Fourth degree tear during labour

[Kal87]

Hi, 3 weeks ago I had gave birth to my first child. I was induced and my waters broke naturally. Even though my waters broke naturally they couldn’t feel my cervix at all. When I was dilated 10cm I was pushing for 2 hours and complications started to begin. I then needed a forceps delivery which left me with a fourth degree tear and loosing 1200ml of blood. I’m 3 weeks on and I’m still so sore I can’t hardly walk and struggle to sit up and give the best of my ability to my newborn. Has anyone suffered with a fourth degree tear who can tell me their experience? How long did it take to recover etc. Please just to put my mind at rest.

[Ahsh93]

Hi Hope you and baby are doing well. I had a second degree tear and also lost a lot of blood. Friday my baby will be two months and I am still recovering. They say after two months you should be pain free but will wait and see. Hope you get better soon. Just don't do a lot of walking and take paracetamol for pain relief.

[Tiredtiredtiredxo]

Hi! I have a tear not sure which, ended up with forceps delivery, stitches but labour was a lot shorter than yours. I’m 4 weeks in and I’ve only just started being able to wee without being in agony and walk for around 20 minutes without been in pain.

It was so frustrating I couldn’t even take my newborn in and out of his basket because of how much discomfort it gave me or even turn sides to be able to breastfeed. Sitting down was hell I ended up breastfeeding every night stood up but that aggravated them even more

You’re definitely not alone but keep on top of the medication. See if you’re midwife recommends having dihydrocodeine, paracetamol and ibuprofen but staggered so you’re never in too much pain. And just take it as easily as you can x

Hope the pain eases for yo

[Kal87 in reply to Tiredtiredtiredxo]

It’s absolutely horrible! I didn’t have any problems with having a wee or anything. I was having wees the day after a little bit sting but nothing bad. I suffer the odd sting but not all the time. It’s very frustrating that I just can’t do anything on my own when I’m so use to being independent and with this covid19 even more frustrating that I can’t leave my house or let anyone near my baby for her safety. She’s also so restless on a night she doesn’t go down until about half 11/12 even though she has a bath and bottle at 7pm she wants to be walked around the room and rocked and I just can’t do it! It’s just so painful standing up and walking around. I take paracetamol and ibuprofen but it feels like they don’t take any pain off it at all. 😟 I hope you and baby are doing fine!

[LauraJ85]

Hi, I had a really quick labour up until I had to push, I also pushed for 2 hours, turned out my little boy was back to back. I didn't have a fourth degree tear but I did have forceps and an episiotomy. I remember being in agony for the first few weeks, I had to ask at my 6 week check if it was normal and was told it was as with an episiotomy they cut into muscle which I think is what happens with a fourth degree tear aswell so will take a while to heal. I think from around 6 weeks it would only really hurt if I'd over done it and been on my feet too much and eventually went to a dull ache rather than actual pain. It did take a few months to feel normal but I normally only noticed it at the end of the day by that point. Keep taking paracetamol and ibuprofen. I also found having a bath helped. I hope you and baby are doing well x

[Kal87 in reply to LauraJ85]

I find a bath helps to ease the pain that’s why I tend to go in for about 10 minutes on the morning and night as I was told to only go in for 10 minutes. A lot of people have suggested a pillow to sit on but I’ve been advised that it makes it worse? I don’t know if that’s true. I take the regular pain relief but I’m still in so much agony with it. I’m just running out of ideas what to do 😟. Me and baby are doing fine thank you!x

[LauraJ85 in reply to Kal87]

I know it's so frustrating, I remember feeling like I was going to be in pain forever. I never tried a pillow but sitting on a rubber ring was suggested to me too x

[sarahharas]

I hope that you are both well! I only had second degree tears, but many stitches were needed (stitching was longer than my whole labour). For me it was the sutures that were really uncomfortable and I had them removed. I was told to take sitting baths in really salty water, because salt is a disinfectant and it makes you heal faster and it helps against itching.

Hope you will recover!

[Kal87 in reply to sarahharas]

I have heard about the salty baths as well! I might have to try it and see if it helps me.. I hope I recover too thank you!

[Run_rabbit_run]

Hi Kal87, I had a third degree tear, pushed for just over 2 hours and also had forceps delivery and episiotomy. Keep taking the painkillers and medication that you are given, including the antiobiotics. I can’t imagine the pain after a fourth degree tear but I found it incredibly sore to sit or to move or walk for a good 10 weeks and needed a couple of stitches taking out as they were actually stabbing me down there for 9 weeks until they got taken out. My midwife advised me to only pat myself carefully down there after a shower and after a wee, and during your shower to direct the shower head onto the sore areas with warm water and ever so gently massage your scar tissue (if you had an episiotomy). At first I was absolutely terrified of doing this and probably massaged it after 6 weeks but I always directed the shower head to ensure warm water was cleaning down there. This all helped to ensure I didn’t get any infections and I never touched any of those areas apart from massaging the scar during a shower making sure my fingers are always clean first. I had no idea about the pain afterwards when you hear it a lot about c-sections. I expected some stinging when I went to the toilet but not the extent of the pain I experienced so can’t imagine yours. I don’t sting when I go for a wee but it was tricker for a number two. I assume part of your medication includes lactulose to ease this. Keep talking to your midwife and the GP and let them know what is and isn’t working and the pain. Make sure they check your stitches each time they visit you (the midwife). I was told they rely on us telling them or noticing any problems or infections down there which isn’t helpful when we would not know what to expect as normal or part of recovery so I would advise getting them to check and if anything doesn’t feel right do keep mentioning it. I had to keep banging on about the stabbing pains for 2 months and finally got referred to hospital when i felt two stitches sticking outside of me which was causing the stabbing pains down there.

Also, I assume you automatically get referred to women’s physio but if not, please request it (usually this is automatic if you have suffered a third or fourth degree tear). Attend the appointments and the physio will assess and review your pelvic floor muscle and surround muscles and give you exercises. I wasn’t about going at first but they helped me so I had and built my confidence to go out. There was a time when I was in tears and thought I would forever have to wear two pads wherever I went and after 4-4.5 months I can go without but there is the odd incident if I cough or sneeze which apparently is the norm for most mums after childbirth.

I hope this helps and sending you a huge hug.

[Kal87 in reply to Run_rabbit_run]

It’s nice to hear someone who understands so much! It’s horrible the pain and feels like it’s never going to get better!

I’m taking normal pain relief and lactulose I’ve even had to get another bottle from the doctors as I ran out and started bleeding when I was going to the toilet.

My midwife has discharged me now so I don’t see a midwife. I had a health visitor for my baby but with this Covid19 no ones allowed to visit. I had all my appointments for checks and physio but again they have all been cancelled. So I just don’t know what to do!😟 I might ring up the doctors for extra pain relief. It’s more in my bum area where I suffer with pain. I could stand up with my baby in my arms and the pain I have it’s just so sore I could cry and I immediately need to sit down. Standing up for too long does the same it just sends this horrible pain and it feels so heavy. I try to do daily walks with my baby as I hate being stuck in the house with no air and I am crippled by the time I have walked around the block! It’s just horrible I feel more useless to my newborn because I am not able to do anything I would normally do.

[Run_rabbit_run in reply to Kal87]

See if you can order another bottle of lactulose just in case rather than wait until you run out. The physio advised me to get a little step or use some books when I went to the toilet so that my legs would be at a 90 degree angle and make going to the toilet easier. She also advised to buy some milled linseed from Aldi (in the cereal aisle next to the dried raisins and apricots etc). It doesn’t cost much but I sprinkle two spoonfuls into my porridge or yoghurt and drink plenty of water (tea and coffee will dehydrate you so try and limit these). This will help make things less painful when you go to the toilet. Probably TMI but I also had piles and never had them before, not even during pregnancy. I was so shocked and really thought they would never ever go away. It’s been 6 months since I had my baby and they went around 4.5-5 months and hardly get them now unless I don’t drink enough water. The GP did prescribe me some cream for the piles but they only soothed the pain a bit.

I think with COVID-19 and everyone staying at home, everything you are going through is feeling more heightened. This is completely understandable. I also totally empathise I’m feeling useless and so distraught about not being able to do much for your baby. I felt like I was useless and not a good mum and lost so much confidence in myself. My body didn’t feel like mine. I didn’t feel like myself at all. I felt like a shadow of myself and couldn’t stop crying. Please, please know you are a freaking warrior! You have given birth to your baby and your body has had to go through so, so much! It will take time to recover so be patient and give yourself a break. I put so much pressure on myself thinking after giving birth I would be able to do xyz and be moving around feeling like my old self being confident albeit expected feeling extremely tired from lack of sleep. I had no idea I would be knocked back for six from the birth with the baby blues and PTSD on top of it all. I did all the research and bought a spray for down there which cost me £20 with raving reviews and bought a jug to pour warm water for when I went it he toilet. I thought with painkillers and the jug and spray I would be sorted. The midwife advised against the spray and I didn’t need the jug in the end. I only ever saw mums talk about the pain and long recovery after c-sections and bad stinging after a vaginal delivery. I wish I had known all this so I knew what to expect. Instead I think I felt shell-shocked and thought I was a failure for feeling the way I did. Only after talking to other mums have I found out others have felt the same but feel afraid to talk about it for some reason. Maybe because we all give the impression that it is fine and that is just what mums do.

It sounds like you are doing really well getting up for a daily walk. Doesn’t matter how small it may be - just do what you can. Be patient and kind to yourself and your body during this recovery. Please ask for help from friends and family or your partner. Don’t try and do everything yourself. You need to rest for your recovery too. Eat as well as you can to give yourself the best recovery lovely. I’ll admit it took me about 8-10 weeks to start eating well again as I was living on packet croissants or brioche buns as my partner didn’t cook and just got me what was in the shops and I didn’t feel like I could cook with my PTSD. When I started to eat better and started to talk to friends, family, other mums, I started to feel better in my mind about how I was feeling and how I was doing as a mum. While it hard at the moment try to connect with your nearest and dearest using technology - see their faces (makes a big difference compared to just texts and messages), and of course you have everyone here on this forum too. Xxx

[Run_rabbit_run]

Was also meant to say the midwife advised against a bath or salt bath for 12 weeks due to the water not veins so clean when you are in it whereas a shower there is constantly fresh water running so reduces likelihood of infection. Friends have taken baths before for their tears and had no complaints but none of them had a third or fourth degree tear.