think. And also, as the mother, you are more connected with the child than the father is. You may never forgive yourself if you do it. Especially given the fact that the thought of an abortion kills you.
You are young dear, still full of life and so much is ahead of you. I would advice that you leave his silly ass behind and focus on you and the child. Also, give him time. Sometimes that's all one can do.
As I now tell myself, I have more motivation to achieve my goals because I am not only doing it for myself but in a few months time, I will have someone looking up to me.
Also, if you can , tell someone else like your folks or good friends whom you can count on. But your family will always have your back for sure. They may get angry but give it time, it will lift.
If you haven't finished school, please do, find a job and let the child color your life- because I'm sure he/she will like for so many other people who decided to keep their children .
But first, let yourself feel the pain you're feeling and then move on. But please, keep the child. You're not alone. Millions of women have done it, I'm doing it and you can do it.
Hi there, I am not in your situation and never have been but I can share how I process big decisions like this. First of all get some adequate help - I am sure there are associations that help on this topic, and for younger people too, who can help you out. You could probably get some sort of therapy/mental help support through your GP to talk it through.
Your partner's opinion is only that - his opinion. You have the right to have your own opinion, whatever that is, and you have the right to take the time to find clarity because no one can expect you to instantly know what it is you want to do.
You will need to make a decision sooner or later, of course, but if you decide you want to terminate, know that it's rather a matter of several weeks, not just days, and it's better to think it through properly to not end up havign regrets whatever you decide to do (look up the max deadlines and also the impact it has on how the abortion is done, if that is important to you).
What I would personally do to make my mind is a mix of, journalling, therapy, reading books and find out how they make me feel, search other women's experiences, all 4 ways and see how my gut reacts to each, which sounds good or OK and which sounds unbearable to me (among those who kept the baby and regret it; those who kept the baby and are happy/at peace/ok with that; those who didn't keep the baby and regret it; those who didn't keep the baby and are happy/at peace/ok with that).
You are still very young and life is long and surprising! And whatever decision you choose will be highly personal and totally valid - only you know your circumstances and your dreams.
Know that we are stronger than we think, and that the hardest part is making a decision; we can always learn to accept and take responsibility later on. Your gut feeling is very important. Don't make a decision based on someone else's opinion because ultimatley we are the only one really sticking with ourselves throughout life; I mean we are living our life, not others'.
In this day and age I think women have many more choices than before. You could pursue education later, for example.
Change is scary but I believe we end up adapting. So in summary I'd say what you need is to gather some reliable support, also tell your family, and paramount importance is to give yourself the opportunity to uncover what you really want. Only then can you make a choice and be at peace with it, whatever that is. Always have compassion. I think in a big decision like this, there will always be some amount of regret whichever way you go - any big change entails grief and loss, but it also brings place for something new. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you, even if you don't know it yet. Take care.
Lovely comment!
Just a couple of follow up points. 1. If you do need a surgical abortion, it's actually relatively straightforward and over that day. Taking a pill can be easy going but likely you'll have severe cramps. I needed to go back to work so took the surgical option. 2. If you're in doubt then talk to someone. I knew what I wanted to do, no question but if you're going back and forth then you need professional help and advice on what support you will get. 3. Ignore other people's opinion on what is a life and what isn't etc. by 19 you should have decided for you what a termination means. Take that sort of discussion out of the equation. The real question if you keep your baby is how you will cope, who can be in your support bubble, what you are going to do with no income that you would get if you were qualified and working etc. The most important thing is to find your support.
I am in a very similar situation. Found out I am pregnant and although my partner is very supportive, financially I dont know if we would struggle. Im due to start uni in January too. Its a very difficult decision to make but I have spoken with my gp and been referred to someone to speak to to help me decide. The appointment is a week away so it is really stressful not knowing what decision is best until then, but it was a relief to have things booked in ready. Its a really difficult choice and is tearing me apart, I never expected to be in this situation. Definitely need time to think about it but you need to speak to your gp to find out just how much time you have to think.
Pregnant or not?
Pregnant on implant? 
Redundancy whilst pregnant 
Clear blue test says pregnant!
